Email from my child’s infant school uk? I’m sorry but this all seems wrong?

[Frazzledmomma123]

Dear Families,

I wanted to address a concern that has understandably been raised regarding the use of a ‘safe word’ to move children out of the classroom. On reflection, we recognise that terms such as safe word and evacuation can raise anxiety and concern.

We agree that children should not have to leave their own classroom in order to feel safe. However, there are times, though not daily, when moving the class is the safest option for all children. This has happened a few times, and only when absolutely necessary. We fully accept having to go to such measures is a worry, but it is a system that schools are having to turn to more and more. I appreciate this provides little comfort, but hopefully helps you hear that supporting emotional regulation has become a real focus and factor for schools nationally.

The children themselves were involved in choosing the word, and the purpose was to minimise panic and keep the situation calm if it needed to be used. Our aim is always for every child to feel safe, happy, and able to learn in their classroom, as is their right. We are putting a range of steps and strategies in place to work towards this, and we do not intend this approach to become the “go‑to.”

We also want to reassure you that we are supporting children to understand that behaviour is a communication of feelings, but the way those feelings are shown must still be safe and appropriate. We do not condone unsafe behaviour, and we share parents’ concerns about children seeing this as “normal.” I have spoken with the class to reiterate that message and reminded them that they should always talk to a trusted adult if they feel unsure or worried. In school, children choose five trusted adults; it may be helpful to have a similar conversation at home about who your child feels they can talk to at school.

We are very aware that things are challenging at the moment. We do not want this to continue, and we are actively putting support in place to help all children feel safe and settled in their learning environment.

Thank you for reading, please keep speaking to us about your concerns.

I was taught proper methods.. so was my DS's TA who also had specialist autism training.
By the time he was in yr 5 she had done wonders with him and there was only one incident the whole year, and none in yr6.. he hasn't had a violent one since and is now 19. He's taught himself (with help from me and from professionals) to remove HIMSELF to a safe space if he feels overwhelmed.. it just means part of his EHCP is the provision of a safe space for him to retreat to. At his current placement its a beanbag in the corner of the classroom which has his ear defenders in a box next to it.

From reading the OP’s posts I believe she does not care about kids with SEND having the opportunity to go to special school. She thinks they should be kept at home as a way to punish the parents, whose fault their behaviour actually is.

We have the “inclusive” system in Scotland and it is awful. It amounts to functionally shutting disabled children out of meaningful education - and massively impacting on typical children’s ability to learn.

My child has severe learning disabilities, will almost certainly never talk, constantly screams and bites and hits. I’ve been told to expect him to go to mainstream.

If you don’t want children like mine in mainstream classrooms in England and Wales, even if you are only concerned about the non disabled children, PLEASE fill out the consultation.

Im interested in your physical management stance as I see it works well for the PRU but is it staffing ratios and facilities not just training.

its just many classes only having one staff member present so they have to restrain and move a child alone. My sons class had 36 pupils when he was at primary about 8 years ago.

Where do you move your dysregulated child to and then who is with them when you go back to class.

I am also surprised it only takes a minute to be fair as my sen child did have to be restrained once and it took 2 staff as they had to swap over when thry got tired for their safety.

Or do you just have a call system and a trained member pitches up quickly.

I don’t think it would be upsetting for many of the class. My DC had a child in their classroom - a child who shouldn’t have been there, frankly - and that child was very violent, not just because of dysregulation but purposely spiteful and violent, eg they would hide, leap out at a child and smash their head against a wall, laughing as they did so. Now clearly that violent child had emotional problems but a lot of their behaviour wasn’t because they were so wound up they couldn’t control themselves. It was nasty, deliberate attacks on other children, some quite serious.

The school kept very quiet about that child and until parents compared notes and injuries to their DC, we had no idea of how bad things were. The children, including mine, had been told to ‘be kind’ so had said very little to their parents. When I questioned my DC, they revealed that they’d been evacuated from class daily, sometimes multiple times in one day. They also revealed that they’d been evacuated had to wait outside the classroom for around 40 minutes.

A group of parents went into school and spoke to the Head very vigorously. From that day, the child didn’t enter the classroom and was educated elsewhere in the school (mainly wandering around with a poor TA being pacified) - and the rest of the children could get on with learning in peace.

