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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

loss at 24 weeks

17 replies

haribomum · 15/07/2010 20:34

i have been in hospital today as had a routine mw appt and she could not find heartbeat and i have had some bleeding. hosp scanned me and my baby no longer has a heartbeat. im lost atm. cant rem what any of the docs said but i have to go back tomorrow to pass the baby.

can anyone tell me what to expect or what will happen?

will i be able to see my baby??
and what will happen to him post delivery??

thanks

OP posts:

slightlycrumpled · 15/07/2010 21:03

Oh haribomum I am so sorry for your loss. You must be devestated.

I believe that you will probably be induced to bring on labour and birth. Whilst I have no direct experience I am sure that if you wish you get to hold your baby.

Do you have anybody with you?

Lynli · 15/07/2010 22:25

I am so sorry for your loss.

I have been in your situation, and I just wanted to run away. I did not really look at my baby and the hostpital dealt with evetything afterwards. This is something I regret.

The hospital tends to take the lead from the mother, you may see your baby and take photographs. You may arrange a funeral if that is what you would like. But there is no legal requirement to do so.

I was looked after very well by the hospital and was alone on the ward that day. A MW was with my all of the time and cried with me. She gave a drug to reduce anxiety and I felt incredibly calm.

I was given a drip to induce labour and it was over quite quickly.

I was given an appointment four weeks later to ask any questions I wanted to ask and tests were done to try to find a reason.

I am so sorry this has happened to you and wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. Just take it one day at a time and ask any questions that you want to or they will haunt you later.

Thinking of you

Loopymumsy · 16/07/2010 06:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pinkmagic1 · 16/07/2010 06:50

No advice Haribo, just want to say how sorry I am for your loss. Thinking of you.

MmeLindt · 16/07/2010 07:00

Haribo
I have no experience of this, but wanted to express my sadness at hearing that you have lost your baby.

Take care of yourself. I hope you have some RL support available.

slightlycrumpled · 16/07/2010 07:43

Thinking of you today.

Treetrunkthighs · 16/07/2010 08:15

Thinking of you

Kazmog · 16/07/2010 19:37

Dear Haribomum, I am so sorry to hear your news. I gave birth to a stillborn son 3 months ago and I do understand how confusing this time can be. Every council is different in terms of the legal requirements because I was almost 28weeks I had to name, register his birth and death and organise the funeral service (although some hospitals offer to do this for you I beleive). Try to book an appointment when you register the baby so that you dont have to wait around in the registery office for obvious reasons.

I was induced and spent time with him and then left hospital the next day. You might be offered a postmortum to understand the cause of death, we did this but it came back inconclusive - which is apparently very common. However because we chose a PM we had to wait 5 weeks for the funeral. It is a really personal thing and you can only do what you think is right for you. For me seeing him was good and although I dreaded the service it really helped me.

The hospital offers councilling but for me it didnt work out.

The one thing I would say is spend time with your partner and be kind on yourself. If you need to chat let me know and I can offer you another address.

Sending you lots of thoughts and hugs kx

knickyknocks · 16/07/2010 19:57

Just read your post. Thinking of you today haribomum. Lots of love xxxx

knackered76 · 16/07/2010 20:32

Can't say anything helpful just completely devastated for your loss Thinking of you.

missedith01 · 16/07/2010 20:50

So sorry haribomum ... I miscarried at 20 weeks so a bit different as it technically wasn't a stillbirth and I believe at 24 weeks that's what you have. But I had to take some tablets and they worked pretty quick. I delivered the baby - no pain really, and he weighed a couple of pounds. We got to hold him for as long as we wanted and the hospital took photos and hand and feet prints at our request.

As mine was a late miscarriage rather than a stillbirth there were no legal requirements. It was up to us whether we wanted to take the body home for a burial.

If you can face it I would very much suggest you hold your baby for a while. We kissed our son goodbye, and I'll never forget that moment.

Take one day at a time, and be gentle with yourself. There's nothing harder than this.

freyski · 16/07/2010 21:57

how increadibly sad for you. Thinking of you

Pinkchampagne · 17/07/2010 10:27

So sorry, haribomum. Thinking of you at this sad time.x

randomimposter · 17/07/2010 11:37

So terribly sad. All the very best for you and your family

PrettyVacant1 · 18/07/2010 08:18

So Sorry Haribo.
Thinking of you and your family. xx

deemented · 18/07/2010 08:56

Oh Haribo, i've only just seen this, i am so so sorry.

IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy · 18/07/2010 09:46

Haribo - that is desperately sad news,I am so sorry.

Unfortunately I had the same news recently, but at 16 weeks, again at a routine MW appointment where she couldn't find a heartbeat. I had had no pain or bleeding or any other sign that something might be wrong and it came as a terrible shock. I can only imagine what it must be like at 24 weeks, and am so sorry that you are having to go through it.

Again one of the things that really bothered me was what would happen to my baby afterwards, I found the hospital chaplains were brilliant, came to see me as soon as I requested it and talked over our options very gently and calmly. In the end we opted for a private cremation and memorial service; the chaplain sorted out all of the paperwork for us. Please do ask to speak to the chaplain if you think it would help you. We had the service on Friday and it was very very sad but very beautiful.

I'm not sure about the requirements for naming and registering your baby; because at 16 weeks our baby was a miscarriage rather than stillbirth there was no obligation to decide on a name, but actually we did and I think that helped, I feel at least there is an acknowledgement that there was a baby and that he was loved.

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