Does perimenopause bring an unsettling sense of clarity about life?

[ThatUmberCritic]

Does anyone else feel that peri is like the scales falling from their eyes ? Just a sort of horrible existential clarity about the world as well as personal life choices and relationships. ☹️ I want the scales back on my eyes please. I was happier with the scales. 😭

That is almost exactly how I felt about my life at that point- like a huge light had been shone into the corners of my life and everything was found to be lacking

Yes, but it’s had the opposite effect on me. I see things far more clearly and can appreciate all those things I took for granted in my youth.

It’s certainly a time of reflection in my experience. My realisation was that my life was ticking along to my husband’s agenda and dreams. Now I’m looking closely at what makes me happy and intend to do more of that.

Yes it has done exactly that for me and I have become much more selective about my relationships and feel a lot of compassion for my old self who self abandoned all the time for people who were not very invested.

It’s 100% a time of clarity and pain but ultimately peaceful reality

Agree absolutely, and unfortunately it has done nothing good for my anxiety, which has always been with me in one shape or another but has become more acute in peri.

I hope I get the scales back at some point, or at least find some sort of acceptance. Some older women seem very chilled out and content , not sweating the small stuff but also not suffering fools gladly- I’m hoping that’s how I’ll
end up.

It could be peri, or it could be that with age comes wisdom, and you've reached a point in life where you can see through all the bullshit and have had enough!

For me it was
Scales fall from eyes
Realise what bullshit I'd been tolerating
Had a good hard look at myself and my life
Found I could let go a lot of things that had been holding me back
Set new boundaries
Started looking after myself better
Relaxed
Found a new contentment

I wouldn't swap the new me for the old me not for a million pounds. But the journey here was bumpy and didn't happen without a lot of soul searching.

I don’t know about the scales but I was sometimes in such bad mood I didn’t have the time or inclination to be putting up with shit from people I didn’t care about. It has given me a sense of freedom and well being, I just say no to what I don’t care about.

Now, health going down has openned my eyes to the fact that life is not only short but that it can be even shorter than we think, so I just make the best of each day as I never know when th ex next thing will crack…

Yes, it has given clarity but in a good way. The most important thing I have been neglecting,

I also think it’s a life stage thing. You just reach a greater level of maturity. Peri/ menopause can play a part but I don’t think it’s the cause of it.

I suppose so yes.

Yes definitely this. My long term partner is messing me about and I've had enough. If he loved me he would be with me, so ultimatum time it is.

Thanks everyone . I’m glad I’m not alone. I am struggling a lot with this and particularly feelings of regret over all the many decisions that led me here, which can at times feel overwhelmingly sad .