Email from my child’s infant school uk? I’m sorry but this all seems wrong?

[Frazzledmomma123]

Dear Families,

I wanted to address a concern that has understandably been raised regarding the use of a ‘safe word’ to move children out of the classroom. On reflection, we recognise that terms such as safe word and evacuation can raise anxiety and concern.

We agree that children should not have to leave their own classroom in order to feel safe. However, there are times, though not daily, when moving the class is the safest option for all children. This has happened a few times, and only when absolutely necessary. We fully accept having to go to such measures is a worry, but it is a system that schools are having to turn to more and more. I appreciate this provides little comfort, but hopefully helps you hear that supporting emotional regulation has become a real focus and factor for schools nationally.

The children themselves were involved in choosing the word, and the purpose was to minimise panic and keep the situation calm if it needed to be used. Our aim is always for every child to feel safe, happy, and able to learn in their classroom, as is their right. We are putting a range of steps and strategies in place to work towards this, and we do not intend this approach to become the “go‑to.”

We also want to reassure you that we are supporting children to understand that behaviour is a communication of feelings, but the way those feelings are shown must still be safe and appropriate. We do not condone unsafe behaviour, and we share parents’ concerns about children seeing this as “normal.” I have spoken with the class to reiterate that message and reminded them that they should always talk to a trusted adult if they feel unsure or worried. In school, children choose five trusted adults; it may be helpful to have a similar conversation at home about who your child feels they can talk to at school.

We are very aware that things are challenging at the moment. We do not want this to continue, and we are actively putting support in place to help all children feel safe and settled in their learning environment.

Thank you for reading, please keep speaking to us about your concerns.

yes, i mentioned upthread i was taught because of my own job, but i also did retraining because of my sons meltdowns.. there were a few times where i was actually called into remove him safely from the computers end of school day rather than risk his TA's... he had a real rough patch in yr4 and because i was a school volunteer and DBS checked, sometimes i think i spent more time on site than off.

It all depends on the child though. My then 12 year old DS went through a violent period for a year where I had to restrain him on the floor so he wouldn't hurt his little brother, myself or himself. No way I could have removed him from where he was. I had to use all my strength (and I'm tall and strong) to hold him down and he still managed to bite and kick. Luckily this only happened at home because his 1:1 was a tiny elderly woman who wouldn't have had a chance. It's easier to make the others leave the classroom even though I admit It's not optimal.

I agree with your first point.
Moving or removing one child is easier than evacuating a whole class. Maybe we're lucky, but we have TAs who handle disregulated students superbly.

Disagree somewhat with your second point. With some pupils distraction or redirection might always work but there are many who have unpredictable triggers and their meltdowns/ violent outbursts are really not a failure of the staff.
Even with a 1-1 it's not always avoidable.

OK, year 4 is still manageable. But try with a sturdy year 7-8-9 and you will get hurt.

This seems ridiculously convoluted.
I don’t even know what they are talking about. Is it fire evacuation drills?? I can’t really see any scenario where the whole class ‘would be safer’ leaving the classroom.
why do the say this ‘has happened’ recently several times?? I don’t know what sort of emergency they are referring to.
I hate this bollocks about anxiety / safe words / safe space. Children are at school and we can all explain to them it’s compulsory and sometimes they’ll have to evacuate in practiced (hopefully) fire drill situations. I don’t understand what else is going on here. The person writing this has issues imo!!! It’s all overly sensitive and over the top. I’d be baffled if I received this letter as a parent… I can’t tell what your concern is @Frazzledmomma123 if it’s confusion like me or…?

This is a valid point too. The system is not working for children, parents and teachers.

How expensive can be to have decent school provision for disabled children. As a civilised society, we are measured by how we treat the most vulnerable and that's all our children, especially those with difficult to manage disabilities and their families having to battle on with little support but also children who don't have these additional needs but who still have a human right to an education and the right and the rightful expectation to feel safe at school. These children too can end up traumatised and unsettled by violent and disruptive going ons in the classroom subsequently needing additional mental health or educational support. Of course some children are super hardy and not phased by anything much but many nt children have fears, worries and challenges and there are nd children who need a calm and predictable classroom. Having to deal with daily disruption and aggression at school can be very damaging to them and everyone else. And yes, lead to school refusal and anxiety.

because I have no contact with this type of child my options were only assumptions which is not helpful input. The comments have changed my opinion on various things and opened my eyes to a range of procedural problems facing the education system. If by asking if this was common place made people feel attacked I apologise. Learning is only possible if you seek different perspectives which dispite feeling that by not having a ND child my options or questions are not valid I’ve discovered a lot from this thread that I was unaware of and will impact my opinions on the white paper.

i'm aware, but the OP was talking about primary level, which is where i've based my points.

