Feeling sad

[Wombat33]

Tentative hello. This is a very selfish thread just asking for some support. I had an early scan yesterday which confirmed miscarriage. It's my first pregnancy. I'm tired, bleeding, in pain and on my own. Can anyone spare a virtual hug to help me through the day?

Inmyprime I think everyone's different. Your experience sounds horrid, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. What a shock. With me, I had begun to suspect something was wrong, so although it was devastating to have it confirmed, it wasn't so much of a surprise. Also, because I was only 7 weeks and they think the baby stopped developing a lot earlier, I think I've probably got away 'lightly' if you can call it that, with the symptoms, unpleasant and painful as they are. I sort of adopted a rather belligerent attitude to work and the rest of life - I would have moved heaven and earth, caused chaos to my colleagues and family and run naked through the streets if it would make everything okay and bring my baby back; but as none of that was going to do any good, I may as well carry on as normal and fulfil my obligations to everyone around me. Sounds a bit crazy but I sort of feel the need to punish myself for having failed to look after my bean. I know that's ludicrous, it's not my fault, I did everything right etc etc but that's the way I feel. Anyway, my DH is back from his business trip in Friday and I have got the weekend 'off' from other commitments so I'll get some TLC then and by then I'll hopefully be in the mindset to allow myself to accept it.

wombat its funny you talk about feeling the need to punish yourself. I too am feeling like that! I have quite literally lost the will to eat anything for about 3 weeks and during one of my wobbly sad moments sobbed to my husband i was punishing my body by refusing to feed it because of what it had done! How bizarre is that?! I suspect its perfectly normal to react in that way, it just feels a bit odd! Glad you will get lots of TLC this wkend, heres hoping that DH keeps you cuddled up in his arms tonight :)

Oh Nickstermum your thoughts sound so similar to mine when I'm feeling low. I have a suspicion that it is far more normal to feel these things than we imagine when we're caught up in our own grief. I'm sending big big hugs to you and am hoping we both find these feelings start to recede soon.

My DH is now home and taking good care of me and I'm trying to take good care of him too.

One thing I'm finding is helping me is looking forward. More important to me than 'punishing' myself, or anything else, is trying to make it go right next time. The sister at the EPU told me on Weds that one of the reasons that they advise waiting a cycle before trying again (aside from dating) is to allow your body to recover and restock its nutrient supplies. I too was feeling disinterested in food and eating well, but the idea that I'm doing it not for me, but for the benefit of my future bean, I find really motivating. My DH and I have decided that we don't want to wait, we want to try again asap so I'm looking at it as doing whatever I can to make that happen.

I don't know whether thinking along those lines might help you too? On the other hand, everyone is different and I don't want you to feel under pressure, so please ignore my comments if it makes you feel worse.

Am thinking of you and hoping that each day is making it a little bit easier xxx

Nickstermum just read on the other thread that you're still bleeding. No wonder your emotions are still so raw. At least your body is sorting itself out and giving itself the time it needs. Keep the faith, you will get there xxx

Wombatt33 - I am glad that you are getting some TLC from DH and it also sounds as if you are feeling more positive. I wish you all the best and hope this weekend is ok.

xx

wombat its not blood its just kind of discoloured, sometimes there sometimes not! Bizarre really! Not a good way of convincing DH that SWI is on the cards right now

Its a good thought that, i am seriously having to force myself to eat at the minute, if only for my DS... but its a good motivation to think about the next sticky bean, and there will be one,i have to think positive!

There will be one (or more than one I hope in my case!) xxx