Tips for shaking off the ‘chased by a tiger’ feeling at 3am

[WhatNextImScared]

I’m 44 in a couple of weeks and definitely in peri but symptoms still wax and wane. My luteal phase seems to be worst.

I am just getting over a migraine and a uti so feeling awful generally but once again awake at 3am feeling shaky and anxious as if something scary has happened. Sometimes I will have intense dreams but this feeling happens even if there’s no dream, or a good dream. It feels very hormonal. Reminds ne of when I took a pill that didn’t suit me once.

I get this regularly now. Once I’m awake at 3am I can struggle to get back to sleep (and end up on here - not good due to sleep hygiene!)

Does anyone further down this journey have tips about how to shake off that feeling that you’ve just been chased down a hill by a sabre toothed tiger and calming your whole system down at 3am? I tend to just get up, go to the loo and make a herbal tea and drink water, then try to resettle but sometimes it takes hours.

No advice but I’m experiencing the exact same! Horrible dream about a terrorist attack and now I’m wide awake, worrying about everything, with a headache and feeling sick. Just posted on another thread about how hard I’m finding it to convince the doctor to put me on HRT.

Sorry you’re in the same position. It’s not good. I haven’t discussed HRT yet. I was hoping to make it to 45 so the NICE guidelines would be on my side . I’m on the Mirena but it isn’t working for me (had it over 18 month and still bleeding for over half the month every month, albeit lightly now) and I have this funny idea that maybe it’s that which is making the anxiety worse. I am planning to get it removed.

I’m also feeling sick and headachey. I’ve been getting lots of migraines too (and am just getting over a uti). My poor body needs a break from itself!

It is awful being this age! I feel like I just want to run away and live in a little cottage like Snow White with talking animals and zero stress!! I just keep imagining myself a few years down the line with HRT that actually works for me and being able to cope with life again.

I’m here now! I’ve found magnesium glycinate helps and I think it’s time to give up alcohol. With the fear, I get up and do a yin, or I listen to an audiobook. There are adult bedtime stories on Spotify which can be quite soothing even if I can’t get back to sleep.

I have fantasies about this too. My youngest is only 5 and I work too. It’s hard to keep going some weeks. I’m trying my best to make time for myself, get regular exercise in and eat well. I’m not even sure if HRT will work for me. I’m pretty sure my Mirena is making everything worse - I think I’m progesterone intolerant. I’m planning to get it removed and see how I get in first.

This worked for me... it calmed the anxiety and I could sleep peacefully again. I tried lots of other recommendations but this was the only one I found effective (it for a couple of weeks for any noticeable difference).

https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/schwabe-pharma-karmamood-max-strength-425mg-tablets-60083527

Extra care needed if used in conjunction with medication as it can interact with it. I found pharmacists were well aware and could advise.

I was initially prescribed anti anxiety meds by my GP as I was waking repeatedly every night with anxiety attacks. It actually made things worse because the meds made me so drowsy. I had terrible anxiety attacks and nightmares in my sleep and had an awareness of it, but I couldn't wake up..it seemed terrifying at the time. It got to the point where I was too scared to try to go to sleep.

Can’t help as my awake is due to new meds, but, strangely, a cup of tea, with caffeine actually helps me get back to sleep fairly well. In the past switching to another bedroom helped, as did keeping a rolled up duvet cover beside the bed to unroll and lie on cool bedding if I felt I was over heating.

What I find helpful is naming the sensations for what they are and acknowledging that they’ll pass.

“Ah yes, this is just my hormones, nothing more. My body is flooded with adrenaline right now but if I just relax this will pass. I am safe, this is just my body responding to biological changes in my blood chemistry. I can just let these feelings wash over me. There’s no danger here.”

I know that sounds a bit trite and shit, but recognising them for what they are and trying to detach yourself mentally can be really effective.

Years ago I did an exercise with a therapist who talked about my overblown anxiety response. We came up with this scenario of this very old security guard who’s half-blind and every time he hears a noise he jumps up out of his chair, starts waving his stick around and shouts “tigers, tigers!! Beware!!” And the strategy to talk him down is much the same as I described just now - reassuring yourself that you’re safe, there are no tigers here, and that you can relax. And then picture your ancient security guard as sitting back down and going back to sleep.

I’m on anti anxiety meds but I still get breakthrough anxiety. These mental exercises help me to allow the feelings to pass.

Sending 💐 anxiety is really shit.

HRT for anxiety & insomnia. Also vaginal Oestrogen for preventing recurrent UTIs.

Take a look at the Balance Menopause website for lots of information, factsheets, guidance and podcasts. Also how about how to navigate & discuss HRT with your GP. Info on progesterone intolerance etc also.

NICE guidelines say to treat the symptoms.