Now, if that child had been restrained and removed from class instead in front of the other children, I’m very sure that the vast majority would have been absolutely delighted!

Violent children shouldn’t be in class so classes should very, very rarely need to be evacuated. If they are in class and become violent, they should be removed by multiple trained staff as long as the child is removable (ie below a certain age/weight and not ‘armed’ with anything at the time).

No, to all of this.

I think you might be surprised. It's horrible to watch. Also when we're talking about violent children, in my experience it very rarely presents like the calculated version you describe.

Why is SEN and poverty in that ?
No correlation

So no one should know what’s happening in schools? Or should non ND parents not have the right to question their kids safety at schools?

Parents know this is happening. I'm surprised this surprised you

“Mass autism nightmare” sounds fun. Not to mention inclusive. I’m in.

And somehow it’s the parents of autistic kids who are derided as wrongheaded.

I saw too , you didn’t get the replies you wanted so came here too . Seems to me more like a post to create division .

On the contrary, this thread is encouraging all parents who think inclusion is a shit idea and are concerned about safety to respond to the White Paper. Have you, OP?

Yes. This is the most important point to come out of all this.

Fuck me am I glad my family is grown 🫨

Parenting a little girl who’s telling both sets of grandparents she’s nervous in school then being expected to put up and shut up is not something I’m willing to do. The discussions need to be had from all sides I don’t want her to become a school refuser because no one’s going to question what’s happening.

Yes, you’re absolutely right that it’s about the physical school environment and staffing ratios in mainstream.
In the PRU that I work in, our most used physical management is a ‘guide’ out of class into a corridor. Now, in our provision there are doors preventing children from running through the school. That might not be the case in mainstreams.
I’m not talking about restraining a child in a classroom. I’m suggesting moving them from a classroom to a safer space. This is not distressing to watch when done correctly, and it should be quick. However, I do accept that this requires a second member of staff to be present (either to assist with the move or to stay with the class.)
I should also point out that in our secondary provision, staff do not physically manage (generally, although it can happen if there’s a particularly dangerous situation) but instead they simply allow the young person off site.

Plenty of people are questioning what's happening. It is probably the biggest issue in education currently. Others have asked if you've responded to the whitewater, you haven't responded. There are things you can do other than go online and start arguments.

Did someone really say it was easier to remove 29 kids than to handle one being aggressive?

On what planet?

I've worked with kids from 2 up to 17, i can assure you, moving children enmasse in a stressful situation is NOT simple or easy.

Quite frankly.. what IS easier is learning the childs triggers and tells and heading off their disregulation BEFORE it gets to meltdown. I always tolds my sons schools that all the tools they needed were in his EHCP, and if he HAD a meltdown, they'd failed him, because there would have been so many opportunities to redirect him first.

Did you do your teacher training in a mainstream school? I think it would be almost impossible to recreate in a mainstream (having worked in specialist, PRU and mainstream).

I was actually interested in opins and experiences from both sides before filling it in as that’s the best and most informative way to voice opinions but guess that just doesn’t fit the assumed narrative of them vs us.

I don't know what 'them versus us' you're referring to.

The point of the whitepaper is to get all different opinions. They don't need you to collect a range of opinions for them, they just need a range of individuals to respond.

The secondary school where I live includes a dedicated unit for pupils whose special needs include significant issues around emotional regulation. They work on supporting children with managing their behaviour and gradually start to integrate them with the mainstream classes.

It's been a victim of its own success, and the model is now specified in so many EHCPs that there's no way it has capacity to meet them. Many now have to go out of county to get appropriate provision and it's massively expensive.

And that's the crux of it really - there is insufficient funding for educating children with special needs, along with so many other things local authorities do. Here, adult social care is under-resourced leading to bed-blocking, the highways department can't afford to fix potholes and library opening hours are being cut year after year. It's hard to see where they can find more money unless the central government grant to LAs is increased or the council tax goes up.

Do you do physical handling? I once made a mistake, intervened too early with a very, very mild move/ guide and the child went ballistic which then required a very public situation with lots of adults restraining. I admit it was my mistake but it's what can (not always) happen if you just try to guide the dysregulated child away. Many of them escalate at being touched and some (the more able ones) lose face in front of their peers (which escalates).

Then schools will have to appoint security staff.

We already have a very real retention and sickness crisis amongst school staff. This is a very strange way of addressing it.