Please or to access all these features

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Just had my 2nd miscarriage (long post)

4 replies

merlino123 · 29/09/2010 19:04

Hi there, I've only been with mumsnet a couple of weeks, but I just wanted to share my experiences in case it helps anyone else, as I've got lots of advice and info myself the last few days from here, so thought I'd contribute.

I have just suffered a miscarriage, it happened two days ago, and I'm still in bed now with pains and bleeding.

I am 11 weeks pregnant, I started getting brown blood and a few cramps a couple of days ago, I decided to go direct to A&E and ask to go to the early pregnancy unit to get a scan. I live in a rural area and was on waiting list to be booked by midwife, so didn't really know who to contact, and when the pain seemed to be on the one side, I thought A&E the best place to go. They were great and got me a scan straight away within a couple of hours. Turns out the baby only had a flicker of a heartbeat and was much smaller than it should be, so they said it was the typical genetic problem and nothing I could of done etc.

So then it was really hard as they said they couldn't offer anything to manage the miscarriage yet, as the heartbeat was still there, if literally only a couple of beats per minute. So I had to go home and wait, it happened pretty fast this time, I had sticky jelly type blood for a few hours with constant painful ache and heavy period like cramps and bad back ache. It then turned totally agonising and I got more painful wave like pains, I kept feeling like I needed to push, and I ended up passing two large lumps of something and then have been bleeding quite heavy since. My DH and I made the decision to not look and to not do that to ourselves as that is not how we want to remember our beloved baby, so every time I felt that I needed to push I just sat on the loo and said a little prayer every tome I flushed. The space of tome was about 4 hours, then since I am just in bed with medium bleeding and aches, waiting for things to stop, been about a day and half now.

I actually have been through this before, we had a misscarriage of identical twins, also picked up at a scan, but a true missed miscarriage as both had def. died and no heartbeat. That was awful and such a shock as I was sent home to miscarry naturally, but I waited nearly 2 weeks and it was he'll waiting and being in limbo and worrying about the risk of d&c but being terrified of what I'd see miscarrying twins and what that would be like, but in the end I developed a temp and was throwing up so they brought me back in for a D&C and that was the best for me in that situation and meant it was all over with to grieve and recover from without sitting there waiting.

Sorry know I am waffling, but I'm so scared and hurt right now that it's helping, I am here if any other women are also going through this or perhaps trying to choose how to manage a miscarriage, whether naturally etc, just post back if you want to talk. xx

OP posts:
benandoli · 29/09/2010 19:54

Hi I have just had a miscarriage as well at 10 1/2 weeks. This is my 4 th miscarriage but has been by far the worst as it was further along than the others. My experience was similar to yours and to be honest was pretty horrific. I do have three children for which i am eternally grateful, and yes they are a huge comfort. Except that everytime i look at them I am reminded that it is their brother or sister I have lost. This pregnancy was not planned but was very much wanted. However, my husband does not want to try again as three children he feels is enough and also he does not want to put me through this agian. I know he is right really but it is very hard to accept. When I had my first miscarriage which was when I had one child I felt as if I would never give birth again, but as I now have 3 gorgeous children that obviously wasnt true. Don't give up hope

k1r5t1e · 29/09/2010 21:14

hi merlino123
im sorry to hear about your loss i am currently going through the same thing....I have been trying to conceive for 3 years and i finally got caught and at 6 weeks went for early scan as i had a bleed but sonographer said everything was fine and baby ok and growing well, i went home feeling overwhelmed with joy.....I went for another scan at 10 and half weeks just to check everything was fine i was relaxed and was even discussing baby names with my partner in the waiting room only to be told that our baby had died and there was nothing they could have done :( this was last wednesday 22/09/10 i opted for the eprc the next day and was very nervous about what to expect but i didnt expect to feel normal straight away and kind of feel guilty for being "ok" physically but definatly not mentally. I am heartbroken and feel empty inside and i miss my baby so so much :( x

merlino123 · 29/09/2010 22:26

I'm so sorry for you both, and k1r5t1e don't feel any guilt, it's a positive thing that you have got through this safely and you are physically ok, that means you are healthy for when you TTC again, and you should be able to start healing and grieving together when the shock starts to go, without all the trauma of pain too, I am so sorry for your loss, I understand how you feel as we had picked out names too, I'd just been to mothercare to get a pregnancy swimsuit and we cried in the shop because we felt so lucky and happy, and we were imagining how it would feel to be pregnant over Christmas etc, it's just awful the shock and grieving not just the baby but all the hopes and dreams you had too. You will get better in time though and i hope next time things will go ok for you, don't leave it too long before you TTC again x

OP posts:
merlino123 · 29/09/2010 22:31

benandoli I'm sorry for your loss and your trauma that you've been through, it must if been awful and I'm sure your husband just wants to keep you safe and is just in protective mode to best deal with it too and cope with seeing you hurt, but I guess that must be frustrating too x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page