Has anyone suffered depression some months after a miscarriage?

[Pinkchampagne]

I ask because I seem to be in a bit of a bad place now, after having a MMC 3 months back.
I have found myself going over & over it with DP & crying for the last 3 weekends. Saturday I felt very negative about everything & DP thinks I seem depressed.
I have a doctors appointment this afternoon, but cannot understand why I have hit a low a whole 3 months after the event. I thought time was meant to be a healer, but it seems to be getting worse for me.
Has this kind of thing happened to anyone else?

I haven't experienced depression after a miscarriage but I did have postnatal depression which went undiagnosed for several months thanks to my GP and HV both being completely rubbish! If you're going to see your GP today, it would probably be worth asking if they can refer you for counselling, or you could try the miscarriage association. Do be kind to yourself, a miscarriage is a loss and it's natural to grieve and the grieving process does take time.

You poor thing. It's so understandable to be down after an MC - and there is no set time limit for it.

Are you trying for another baby now? Could that be why you are so down? I got really depressed after the shock of my second MC (I managed to remain philosophical after the first one) when I didn't conceive quickly. I spent a year crying and curdling inside every time I saw a pregnant woman or a baby.

I wish I'd sought help but at the time I didn't realise I was depressed. The fact that you are aware of your situation is really good, and you should tell your GP this afternoon how you feel. I would try counselling, as reallygrumpy suggests, or joining one of the MC threads here. Everyone on there seems really supportive and I think that's what you need.

Don't be hard on yourself. An MC is a horrible thing - it's a bereavement that most people expect you to get over quickly (just one of those things) but the reality is you grieve for the little one you lost without even knowing them, and the future you will never have with them. You will get past this, but you just need some help, and there's no shame in that.

Yes, but it was also tied in with work issues. Things got worse after each of my 2 miscarriages and worse still with the pregnancy which followed that because I worried so much about whether the same thing would happen again. It's perfectly reasonable that you would feel this way, plus hormonally you're probably a bit up and down too. I'd definitely go to see your doctor and make sure (s)he takes you seriously.

I am not trying for another baby yet. This pregnancy was a surprise & we were not in the best place to be having a baby, as DP & myself are not yet living together. It is something we are trying to do, as DP has his house on the market, but things are moving very slowly.

I have been with DP for nearly 3 years now & it would have been our first child together. I had gone through the whole of the first trimester, went for my 12 week scan & was told the baby had stopped growing around the 7 week mark.

I will be 38 in October, so time isn't really on my side.
I have 2 boys from my marriage to ex h, but feel there is a huge hole inside of me now, and I am scared that hole will never be filled.

3 weeks after the MC, I found out my young cousin had died very suddenly of an unknown cause. I have also had issues with my boys' dad recently, and have been struggling with my children's behaviour, which could be because they are picking up on my mood.
I keep crying & going over & over the same things, and if DP is not in the mood to listen (due to feeling a bit fed up himself about other things) then I get most upset & offended, but am also aware that I am dragging him down with me. I just feel so overloaded & like I will never find my happiness again.

pinkchampagne, you have had so much to cope with even without an MC. No wonder you feel overloaded. You will find happiness again, but you just need some help to get there. Tell your GP how you are feeling, ask to be referred for counselling, and if your GP won't listen, see someone else.

I know it's small comfort now but your age is no reason why you can't have another baby. But before you get there, you need to look after yourself and be patient with yourself. You've been through a lot and you don't have to cope with this by yourself. You will feel a lot better when you know that people whether on MN or in RL are trying to help you.

Hi pinkchampagne I totally echo your feelings after MC. I have had 3 recurrent MC's and time hasn't been a healer for me. Although I'm pregnant again now I still cry most days for my lost babies. I read recently that depression is not a sign of weakness but is caused by putting up with something/coping for too long. This line hit the nail on the head for me. I wish you well and hope your grieving eases.

I've had 2 mc's this year and I am finding that I can become very sad if I'm left to my own devices for too long. If I'm running around after dd, working etc during the week I don't think about it. But the weekends can be harder because that's the only time I have much time to myself and I can start to dwell on things.

You're doing the rigt thing by going to the gp. I hope you can start to feel better soon.

Just been to the gp. She thinks my depressed state is due to being overloaded with things, so no point in ADs. She thinks counselling is probably the answer, but there is around a 14 week wait for that. Feel worse now!

Not sure I can wait 14 weeks for help. Looks like I will have to try to get through this spell on my own.

14 week wait is ridiculous! Do you work and does your employer offer anything? I'm only asking cos we have an employee assistance programme which is a telephone counselling service and calls don't have to be about work stuff. Other places to try are the miscarriage association and the Samaritans who are v good. You don't have to get through this alone, there is help out there. Take care of yourself, it sounds as if you have a lot on your plate.

I work in a school so nothing is offered, I'm afraid. I did phone the MA earlier & asked if there was anything local to me. She wasn't sure there was but has given me the number for a support line should I need it & told me about their discussion forum, so was worth contacting them.

Fingers crossed it might be quicker than 14 weeks. Keep coming on here as well.

I had a miscarriage on New Years Eve at 8 weeks. I was at my worst about 3 months later. We went on a family holiday for my mums 60th and I was such bad company I am ashamed to think of it now. Irritable at my family, couldn't cope at all with what was quite normal toddler behaviour from my 3 yr old, bursting into tears or bawling dh out for no reason.
I was pinning all my hopes on getting pregnant again soon and every time it didn't happen I was just overcome with grief and rage. I felt better when I accepted that I couldn't replace the lost baby. It took a few months more. I guess I'm trying to say it could still be early days in the scheme of things and sometimes things get worse before they get better. Hope you feel better soon.

Pc, I certainly suffered from depression after a mmc. Partly caused by pressure I was putting on myself to be ok, when I wasn't feeling ok.

Just like mamadoc I put all mph hopes into getting pregnant again, six months later I found I had fertility probs too, and by that time I was very sad. Only when I turned round and faced what it was I was running from - the pain of it all - did I actually start to heal.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. If you do feel you need ads then go back to your gp. It is very tough finding support. Keep talking. Don't belittle your feelings x