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Menopause

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How do I understand menopause more?

5 replies

Userfridaynight · 09/05/2026 01:07

I'm 33 and I manage a women in her 50s that is currently going through menopause. I have supported her as much as I can (phone calls out of hours, referrals to OH, researched myself to give her help). I have included my people leader who is of a similar age to discuss as I can only discuss the topic as far as what Iv taught myself - my people leader has lived experience and is much better at conversation. That being said, my team member is on long term sick and refusing to deal with me. I have been advised that it is because I am too young to understand. I have tried to educate myself, does anyone have any advice as to how I can help her? Or if not her, others going forward. Thanks

OP posts:
spstchmu · 09/05/2026 02:32

I think you have a few separate issues.
For the employee you only need to listen to their experience as much as they wish to disclose and listen to the advice of oh/fit notes.
As for them refusing to deal with you because of your age? That's unprofessional and non negotiable. You're her manager.
Not sure what a people leader is.
And then in terms of wanting to learn more, lots of employers put on webinars and groups now. If not I would imagine you could find something similar online for free.

BreakingBroken · 09/05/2026 02:35

it's not really rocket science starting 8-10 years before the actual end of a woman's menses is the phase called perimenopause typically around 40 years of age. during these 8-10 years a woman's estrogen decreases the decreased estrogen can lead to all sorts of physical emotional and mental challenges.
each woman's symptoms are unique. some have few some have many some can be very debilitating (insomnia for example). once a women's menses stop for a period of 12 months she enters the phase called menopause.
are you too young to understand? it's kind of like explaining childbirth, it's hard to understand until you've been through it or even child rearing.
I would think this idea of blaming you for being too young is a bit of a piss take though.
I would reflect and see if maybe the real motive is, no longer wanting to simply go to work but wanting the pay check to keep rolling in.

spstchmu · 09/05/2026 02:38

But the caveat being, unless youre her gp, youre not there to help or advise her on her health. Understanding is good. But all you need to do is follow the advice of the doctor and occ health and your policies and give her some empathy and a safe space.

EBearhug · 09/05/2026 03:07

It's been quite difficult to miss corporate info on managing menopause the last couple of years or so. My employer is claims to be menopause friendly. We've had a couple of (voluntary) sessions about managing menopause.

I'm in my 50s. I have friends on HRT, friends whose symptoms have included anxiety that meant they couldn't drive at night, night sweats, hot flushes. I knew someone who committed suicide because of her menopausal symptoms. So it can be very serious. But I'm in my 50s, and other than irregular periods, I've not really had any symptoms, so I don't think I'd be any better than a woman in her 30s to talk about it.

But you (and I) can read up on how a woman can be protected at work etc, what adjustments can be made. What adjustments someone needs will depend on their symptoms. If someone has insomnia (something I can talk about at length, because it's been my body's default stress response since school,) you might be able to adjust start times, if they've had a bad night, or provide a desk fan for someone who has hot flushes, or let them leave their desk for an extra break. If it's causing joint pain and there's a physical aspect to their work, then maybe a change of duties might be possible.

It's going to depend on each woman and each workplace. You can't let a teacher come in an hour later if she has a class to teach, or at least not without revamping the whole timetable. But it's quite easy in my IT support department.

The TUC has some info - https://www.tuc.org.uk/menopause-work
As does ACAS - https://www.acas.org.uk/menopause-at-work
My union also has menopause information, so if you're in a union, you could ask them, and HR, occupational health. Some workplaces have a menopause policy, so you should know what's in that if your employer has one. (Previous employer said, not needed, it's covered by other policies around employee health conditions.)

Her thinking you're too young is just stupid. I've got a team member with a chronic gastric condition. I don't need to suffer it myself to be able to agree reasonable adjustments. He needs to tell me what the effects are that affects work and what he needs, which has mostly been time off for appointments and when he has a flare up, the ability to just go to the loos as needed, even in the middle of meetings (which could be an agreement a woman with flooding perimenopausal periods might want.)

Plus there's no harm reading up on what menopausal symptoms might be, so you'll be better prepared yourself, when the time comes.

Managing menopause - Menopause at work - Acas

Advice for employers on how to manage the effects of menopause on staff and why it's important.

https://www.acas.org.uk/menopause-at-work

JinglingSpringbells · 09/05/2026 06:55

If the person you manage is on long term sickness leave for menopause symptoms, surely that is for HR to manage- not you.

One query- are you a woman or a man, asking this?

I too don't know what a 'people leader' is. It sounds like some ghastly gender-neutral term someone's thought of.
Are you in the UK?

If this employee is having such bad symptoms that she can't work, she has to involve her GP and consider the various treatments that are available, whether that's HRT or other meds, or lifestyle measures.

It's not your role to suggest that but there must be someone in your company who can do that?

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