When I had my miscarriage

[Changebagsandgladrags]

I had my miscarriage in May 2009. It was truly awful. However, I'll never forget the nurse in the EPU.

She must have only been in her early twenties, surrounded by all this hopelessness. I remember her being so very good. I fought back tears (I didn't want to cry in front of her for some reason) as she went through all the information. One thing she said to me that's so true was: "You'll never forget this" meaning that it will never truly go away. It gets better, but it's always going to be there in the past. She was sympathetic without being fake, she also gave me hope about trying again and made me promise I would. She was factual without being cold.

Then the next morning she called me to see how I was doing. She was the only person to do that. Maybe they do it for everyone. She didn't mind that I asked her everything she'd told me the day before. She never said "its on the sheet I gave you" which I probably would have.

I made a promise to myself that I'd write to the hospital management about her. I never got round to it. I promised myself I'd take my 12 week scan picture to show her, I never did. I decided I'd take my new baby in to see her, but haven't yet. Not even sure if she's still working there.

I think often of the superb support we were given when we lost our first child at twenty weeks. The staff simply could not have been better, from the initial diagnosis of a problem to arranging and paying for a proper funeral for my baby.

I meant to write too, but never did. I told them though, but I feel I should have written.

People like this really make a difference.

WE had the most fantastic support when we lost dd1 at 21w, when I had a molar pg in 2008, and for the births of our little dcs. I did write (and gave the obs a bottle of whisky, but we'd had a 5 year relationship with them by the time ds was born).

What sticks in my mind, though, are 2 things:

When I went for a scan at 6w with dd2, we were scanned by the same doctor who had given us dd1's devastating diagnosis. I was able to tell her then what a wonderful job she'd made of it, and I'm so glad I got to do that, because if you have to hear bad news, I can think of few better ways or kinder people.

And

When I had given birth to dd2, i mentioned to the mw the name of the mw who had helped deliver poor wee dd1. She went out and found her, and this lovely woman, came flying into the room, gave me and dh bearhugs, and then proceeded to help with the stitching.

I bloody love these people, and will never forget them.

Nice thread CBAGR I had a mmc in Aug at 16weeks. I would love to say thanks to the nurse who sat on my bed and chatted to me for half an hour after dh had to go home (they let him stay til 11pm at night after my ERPC at 9pm). We talked about lots of things, the details of which I forget, but I won't ever forget her.

I will also never forget the nurse who was with me for my cervical ectopic in June 2009. She transferred me from the EPU to the ward, (they wouldn't discharge me seeing as it was rare) she came to see me at the end of her shift, and she came back the following morning when she wasn't working, but was visiting a relative in the same hospital. I did write and thank her, but I have not taken DS in to see her yet (but tell myself I will)

Good nursing staff really do make a huge difference

I will never forget the nurse who walked me through from the EPU to the ward when I had just been told that I had indeed lost DC1 at 11 weeks. With 6 words she made me feel that I was actually allowed to be grief stricken, "I'm so sorry for your loss". She also came to see how I was the next day.