Is it? Or am I just a raving bitch?

[marge2]

I'm almost 43 by the way. OK Life is a bit stressful. Usual work/kids juggling act. Not enough money, DH a git, Dss typical 4 and 6 year old boys. If they're not fighting, they're demanding. No more than millions of other women deal with.

My DS1 is rather a high maintenance character, lots of sibling rivalry, picks ( violently) on his brother, pretty disobedient over pretty much everything. but this has always been the case and I have usually been able to cope.

But recently I have been so down about it. I am at SCREAMING point ALL day long. Have been sitting here trying to work all morning just crying. The weekend starts tomorrow and I am dreading it. DS1 pushes my buttons like mad and we have descended into a horribly negative downward cycle of his being a horrible little sod and me raving and screaming at him. I keep trying to think what Supernanny would do and say - then I hate myself and feel sorry for Ds1. Try to find all sorts of things to be positive about and catch him being good, but then he kicks off again and I HATE him. I get SOO angry and can't control my feelings.

SOOO am I just a bitch? (I think I am) or is it more?

Sorry - I know this is too much info. Wrote it down to get it off my chest really.

I don't think it sounds like the menopause - just a very stressful time for you.

Is there any chance dh can take either ds1 out on his own this weekend to give you a break from him, or preferably take both boys out to give you time to yourself? Can dh manage his behaviour any better than you can?

No, sadly DH finds him just as much a nightmare as I do and also ends up screaming at DS1 Also DS1 seems to never want to go anywhere with DH and not me.

I get 2 hours to myself on a Saturday morning when I go and ride my horse, which is WONDERFUL however the kids play up when I go and DH sulks about it and I am made to feel guilty and as if he is doing me a huge favour by 'babysitting'. When this arramgement started the idea was that he would take the boys to the local football club on a Sat morning while I rode, but he just won;t take them. Why the hell not? Isn't it a fairly normal and usual thing for Dads to take boys to football on a Saturday?

I just want us to be a normal happy family.
Instead we are miserable and angry all the time.

I am just a miserable cow - I need to face it!

You are not a miserable cow - at least, it is not your fault if you are. You sound unsupported and in need of some help which makes you normal, not a miserable cow.

That said, 4 and 6 might be a bit young for football. If you can find some way to hang in there, you may find your dh enjoys being with his boys more when they are a bit older. My dh used to hate taking my children anywhere, but now takes at least one or two of them out nearly every weekend. And being boys, your boys will start to identify with their dad more than you in a couple of years time which means they want to spend more time with him (well, this happened to my boys anyway).

None of which helps you in the here and now. But it is good you get your time horseriding - keep that going no matter what games your dh plays - sulking indeed!

I hope someone else comes along with some better ideas than I have.

I feel your pain. My DS is extremely demanding too, and I'm pretty sure I'm in the peri-menopause. Not a good combination!

Luckily, DH does do loads of stuff with him, including football on Saturday AND Sunday, so I have no excuses

Is your DH sporty or into football? If not, I doubt he'll want to take him every Saturday. Maybe there is something else they could enjoy together?