please tell me its normal and i can do something about it!!!!

[jesuswhatnext]

i,m perimenopausal and using the mirena, which the doctor recommended, (it is my 3rd one btw) i hve no trouble with bleeding/pain ect although i do get very hot at times, however, i have no sex drive at all, my dh has not complained but it is really beginning to worry me. when i can be 'bothered' it is really useless sex, i don't enjoy it and it hurts
we have been together for 12 years, dh is 10 years younger than me and we have always had a good sex life up to about 9 months ago. i have never had trouble climaxing and my dh is a kind considerate lover who i still fancy like mad!

what the bloody hell do i do???

Age???

signs of peri? More info needed.

gnd - im 46, doctor TELLS me im peri, although tbh am not sure myself quite what he means by that - however, i have thinning hair, hot flushes, mood swings (more so than i ever suffered with normal pmt)i just feel lethargic, bloated and actually pretty miserable, all my get up and go has got up and gone

im normally a very active positive person, i just feel that im struggling with getting older at the moment iyswim

any positive advice is more than welcome, even if it is a swift kick up the bum!

I am starting to be less interested in sex now, at 50. I feel better using positions where DH is behind me, so that he won't have to look at all my spare tyres! You may need some extra lubricant, and application of this can become part of the foreplay. Could you indulge in more 'hand jobs' for your DH if you can't cope with penetration sometimes? And have lovely cuddles afterwards?

Yes, I have loss of body hair, hot flushes and mood swings, and forgetfulness, but DH doesn't mind. (Last Sunday I forgot to cook any new potatoes for dinner, didn't realise until I was about to dish up the barbeque! We settled for toasted ciabatta with garlic butter instead!
Sometimes I have trouble just deciding what to cook for dinner.

I have noticed a distinct drop in hot flushes since taking soya capsules, I have been advised to go down the herbal route, due to my raised blood pressure.

JWN

I can recommend a brill book by my gynae- You change, Your choice by Michael Dooley. it has traditional and more alternative ways of helping yourself.

I am not really seeing him for meno, but something else- but he's a great dr and it's a good book.

ME- I am 53 and still having occasional periods. All was "normal" til 51.

I have had very few meno symptoms, mainly due i think to lifestyle- some very mild flushes for 3 weeks, and occasional night sweats.

Because of other health issues- a hyper sensitive bladder- (like IBS but bladder not bowel) I drink only water and herbal tea- no coffee or alcohol, I eat well and don't eat wheat or dairy due to allergy. So no junk food and all cooked from scratch.

I also walk 3 miles in the countryside up and down hills 4-5 times a week and have just got a personal trainer to do strength training.

I fee great, tbh. I AM vain, wear sunscreen 365 days of the year, make-up, decent hair cut and colour etc, and people think I am mid 40s. This is not me boasting- what I am saying is- DON'T GIVE IN/UP!!!

I also think it is important to keep your mind active, and keep looking forward to new things- I re-trained a few years back and have another string to my bow, career-wise. I work part time, free lance, as I'd rather have less money and be less stressed.

Just be positive- age is really an attitude- do all you can to keep fit and then enjoy life!

If you need HRT then try it- but there are good herbal formulations around too - one is Meno-Herbs- think it is from Victoria Health ( mail order.)

girlnextdoor - i think you are about to become the 'mumsnet menopause guru'

(i have to say your regime sounds a bit saintly for me!)

i did do the race for life about a month ago, in a respectable time, (30 mins)so am quite fit! i am also quite vain and am up for doing just about anything to keep looking resonably youthful etc - swear by good grooming, up-to date wardrobe etc.

i just wonder if after all the stress/crap general life shit that has happened over the last 25 years or so is catching up with me

just as life is moving to a realitvly stress free, money happy place, the old body is letting me down

i have an interesting job, great dd, lovely dh, nice home/car, good holidays, close friends - in fact im very lucky, just feel pyshicly (sp) bloody low and not in a position to moan to anyone in rl - afterall, on the face of it life is perfect.

sorry, just had a bit of a rant, i do think though that the sex problem is at the root of how i feel, it seems a part of me is suddenly missing iyswim and i need to fix it!

Why not talk to your GP about HRT and maybe remove coil? it's only a tiny bit of progesterone, but might make you moodier etc.

My dr used to be evangelistic about HRT but now like all drs says only if you really need it- but he would let me have it if i wanted it.

I don't want to be a meno guru- I want to be 21 again

I am not saintly at all either - my diet is a pain in the backside but I need it to keep my other health issues in check. The exercise- makes me feel good - maybe try to do more? My gynae- for what it's worth thinks exercise is as good as HRT for a lot of people.

JWN, I am 48 and just started HRT - it has definitely improved my sex drive (from nil to a bit) and my lack of energy. Without a doubt, some of that is hormonal - at least, it is for me.

That said, if you feel the last 25 years are catching up with you emotionally, how about giving yourself a break via a few counselling sessions? I have, and feel a lot lighter...which also helps the energy levels

Mind you, I have two small children (took years to achieve full term pg, so both dds were in my 40s) so energy levels and sex drive are bound to be compromised in my case

GND, I hear you on the exercise - running around after a toddler is not the same. I know I feel better when I swim regularly, but O GOD its so hard to get there most weeks, time-wise and energy-wise!

Elibean- interested in your thin bones- I have too- my gynae will not give me HRT for bones only as he says it is against recent thinking, and also the long term benefits on bones from HRT only lasts if you take ti for 10 years etc etc- after just 2 years your bones go back to where they were.

Have you thought about exercise? I have just got myself a personal trainer who comes once every 3-4 weeks and she has done a great set of strength training workouts for me to do at home. You can also get a great book - it's a flip-chart style-from the National Osteo. Society- if you want details I can leave them here.

Yes, I have thought about exercise a lot, but haven't been able to do it regularly yet - my youngest is 19 mos, and has been ill most of the winter. I can see by the end of this year, hopefully, things will be a lot easier - so regular exercise is part of my masterplan

I think my GP would have been ok with my taking hrt or fosamax type meds - I don't have osteoporosis as such, but the start of osteopaenia (thinning). Both she, my breast surgeon (never had a real problem, but had sore boobs so visited one), and a gynae I saw for something else all said they were fine with me taking hrt for under 5 years or till I hit 50, whichever came first.

sure- you are under 50 - I am not- I am over 50! The risk up til you are 50 is very low, as you'd normally have your own hormones anyway.

I am trying v. hard with my exercise- but it needs to be a routine. My exercise programme at home is only 30-45 mins , 4-5 times a week.

Personally, I would not touch Fosamax etc with a barge pole- too many side effects and it doesn't build new bone- it just stop sold bone leaving the bones- and some people think it means you bones are more liable to shatter as they are then composed of old bone, not living bone.