Email from my child’s infant school uk? I’m sorry but this all seems wrong?

[Frazzledmomma123]

Dear Families,

I wanted to address a concern that has understandably been raised regarding the use of a ‘safe word’ to move children out of the classroom. On reflection, we recognise that terms such as safe word and evacuation can raise anxiety and concern.

We agree that children should not have to leave their own classroom in order to feel safe. However, there are times, though not daily, when moving the class is the safest option for all children. This has happened a few times, and only when absolutely necessary. We fully accept having to go to such measures is a worry, but it is a system that schools are having to turn to more and more. I appreciate this provides little comfort, but hopefully helps you hear that supporting emotional regulation has become a real focus and factor for schools nationally.

The children themselves were involved in choosing the word, and the purpose was to minimise panic and keep the situation calm if it needed to be used. Our aim is always for every child to feel safe, happy, and able to learn in their classroom, as is their right. We are putting a range of steps and strategies in place to work towards this, and we do not intend this approach to become the “go‑to.”

We also want to reassure you that we are supporting children to understand that behaviour is a communication of feelings, but the way those feelings are shown must still be safe and appropriate. We do not condone unsafe behaviour, and we share parents’ concerns about children seeing this as “normal.” I have spoken with the class to reiterate that message and reminded them that they should always talk to a trusted adult if they feel unsure or worried. In school, children choose five trusted adults; it may be helpful to have a similar conversation at home about who your child feels they can talk to at school.

We are very aware that things are challenging at the moment. We do not want this to continue, and we are actively putting support in place to help all children feel safe and settled in their learning environment.

Thank you for reading, please keep speaking to us about your concerns.

Not sure what your aim was in posting this with zero information, zero comment and zero question.

Trying to stir up some ablism?

The only thing wrong with it is that it's AI generated, rather than written by somebody in language that is accessible to parents with lower levels of literacy, need to use a translation function or just don't have the time to trawl through it for meaning.

Tl;dr

We have children with SEND. We can't meet their needs, but the council won't accept this as it'll mean them spending money from their budgets. When the children aren't happy, they do things that are upsetting or could get somebody hurt.

The safest thing to do for staff and the other children is to leave the room - it's a lot better than trying to tackle and drag one child out of the class. When we were planning what to do if somebody tries to get into the school, we came up with the idea that a codeword would be a good idea - that way the little ones know to be quiet and do as they are told without being frightened.

Parents have complained about this child lots of times. Now one of them has fixed upon the phrase 'safe word' because they automatically thought of what they do in bed. Sorry, when we did this, we didn't have anybody into kink in the meeting.

It's not fair on the children concerned, not the ones with SEND, not the others, not the staff but we can't do anything about it, we've been trying for months/years. All we can do is record every time this happens and hope that one time, the council won't reject the referral. We'd be in trouble if we said the child couldn't come to school as that's against the Law. And Mum/siblings need a break/the poor kid's safer here than at home in any case.

Please stop shouting at us that you're going to sue unless the child concerned is kicked out, it's not going to happen and it's not helping anybody.

when DD was in year 1 or 2, there was a kid who would have similar meltdowns and throw chairs etc. he was very big and strong for his age and hard for the teachers to physically handle. it was a lot quicker to get the other kids out. the teacher would shout "avengers assemble" and they would all troop out and sit in the staff room!

They do try to take them out of the classroom - but it depends on if you spot it coming. If it’s already too late, you have to remove the others, calm the child, then remove the child.

It’s not ideal, but we’ve chosen to mainstream children who really can’t cope, while refusing to pay for the support and facilities that they need. Some schools (including DDs) have special
units with them so that the child has a ‘class’ but spends most time in the unit in a small group with tailored provision. Other schools either can’t or don’t have this - so the SEN students have no escape and occasionally (or not so occasionally) go boom.

The email is not a model of clarity but the school's care for the children is obviously heartfelt. In my experience as a safeguarding school governor and parents, children's reactions to a disregulated classmate are unpredictable, and also linked to how their parents behave. What matters most is that parents trust the school to keep their child safe so the child is confident going into school.

What would you prefer?

Has there been a bad event at this particular school? It all sounds OK but sort of implies a previous problem which I would like to be aware of if there was.

In Berkshire the entire county has tp
listen to a horrible alarm every Monday morning that’s a practise for the most damgwrous people in the uk and some of the worlds worst serial killers escaping! The kids are all taught at school what happens if…and they get used to it

I’m the parent of one of the ‘chair throwers’. He’s now in a specialist school, where actually, due to practices in place he’s never deregulated enough to throw chairs and when he gets to that point, appropriate interventions, including physical when required. He’s thriving now, but the 4 years to get there were utter hell for him, me and every other child and teacher in his orbit.

