loss

[zuzu22]

I just want to talk to someone who was going thru all this...I and my partner was so happy knowing that we will have a baby.I am 22 years old,he 33.all the blood tests were taken and everything was good.we was so happy.then I had my first 12 week scan and it showed that the baby got a bit bigger head-it was 1mm.bigger.doctor said its probably nothing,but they made follow up scan last friday and doctor was worried and said I need to do amnio.I was so scared,but I v done it,couse I wanted to know if everything is okay with baby...before 3days I got phone call from hospital saying that they found out that baby got Edwards syndrome...I was scared till death and sad,soo sad...and before yeaterday I been at hospital and they said I need to couse misscarige better then keep baby,couse later or sooner all babys with Edwards die.I wanted to die myself/.today I had termination.I got 4more pills in my vagina and after 1hour I give birth to my death baby.I feel so emty and in pains.and thinkin why me...I was one of 3000 womans at this time...doctor said its not my folt or my partners-its just bad luck.but it dont make me feel any better...I am scared of future pregnancies and still thinkin about my little one...I love him soo much,but he or she is in heavens n...can please someone write me soething who had same or similar situation...I was 14 weeks pregnant.

and sorry about my english...I m other europien....

zuzu am so sorry for your loss. I havent experienced edwards syndrome, but i have MC at 12 weeks.

I hope you get the support you need from this thread.

Zuzu, it's very early on in your grief, please give yourself time to be sad and cry and remember the hopes you had for your baby. I'm very sorry for your loss. You may want to make an appointment with your GP in time to discuss Edwards Syndrome and ask any questions you have. It's hard to take in information when you're trying to cope with the emotions of loss. I don't know if having one baby with Edwards would make it any more likely to have another in future pregnancies - hopefully someone else will be along to give you better advice, or talk to your doctor about it.

Hi Zuzu. I am so sorry.

My first pregnancy was like this - my baby had Edwards Syndrome and we chose to have a termination at 13 wks. That was 3 years ago. I got pregnant again and had a healthy baby boy. Now trying again for another.

It was the hardest thing I have ever had to cope with my entire life. I didn't have special counselling, but the nurse practitioner and the Consultant at the Fetal Medicine Unit were so brilliant with us... they gave me so much support and encouragement to try again.

I am here to listen and talk whenever you need. There is a special thread too, I will post a link for you. I hope you can rest and recover and eventually the pain will lessen. x

There is a very long thread with some lovely people who have been where you are now. Here is the link ... I am sure it will help you to read and even join in if you want.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/978305-Antenatal-support-thread-for-women-who-have-chosen-to-terminate?pg=1

zuzu that sounds awful you must be completely heartbroken. I have recently had a miscarriage but having to decide to terminate the pregnancy must have been a horrendous decision for you.

I don't have any great words of wisdom for you and there are no words that anyone can say to take away your pain at the moment. Take good care of yourself and allow yourself to feel sad and to grieve. Your hormones will be all over the place and that makes it even harder to deal with your emotions. But it does get better in time. In a few weeks, although you will still feel the pain, you will hopefully be ready to face your everyday life again, and one day soon enough, you will be looking forward to trying for another baby. Right now you need the time to cry for your lost baby and you need support from your family and close friends.

I am also scared of a future pregnancy, and from what other people have said on here, that is perfectly normal. I know that when it happens for me again, the first 12 weeks will be a very long time to wait. But the statistics are in your favour. 4 out of 5 pregnancies succeed I think.

I'm so so sorry for your loss. That must be so very hard for you. I found posting on MN very helpful when I miscarried, please keep posting on here if it helps.

You might want to also consider phoning the miscarriage association or Sands , both offer counselling and you really need all the help you can get to get you through this. Its not something you should suffer on your own.

A huge hug for you,

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

By the way, I am an English teacher, and I think your English is excellent, even in times of distress!

thanks everyone for the help and support...I know it will take a time to get over it...I feel so sorry for everyone who gone thru all this...xxxx...

I'm so sorry Zuzu.

My son was stillborn at 30 weeks in June, a scan at 25 weeks showed some markers for Down's syndrome, up until this point the scans were all fine, the only concern was that I had a lot of fluid. However, the amnio ruled this out and everything was negaitve. The post mortem also told us very little so we don't really know why my little boy died.

I too am terrified about further pregnancies, however our consultant has given us the go ahead and we are trying again. We are going to have some genetic sounselling but I doubt this will tell us much.

Be kind to yourself, it is the worst thing to go through and I too kept thinking 'Why me?'. xxx

I am so very sorry for your loss xxx