17 &5days and miscarried

[wonderif]

hi need some advice from those who have been there

had a regular app today for check up midwife couldnt find heartbeat, and then sent me for a scan baby had died

am numb i do have 2 children and am thankful for this just so in shock

the hospital were good but told me to phone when i was ready and they would admit me to get whatever they do done.

can anyone tell me about this, they mentionned d&c etc?

thank s ina dvance

Wonderif, thanks for the update - I have wondering what's been going on. I'm glad that you're no longer in limbo but it sounds a very sad experience for you. I am dealing with this a bit like an ostrich and trying to get on with things although the pain is there under the surface. You are very brave to go through what you did & I'm glad you shared the information as I had been thinking about the alternatives. Again, the ostrich approach of not seeing the baby or know anything about what was going on was what I would have wanted although I do wonder whether in the future this will be harder - who knows. All I do know is that people who go through this time and time again are amazing people & I am counting my blessings to have 2 lovely dcs & this isn't the beginning of the journey.
I have been out & about a bit locally & have had to cope with the inevitable explanations. When I saw these people last weekend I had a sizeable bump & now I clearly dont - putting my maternity clothes away rather than seeing them in the wardrobe was painful.
Wonderif, hope you are tucked up in bed by now & are looking after yourself. Sending hugs.

Big hugs to you both xxx

Thank you for letting us know how things went Wonderif. Again, I am sorry that you had to go through this terrible experience. I can certainly relate to the undignified part.

I hope that you manage to rest over the coming days and that your heart starts to heal.

lionmummy: Thinking of you as you endure the sympathetic glances and put your maternity clothes back in storage.

So sorry to hear this, thinking of you, have been ther emyself. SANDS is a great website for support and advice if you feel that might help. Take care.

thanks for your messages, lionmummy i dont feel like my tummy has gone down much to be honest maybe it will take a few days for me.

i am not long up we had a very long sleep last nite and didnt wake to 11 am, must have really need it.

i am dreading going back to work big office and am sure not everyone will know.

My tummy has gone but I am sadly left with a spare tyre from all the overindulging in first trimester! I have asked my boss at work to let as many people know as possible so I don't have to but am still dreading going back for the same reason - I am coping when I am distracted but as soon as people want to talk about it then it becomes very difficult for me. I hope you are feeling better today; a sleep until 11 is something I haven't done until before either of the dcs came along, although am probably off to bed very soon.

i am same with spare tyre, and exactly same when distracted grea t when at home and kids r in bed its awful !

i was lucky as parents kept kids for 2 nites one whilst in hospital and last nite 2 let us both have good kip.

do feel a bit better today thanks.

take care xx

Am on holiday at the minute so not been able to check in online but have been thinking of you llionmummy and wonderif - am sorry you've been going through this.

Putting away maternity clothes is rubbish - I couldn't stand to wear them anymore even though I didn't fit back into my normal clothes, felt like a fraud, my mum took them all home to keep for now as I didn't want to be sorting them out. Felt even worse the first day I got back into my pre-PG jeans though, it was a harsh reminder that it's all gone

I hope you're getting plenty of support in real life and that things get easier over time. Give yourselves plenty of time to grieve and take it all in.