Could menopause be causing this rage and would HRT help?

[Ihavenoideawhatmyusernameis]

I really need to get this out in a place where I’m hoping people understand
I’ve felt rage for weeks - I know why and I don’t like it - I hate myself and I think I’m losing my mind. Tonight after shopping I just lost my cool. While reversing out of my parking space the person behind me who was watching me, pulled his trolley out further behind the car meaning I couldn’t easily get out of the space. He did it deliberately, I could see him on my reverse cam. I’m giving you context but there is no excuse for what happened next 😩

I called him an ignorant dick. His wife called me an ignorant bitch and I just drove off. I’m an awful, awful person…but this isn’t me. I’m going to try and get a gp appointment tomorrow, I know I need something to help. Will HRT help?? I just want to feel like myself. I’ve felt rage for weeks, it’s getting worse and I don’t want to be like this. I should have just let it go. Please be kind…

just for added context I also have brain fog, joint pain, insomnia, itching literally everywhere even inside my ears! Dry throat, eyes and skin, I’m so tired, I have zero tolerance for anything and I don’t think I’ve cried in the last 10 years as much as i have in the last 4-6 weeks. Please tell me it’ll get better 😩😩

I was also the same before hrt. In the run up to my period I had irritation, then rage and a desire to be left alone. Then intense anxiety and then depression and crying. I’m now on hrt and it’s better. Im still really quite anxious but I have that anyway. I also had all the other symptoms

I was convinced they were all conspiring about me behind my back and purposely leaving me out of things and I did not react in a normal sensible adult way at all. It really wasn’t pretty.

I even had a massive meltdown at a friend’s wedding. DH was in the wedding party and I didn’t really know many other people so I sat alone for so much of the night that my brain went into proper paranoia overdrive and that combined with alcohol, I went into full Muffin-mode. It was so horrible and unbelievably embarrassing.

I was also convinced DH was off having an affair instead of going to work despite the fact he really was just going to work and as a nightshift bus driver he barely sees anyone at his work as he’s out on the bus for hours. I was driving myself totally demented and not sleeping to make sure he got home when he was meant to.

I’m honestly so lucky DH and my friends pushed me to go to the doctor (especially since I wasn’t going through just peri-menopause changes but I had a cancer that ended up being caught really early and having to come off HRT while that was dealt with led to even more chaos for a while). Thankfully I’m now cancer-free, I’m back on HRT and I also have antidepressants to help with other stuff I’ve been struggling with (mostly in relation to the cancer) and the old me is definitely coming back.

@Ihavenoideawhatmyusernameis this was me 18 months ago. Baring in mind I was just shy of 51, I didn’t correlate menopause to how I was!!

Inexplicable rage towards my husband, tried to quit my job on the spot, hated everyone and everything, anxiety through the roof, intense itching, skin condition ranging from hives to eczema (mostly face and neck), sweats, shakes, the list was endless.

HRT didn’t fix me overnight, I’d say more like 9 months going from minimal dose, and then up to 75mg patches to switching to gel to feel ‘normal’, whatever normal is ☺️. That together with mindfulness and taking myself off to bed when I’m not feeling great (as opposed to sitting in a huff about things).

200% HRT. Rage and anxiety disappeared, physical symptoms went and I feel myself again. For the person who still has the rage, it could either be that it is not soaking in to your skin properly (might need 10 mins), or you need more. If it's a patch rather than gel, try gel instead? Good luck

Sorry I’ve been absent - had a couple of days to reset. I’ve been prescribed HRT!! I’ll be able to collect it tomorrow. I’m so anxious about starting it though as selfishly I go to Rome in two weeks and I really don’t want to feel shitty/have a period etc. it’s sequential HRT/patches - reading about it, I think I should be ok though, right?

Just reading through everyone’s posts - thank you all for sharing your experiences, both positive and negative. I think overall, despite the challenges we have, it’s good to know there’s so much support out there from you all!

I was constantly furious for a while and HRT has really helped. I was a bit anxious about starting but had no side effects at all. Just a cooler (literally!) calmer, happer me. I hope it does the same for you