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Middle schools

Connect with other parents seeking middle school advice.

Year 7 trouble at high school

7 replies

Liz1387 · 19/07/2025 07:11

Hiya, I just wanted to get this off my chest as more I think of it the more cross I get and wanted to see other people's opinions. My son is 11 still and just finished year 7. Hes always found it hard at school especially with the friends side as hes very loud and for his age not very mature and sometimes tries 'Too hard' to fit in with what he sees as the popular ones. I've had him assessed by CAHMS for ADHD as he has a lot of traits but they have ruled it out. He was ok when he first started school but these last few weeks he has really struggled not wanting to send him in. He is definitely no angel and I will admit that and can say some hurtful things. He called his ex a dwarf/midget so was put on a behaviour contract where he was not allowed to say nasty things to others but the problem is they are saying nasty things to him. I've seen messages from his ex calling him a gay boy. I've heard him on phone to others and them taking nick out of his hair, calling him sid the sloth saying they dont wanna talk to uncool kids. Yet when he says anything nasty he fails his contract and is put in isolation. The other day he came home and telling me he didn't want to go to school as 3 boys were chasing him across playground they have pulled him down by his bag, pushed him then one of them has kneed him in the back. (Its been happening a few days before my son told me) I didn't send him to school till I found out what was going on and was contacted by the safe guarding team saying because they had quite a few reports of him saying unkind things these lads took it in their own hands to get him.
School couldn't tell me their punishment but my son said they were in isolation for 1 day. My son was put in isolation for 3 days for breaking his behaviour contract for a second time for saying unkind things. I said to school ive heard kids saying things to him to which they said they cant really do anything if not in school which I dont believe for one minute it isn't as he was in tears the other night at them calling him sid the sloth all the time. Anyway just before hes broke up he found out all forms were changing and hes now been put in a form with one of the lads who kneed him. He was upset as he didn't want to be with him and has been moved from his only couple of friends (although I do think he needed to be moved from one of them as they are very silly together and do wind others up).
I kept him off yesterday as he was upset and contacted school by phone and told them he had been upset and not wanting to come and could someone call me back (I spoke to someone twice and asked them twice to call me) and also sent an email to head of year 7. No one called me back and no one replied to the email.

OP posts:
Brokenforsummer · 19/07/2025 07:17

The last day of term is very busy so I’m not surprised you didn’t get a call.

This all seems very drama lama. If his ex if being unkind then block them and the problem is solved. People being unkind outside of school then hang up and discuss with school staff before he goes and hits them.

Schools are like life hitting some doesn’t have the defence of he was calling me a name.

In September you need to ask for a meeting with head of year and Senco and ask for their advice. Are there any emotional regulation programmes he can do?

Pricelessadvice · 19/07/2025 07:22

His ex? He’s 11 for crying out loud.
He sounds very immature and like he might have brought a few of these problems on himself by his behaviour and name calling.
Actions have consequences.

Contact the school in September to discuss the situation. But maybe try to get him to grow up a bit over the summer.

healthyteeth · 19/07/2025 07:23

We home educators (& ex teachers) often say that school is the most unhealthy form of socialization there is for a child. That’s in response to the usual trope of ‘home ed kids don’t socialize’ 🙄

Anyway, this seems very true for your poor kid. I don’t have advice for you other than you need to advocate for him as much as you can as no amount of him being ‘silly’ deserves that level of bullying and violence:(

deckchaironnabeach · 19/07/2025 07:58

Pricelessadvice · 19/07/2025 07:22

His ex? He’s 11 for crying out loud.
He sounds very immature and like he might have brought a few of these problems on himself by his behaviour and name calling.
Actions have consequences.

Contact the school in September to discuss the situation. But maybe try to get him to grow up a bit over the summer.

This!

Liz1387 · 19/07/2025 12:53

He hasnt hit anyone he was pulled to the floor and kicked whilst on the floor ny a group of 3 boys. My son hasnt been violent to anyone but they have moved him into the form of the child who kicked him

OP posts:
Liz1387 · 19/07/2025 12:56

Ive spoke to him about this and said no one should be calling anyone one names but also hes been thrown to the ground and kicked and pushed over. But to say he basically deserves to be pushed to the floor and kicked by 3 boys whilst on the floor because he was calling them names back then Wow

OP posts:
RitaConnors · 19/07/2025 13:08

My eyes rolled right out of my head at ‘his ex’.

Anyway, the relationship with the school is in absolute tatters. Rightly or wrongly they think he’s a pain in the arse. He is unpopular with the other children and with the adults. I’d cut my losses and send him elsewhere.

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