Email from my child’s infant school uk? I’m sorry but this all seems wrong?

[Frazzledmomma123]

Dear Families,

I wanted to address a concern that has understandably been raised regarding the use of a ‘safe word’ to move children out of the classroom. On reflection, we recognise that terms such as safe word and evacuation can raise anxiety and concern.

We agree that children should not have to leave their own classroom in order to feel safe. However, there are times, though not daily, when moving the class is the safest option for all children. This has happened a few times, and only when absolutely necessary. We fully accept having to go to such measures is a worry, but it is a system that schools are having to turn to more and more. I appreciate this provides little comfort, but hopefully helps you hear that supporting emotional regulation has become a real focus and factor for schools nationally.

The children themselves were involved in choosing the word, and the purpose was to minimise panic and keep the situation calm if it needed to be used. Our aim is always for every child to feel safe, happy, and able to learn in their classroom, as is their right. We are putting a range of steps and strategies in place to work towards this, and we do not intend this approach to become the “go‑to.”

We also want to reassure you that we are supporting children to understand that behaviour is a communication of feelings, but the way those feelings are shown must still be safe and appropriate. We do not condone unsafe behaviour, and we share parents’ concerns about children seeing this as “normal.” I have spoken with the class to reiterate that message and reminded them that they should always talk to a trusted adult if they feel unsure or worried. In school, children choose five trusted adults; it may be helpful to have a similar conversation at home about who your child feels they can talk to at school.

We are very aware that things are challenging at the moment. We do not want this to continue, and we are actively putting support in place to help all children feel safe and settled in their learning environment.

Thank you for reading, please keep speaking to us about your concerns.

Very normal in primarys now. Kid kicks off throws tables and chairs /other objects. Class leave so as to not get any other child harmed.

So many people on here now just like moaning, I swear.

Schools/Doctors/the NHS/ government - nobody can do a single thing right.

Everything is either labelled woke or is whipped up into paranoid hysteria.

This entire post seems designed to stir up arguments and cement the notion that 'the World's gone mad!' - in fact, there are so many of them on here now that it smacks of organised fear mongering.

Now wherever have we seen that happen before 🤔

Completely agree. I would not be putting up with this as a parent. Can't believe how bad schools have become over the last 20 years.

That child is going to get a shock when they grow up if they end up in prison or a mental health hospital, or indeed any adult residential setting. Can you imagine the evacuation of all the prisoners / patients / residents on the wing when one gets violent? No. The offender will be wrestled to the ground by staff, put in a "hold" position, and possibly given a shot of sedative.

Who’d be a teacher now eh? My DM was a primary school teacher and senco for years but got out before all this madness.

Unfortunately this is unable to happen. The fact is if a child throws a table and becomes a danger to others removing the others is the safest option.

Special schools being so hard to get into and teachers being unable to isolate children leads to this. And this is the future too.

I know parents who have been waiting years for an ECHP to get their kids into a special school. What are they and teachers supposed to do in the meantime? They are not allowed to refuse struggling kids.

What sort of disaster is going on in our primary schools (never mind Secondary, I dread to think), where this kind of letter is deemed suitable? The politicians have a lot to answer for. Not all kids are suitable for all class rooms. Everyone is not equal or the same, Where are the special schools for kids that need them? How much are kids suffering when unsafe or disruptive things happen? what about the quiet ones just trying to get on? They don't get what they need, The kids with difficulties don't get what they need either. It's a scandal and it has to change.

most children are violent, especially at a young age. Most babies have pulled hair/hit/pushed. Many toddlers have tantrums that are frequently quite violent.
if your child has ever been at nursery they have probably come home at some point with a form saying either that they bit someone or that they were bitten.

some children (not many) are never violent.

most children are socialised out of this by the time they start mainstream school but most reception classes have at least one or two kids who push/hit/bite when they get overwhelmed.
They don’t all need specialist provision - some haven’t had any preschool experience and get overwhelmed, some are experiencing an abusive environment at home, some are disabled whether through being ND or otherwise and don’t respond to normal socialisation.

it’s hard to tell at that age whether a child will mature out of it (so just needs a bit longer), they are adjusting to school after no nursery/preschool, they are exposed to physical violence at home so see it as normal or they have significant disability meaning they need specialist provision.

most schools/social services go down the parenting classes route first because they tends to flag up the most obvious abuse (eg Syrian refugee parents at my school who weren’t aware that hitting their kids was frowned upon in Britain - the kids behaviour began to improve when they weren’t subjected to violence but it was still a long slog)

specialist provision is generally reserved for the situations where the kid needs it and the powers that be prefer to fix the parenting if that’s what the issue is.

it does mean that especially in reception and year 1 there are quite a lot of violent kids while the process gets to work on which ones “just” need better parenting and which ones need specialist provision.

