miscarrying when you didn't know you were pregnant

[toomuchinformationalert]

DP and I have been using condoms so it never crossed my mind that I could have been pregnant. We were intending on TTC next year hence the condoms and no hormones.

So when I had this very heavy blood loss I was really worried that it was some uterine problem and a possible sign of infertility.

We've now found out that it's a miscarriage. I am feeling really guilty for the thought entering my head that I'm glad that it's not some serious health problem.

I also feel bad for not realising I was pregnant. Looking back I suppose there were a couple of mild symptoms. But I've not exactly been taking care of myself as well as I would have if I'd known or been TTC.

The baby would have been unplanned but not unwanted. Is it a loss to lose something you never knew you had?

My head's a mess so would be good to know if others have exerienced similar?

So sorry for your loss - it is still a loss. No matter how early on, whether you knew or not

Try not to think about what you could have done differently, i have just been through an early loss at 5 wks - although i did know - and know that it is hard not to do this

Try and be kind to yourself and rest up

It is helping me to think that it was just not meant to be this time (((hug))

So sorry to hear what you're going through.

I've just had a missed miscarriage. We were TTC but the first I knew of being pregnant was when the bleeding started. What followed was six weeks of hell, continual bleeding and misdiagnosis at the EPU, which I NEVER want to go through again.
I too can't believe I didn't know I was pregnant, especially since we were trying, and I was also relieved, then felt guilty, that I had no major health problems.

So in answer to your question, I think it is a loss even if you never knew you had been pregnant. It really depends on how you feel about it emotionally though so I suggest you talk to DP about it, it may help you both deal with it all.

Hope you're feeling better about it soon