Unfortunately, if the proposed SEND reforms go ahead, he’ll be ‘managed’ in a mainstream classroom!

It’s so, so important that parents of mainstream children (whether ND or not) and not just SEND parents respond robustly to the white paper as otherwise this situation will be even worse than it is now and with absolutely no hope of changing it.

"Just taking them out of the classroom"? I think you have no idea how violent a child in the middle of an episode like this can be - throwing furniture, scratching, spitting, kicking, biting etc. I’ve seen two trained adults struggling to control a five-year-old who bit the arm of one of them so hard that the skin was broken even through his jacket and shirt, before they managed to get the child in the approved hold. It was like struggling to control a wild animal.
(In case you’re interested, the child in question was the way he was because of abuse at home, and it ended with his mother being prosecuted and the poor child in a specialist residential home. For much of the time he was absolutely fine and very lovable, but when he wasn’t the safest thing for the other children was for them to leave the room as quickly as possible.)

I assume unsupported SEN children. As a parent of a child who moved from mainstream to specialist at HUGE effort and perseverance by myself and the school, I have so much sympathy for the everyone involved. It seems like a diplomatic letter.

What they can’t say is that there are nowhere near enough specialist places for the children who need and we are all paying the price.

Even more worryingly, the government is currently proposing even more children with high needs are kept in mainstream with less funding then currently.
I do hope everyone is writing to their MP to oppose the changes the SEND white paper suggests.

It's not new practice. I was doing this over 10 years ago. We didn't have a safe word though. I'd just say "Class, line up" and off we'd go to the hall/library/computer suite, whilst other members of staff dealt with the one child left behind.
Whilst the lesson was disrupted, we continued to learn. We didn't go outside for an extra playtime.

As with pp, the child in my class had an abusive home life. Let's not blame it all on SEND or ND.

It’s not the entire county of Berkshire, it’s one small part of it. Where we are you can’t hear it at all and we are at the furthest area away by far. It’s only really the Crowthorne and Bracknell areas.

I think most would prefer their children to go to school to be educated in a peaceful and safe manner. When you have to start moving a whole class because one child is violent then the country has a huge problem. Such children are obviously not safe to be around other children and those children that "kick off" will become adults that kick off and hurt people. In no way should it be normal or acceptable for children to be traumatised by going to school and having to witness violent behaviour day in day out. Adults would not accept this in their workplace so why should our children or our teachers.

You can’t hear it because it doesn’t go off anymore.

I'm glad he finally got the support he requires. Awful it took so long

DS was picked up and thrown by another child when they were in Y1. Ironically it was DS who had the 1:1 support, who wasn’t with him because she’d been taken off him to go and work with yet another child who needed support. None of them should have been in mainstream.

It’s so wrong isn’t it.

It is a shame for the child, the class and the staff, nobody wants to be in that situation.
It is almost always safer for all involved to take the class elsewhere.
Staff are restricted in how they can handle children, it should only be if the child is a danger to themselves or others, and even if they are then handled out of the classroom it has to be done in a certain way so as not to hurt the child - but when they’re dysregulated and flinging their bodies around it can be really difficult, the emotional toll for staff is a lot too and every hold has to be recorded on a long winded form to justify handling the child.

I’ve lived here a long time (when it was still going off every Monday) and have never been able to hear it.

Schools taking measures to protect kids without scaring them?

WTF is wrong with that?!!

None of us can know whether the school is already attempting to get additional support for a child who is struggling. It isn’t a speedy process unfortunately and in the meantime, there has to be a plan to ensure the safety of the children in the class. Calmly removing the class is a recognised strategy, intended to cause the least disruption possible.

I imagine the email has been triggered by concerns expressed by enough parents to make it necessary to explain to the school community. Of course it’s not what anyone would want, but everyone knows that the current situation is rapidly becoming u tenable and schools have to do what they can to ensure that learning takes place in a safe environment.

Are there fewer specialist school places available now or has the demand increased? They say SEND spending has hugely increased yet it feels like provision is constantly being cut.

What on earth is that email garbling on about. Many words where few will do, and still the point isn't clear. I feel so sorry for schools / teachers now - they are getting themselves mangled up in whatever madness this is.

I’d prefer if a child’s behaviour is unsafe they are in a separate setting and the behaviour is not accepted as normal or expected. I’d prefer my children were safe and in the instance that a child is becoming dangerous adults forcibly remove them and demonstrate to the rest of the class that the behaviour is unacceptable and has consequences.