Am shocked to read the responses about evacuating the whole class for one child’s behaviour! There’s me thinking this was fire drills. I wouldn’t accept this. I’m two years into primary and have never heard of anything like this happening! Certainly not for another child’s behaviour. My son’s teacher has a naughty spot where children sit following poor behaviour and prior to this she has a cloud system where they get a rain cloud put next to their name on the board. I think there’s a couple of kids who are more frequently there but nothing that would require a full class evacuation! The use of the term ‘safe word’ is also batshit mad imo.

The child I made that mistake with was exactly yr4. Even primary school children can cause chaos and real injury if they feel cornered.

This was our experience until a new child joined in year one and it’s been constant, several times a week, for the last 18 months.

ETA the parents have never been told, the parents of children who’ve been injured get notified about an incident but we’ve never been told about the evacuations and when parents have brought it up they’re told it’s all in hand and not to worry. Also no safe word here, the kids are now so used to extreme disruption and violence they see it starting to kick off and line up by the door to evacuate.

It is concerning and harmful for all, including the children who cannot regulate. It must be frightening for the teachers as the classes get older. I think all are being failed - the children who are at risk, have their lessons disrupted and are afraid, plus the children who are approaching the age of criminal responsibility and smashing up a classroom.

What?! How is it even remotely acceptable that children should have to leave a classroom because one child cannot behave?

If I had not evacuated the class I way up this thread I mentioned when I did, one of them may likely have had something aimed at them/their head/tables up turned up on them.

So yes, evacuating them was calm and safe. This is quite rare situation at the moment, but the context and behavours of year groups are changing.
And, no, I could not have pinned down/removed/controlled/restrained whatever else some of you want me to do two teenagers faster and stronger than me running around my room, not following instructions and upending/throwing things. Not my job, not my capability.

Completely unacceptable.

Violence in schools is so normalised and accepted these days. We are raising generations of children to see violence as ok, imagine these kids as adult entering into relationships and thinking it's OK for chairs to be chucked?! Extreme but if that's what they've grown up seeing regularly then they will see it as normal.
There are daily instances of teachers being attacked, other children being hurt etc.
Its not right and parents have every right to be concerned. Children are missing out on education due to being evacuate, they are also witnessing violence which they should not be witnessing. Every work place seems to have a zero tolerance for violence except schools :/
Clearly the government aren't arsed though as they aren't interested in doing anything to solve the issue.

@RocksByThePool unfortunately I have been there with not being quick enough and a child resulting in a head injury.
I will also never break up a fight again due to being injured in the stomach quite badly. If they want to fight, that’s their decision.

Yep both my DC went through this. And each DC has different scars from the experience.

My DS2 has ADHD, he didn't need to be in a specialist school, he did need the other children to be taught not to deliberately wind up the child with ADHD. I witnessed it once when they were coming out of school in primary, DS2 was told off, I don't know how often it happened, and he was excluded for 3 days in secondary after being provoked.

@TheLovelinessOfDemons yes sadly, wind em up and watch them go is also quite common. Normally provoked by another ND child.

No need to appoint ‘Security Staff’ , just provide the relevant training to adults working in the school.

Indeed, in nursery, when I came to pick DS2 up, he'd throw his shoes at me. He wasn't diagnosed then, so the teacher didn't actually deal with it as well as I did.

I am very sorry to hear that Maltesers and yes, exactly, I fully agree with you. We are told to avoid all physical contact with children, safeguarding, prevention, boundaries etc. The idea I would in any way get involved in restraining them, in my fifties, at 5.4, is not feasible or workable.

This is one thing I’ve learned from this thread that I previously had other opinions about. I think teaching the children how to properly engage with others with consideration of their emotions is a positive step and doesn’t necessarily have to mean they can’t have a voice or they have to constantly watch what they do which is part of the joy of childhood.

That's why I think that the rest of the children need to be taught how to behave around ND people.