Magnesium bisglycinate works for me

Thanks. I’m definitely going to ask for vaginal oestrogen. I’m going to have my mirena taken out and assess my symptoms and then ask for treatment. When I think about it, most of my anxiety symptoms really ramped up after I had it fitted.

Thank you, this is really useful.

i am an old hand with anxiety too, particularly health anxiety, so anything body focused is really tricky

You have described the feeling so well.

I do breathing exercises to lower my heart rate.

I keep my room dark so no tea making or anything like that but I do put on a playlist of rain sounds. That helps me a lot.

And I pray.

My mirena took a while to settle but now it has and I feel much better. I also have oestrogen gel but i use a low dose at the moment. I am 45.

I hated my Mirena at first but we are friends now. I hope yours settles soon or you get it taken out if that is what you want.

I have been waking up in the night like this as well. One thing I sometimes try to do is try to calm myself in the way you would try to calm a baby. Hugging/stroking myself, talking to myself like you'd talk to an upset baby, etc.

I have been listening to Radio 3 Unwind since 3 am, slept through some of that at least.

If you’re able to tolerate heat, a weighted blanket might help.

Queue up a podcast or audio book, so you can pop in an AirPod and click it on without lifting the phone and putting light in your eyes, but still give your head a good distraction.

Solidarity, it's horrible. I was getting 3am anxiety..stress at work and menopause. HRT has really helped. I found myself awake from 3 to 5am scrolling, writing notes, emailing myself. One thing I said to myself was stop all that so i would go to the loo, have some water and then literally be as still as possible and I would go back to sleep. Almost had to train my body. That doesn't always work but I knew I definitely wasn't getting back to sleep if I was on Mumsnet

I have all different kind of wake ups, some like this, some not. I rate Your Ticket to Snoozeville sleep hypnosis podcast, and find exercise is helpful to reduce wakes.

I’ve recently been recommended, to reduce cortisol, doing bilateral things to connect both halves of the body/brain before bed, like folding laundry or knitting, anything requiring both hands, and doing eye rolls from side to side, diagonally and in circles. And making the out breath longer than the in breath. All a bit odd, but worth a stab.

It’s also worth looking at diet as cortisol and blood sugar seem to interact. Reducing sugar all day, and looking at what/when you eat before bed to keep blood sugar stable at night. Recommendations vary on what to eat when, but there’s lots of ideas out there to experiment with.

I hope you get a better night tomorrow.

Came on to say I had this and starting HRT patches and a pill progesterone worked, but not straight away, I also take an anti histamine nightly and magnesium.

id get started in the HRT patch asap as it can take a while to find what’s right for you and age won’t be an issue if you do your research and ask directly for what you want, I found the gel spiked anxiety, I’d get the coil out for you try different forms of progesterone and get the UTIs sorted with oestrogen.

But also to add sometimes we have high histamine at this stage of life, take note of what you are eating and doing on the evenings these dreams happen, red wine, fermented food etc, read up on the histimine diet and check, and take a antihistamine before bed nightly if you see the link.

Google vagal nerve exercises a Huberman has an evidenced based list.

secondly, I had to come off hrt due to breast cancer and I’m on tamoxifen, both of which causes menopausal symptoms.

I found the podcast menopause and cancer very helpful as it’s mostly the things that help that aren’t hrt - there’s specifically two on breathing exercises (butyeko) which is also well evidenced. This is a free app to teach the techniques. It’s extremely good for reducing anxiety in the moment. https://buteykoclinic.com/pages/free-breathing-app

i think the biggest thing that helped was slowly improving my cardio level via sit training. I’m going through a bad phase at the moment through stress and getting out of the habit so am dialling it back and starting again.

I had this alot until recently - manic dreams, would wake up with heart pounding and lie awake for hours. HRT didn't really help with this. I looked up some techniques and came across a few that helped.

• reassuring myself: saying to myself that I'm ok, I'm safe, all my loved ones are fine etc, concentrate on the feel of the mattress, breathe slowly
• using the 'worry window' technique
• I found a YouTube channel called Therapy in a Nutshell and found the ACT techniques suited me best

I had to reduce my days at work as couldn't cope with the lack of sleep which at least meant I didn't have the panic of trying to get back to sleep before work...

I can’t take hrt due to medical history but I’ve had chemotherapy induced menopause at 39 and find venaflaxine really helpful for sleeping through. It’s not a big dose recommended for menopause and also helps with hot flushes 😊

I started HRT at 44. It really helped with anxiety. Also progesterone intolerant and eventually found that Mirena worked best for me as progesterone part of HRT , it’s slow and steady rather than taking pills….

i went to gp with night sweats, headaches, anxiety….and told I was peri and HRT likely to help.