missed miscarriage at 16 weeks

[amy74]

Hi everyone, I'm very new to this but really feel the need to talk to someone.We unfortunately had a missed miscarriage at 16 weeks just over 2 weeks ago.I had no bad symptoms- if anything very strong morning sickness up until 13-14 weeks.
I went for my routine ante-natal appt and the midwife couldn't find a heartbeat so I was told to go to the local hospital for a scan where they confirmed the baby had only recently died. I then delivered the baby two days later in hospital which has to be the worst day of my life so far.
My DH has been fantastic and so supportive and we've talked and talked about how we feel,however, I still feel in such a mess.
We have 2 other children who are 7 and 4 and feel so lucky to have them so still cannot stop grieving for the baby I will never meet.

I have good days when I feel I'm getting through this but then something so very little will set me back and I can't stop crying. When should I start feeling better? I'm a nurse and due to go back to work next week but still the thought of it terrifies me but at least I will be kept busy.:(

Also i found going back to work actually helped because it kept me busy

Thank you for the lovely post @Onaloop I hope your visit to the cemetery was comforting.
Can I ask please a silly question which is what journalling is? I have heard it mentioned before and wondered how to do it?

@AdrianeMole and @Azzik1 Thank you for your encouraging and supportive words and I am sending my best wishes your way for a healthy and happy 2022! xx
It’s been sad time but feeling lucky to be surrounded by close family this Xmas. Feel free to write to me any time and let’s hope we can share better news next year xxx

@AdrianeMole I just buy a nice notebook and spend time writing out how I am feeling, sometimes its just a stream of consciousness writing quickly to get out any thoughts and feelings, other times its writing things I am grateful for (usually in the morning) or positive things that happened that day in the evening. One thing I found really useful was going to a park or cemetery and finding something from nature, a conker or a leaf or something and describing it in detail in writing in my journal. It sounds a bit weird but actually a counsellor suggested it to me after I'd already been doing it, its a form of mindfulness and helped me get away from some of the thoughts swirling round in my head and focus on something else and calm down a bit. I've got about 8 books now and still journal when I have time.

Thanks so much @Onaloop. I am going to give journaling a go!

I was googling like crazy just because I feel like I’m losing my mind. Last Monday I went in for my 16 week ultrasound to be told our baby girls heartbeat had stopped. She was our 8th IVF embryo transfer and our rainbow baby. Every test came back low risk and every ultrasound showed her growing perfectly. I had a D&E on the Tuesday ( 5 days ago) and I’m so heart broken. The same day I found out she had passed my best friend had her pregnancy confirmed. I’m trying so hard to be strong and grateful for the family we have and to be happy for our friends but right now I’m struggling to survive the minutes that tick by. I’m 39 we have 3 beautiful kids and 4 embryos left, but I’m so scared I won’t be able to have another baby because of my age. I’m lost I’m scared and I wish I wasn’t apart of this group. I really love her I miss her and our dreams of the future with her in it. I have tried to make Christmas special for our kids but it’s painful to push on and smile to make everyone not worry about me, when all I want to do is curl up and sleep until she can come back to us.