Exactly. It's really not a new approach is it. Who is in charge? Poor teachers.

This is so true. It’s happening all over the country and many many teachers are as pissed off with it as parents are. Not many went into teaching to get bitten and have chairs thrown at them on the daily.

I went into teaching briefly when they were dismantling special schools and I left when I could see the writing on the wall. Some children need calm, small group environments with specialist trained staff. Mainstream can never meet all the needs in mainstream classrooms. It’s so unfair on everyone in that room. And I feel most sorry for the kids who are frightened.

There are more children with send.

nobody is particularly sure why, although some researchers think the increase in survival rates of premature babies in the last 20 years is one possible cause.

This is one of the reasons we took dd out of school, year 5. A violent kid with a tendency to throw furniture.
its shit.

You are not unreasonable to want a separate setting for this child and there is every possibility that the child’s parents want the same.

As a pp said, the best thing that parents of non-chair throwers can do to make this a reality is to oppose the SEND reforms currently being weasel-worded into law. There will be no alternative to mainstream for most SEND children. The ONLY thing that persuades the LA to provide support is the legal enforcement of a hard-won EHCP. This right is being removed in the current reforms.

My LA loses 97% of SEND tribunals. The needs of the children within that 97% will not go away, but they will be expected to be met in mainstream.

If the child has become so dysregulated they have become violent, how do you propose the member of staff just removes them?

In the old days, the head would have removed the child physically but they can’t do that anymore.

It's quite standard planning for Jewish children in Jewish schools in various countries. Russian Jewish schools have to have armed security guards.

This is common place in schools. It saves a situation where a situation is threatening in some way and explaining it would take too long and scare them. Knowing this word just means they have to move quickly and safely to another location, Do you have the same complaint about the existence of fire alarms?

I expect that everyone would prefer a potentially violent child was in a setting that could manage, help and support their behaviour. Including the childs nearest and dearest.

But unfortunately that is unlikely.

Like many others on here, my DS was in a classroom that had to be evacuated a few times due to one kid. Damage was getting worse each time - throwing chairs breaking windows, ripping up other peoples work and books etc. Poor thing just got himself worked right up and really struggled in calming down. After a while the parents did withdraw him (or school said they couldn't cope?) - I don't know what happened to him but I sincerely hope he has got support and thriving somewhere.

Forcibly removing the child is probably more dangerous for your children.

Do you think the child is choosing to behave in this way?

I imagine the school staff and very probably the child’s parents wish the child was in a more appropriate setting or recieving the correct level of support. If you’re concerned about the level of support SEN child are recieving in school then I suggest you look carefully at the proposed changes and contact your MP to gibe your opinion on the situation.

I understand how disruptive and scary the situation can be for children to be in. My own child experienced watching a classmate behave this way last year.

In my previous comment, I was referring to what I know about external threats to Jewish children.

It's really quite shocking that schools have to make arrangements for children not feeling safe within their classrooms, and that the serious threat is from other pupils.

Why can't children be removed if they are a danger to other pupils - by bodily force, if necessary. To accept violence as "self-expression," and "emotional dysregulation" as inevitable or even normal, is pretty shocking.

Because teachers are no longer allowed to do this.

I thought my childs teacher (and TA?) were trained on restraining for the one kid.

But from my very very limited understanding, that had to be a final straw and getting the kids out the classroom first was priority before a chair hit any of them. And they could only restrain if certain criteria were met or something.

Maybe that was just playground gossip, obtained from yr 5's (notoriously unreliable) - that and it was a few years ago.

Forcibly removing violent child tends to result in injuries both to the adult doing it, the children around them, and the child themselves.

in addition many teachers will refuse to do it these days as even small children can inflict career ending or life changing injuries.

the union advice is not to do it.

Absolutely and distressing for the class to witness.

Unfortunately it's difficult to forcibly fo anything to a child.

Seems the schools hand are tied.

I wouldn't be happy with this either.

Think the child causing issues needs a different educational setting if their needs are not being met by conventional means.

No the child in question needs to be moved out of the school if they can't cope with conventional schooling.