How do you know it’s not stress or just in your head?

[Junobug]

I’m nearly 42. I’m pretty sure I have had perimenopause symptoms for the past 2 years to the point that my husband has asked me to go and speak to the gp because it is effecting my day to day life, but I keep convincing myself it’s just because I’m too busy and stressed.

symptoms include; short, erratic cycles, hot flushes (but with no pattern at all, I can go months without and then get them all the time) migraines before my period, pms type symptoms- I have a couple of days of thinking everyone hates me and then I literally switch to hating everyone around me, I have no patience- everyone and everything annoys me, I have no energy or drive, I’m anxious about silly things like driving, I’m not sleeping well so tired all the time, weight gain- I’ve put on 10lb since Christmas without changing my diet but exercising more.

I genuinely feel like I’m just not me anymore. I don’t recognise myself in the mirror. I feel like I want to cry just writing this. But I also have 4 children, have just moved house and started working more so it could just be life.
I had a blood test which just showed low iron so I have been working on that.

So how do I know if it’s perimenopause or just stress and life in my 40s?

Thanks for reading my moan.

Its hormonal. You dont get hot flushes from "stress".

short, erratic cycles, hot flushes (but with no pattern at all, I can go months without and then get them all the time) migraines before my period, pms type symptoms- I have a couple of days of thinking everyone hates me and then I literally switch to hating everyone around me- all of these are textbook hormonal.

I am sure that prior to age 42 you must have had some kind of stress at one point or another - did it manifest as the above? I suspect not. Sorry- I know its shit but HRT makes a huge difference

It sounds like perimenopause to me - not an expert but just from my what I know of my own experience and my friends. What stops you from going to the doctor? I would start with that.
I had symptoms for years before understanding what it was. HRT has really helped me feel like myself again.

@Junobug good morning. The blood tests may not be very accurate as our hormones fluctuate. Is your period still regular or is it erratic? I would definitely see a sympathetic doctor if you have one. Peri menopause can be difficult but if you can get help please take it x I suffered with peri for a few years , bow post menopausal x good luck x

Yes could be Pm but please do cut yourself some slack - 4 kids, a move and working. I need to go and lay down just reading that. That alone would
make me want to snap at anyone!

I would say peri - experience the same & went to docs - 3rd time going asked for HRT as couldn't take anymore! Its massively helped but still not the person I was. Book an app asap!

In my experience peri and menopause (and I’m now on tamoxifen which has stopped my periods and possibly put me into suspended meno state) decreases your resilience to external stressors.

it’s not just that though, HRV decreases with age. Ability to sleep, digest, build muscle, recover from illness, drinking alcohol etc all start to become more challenging in your 40s.

I’ve found I have to do all the things that keep my hrv up. Using a fitness watch has helped a lot.

fluctuating and erratic hormones add an extra stress to the body.

My experience of menopause is fluctuations not consistent symptoms. I’ll go through phases of no sweats and flushes and then get 6 weeks of it.

It seems to happen a few weeks after a period of high output/ stress.

Thank you. It’s really helpful for you all to validate that I’m not making it up.
I will ring the gp. I’ll put it on my to do for tomorrow. I think I’m just so worried that they will brush me off and tell me that I’m too young.
@WarriorN the HRV thing is interesting. I definitely feel like the symptoms to fluctuate, but it’s nice to know that it normal.

A good Gut microbiome diet is the other thing that’s helped me. Zoe study found it helped improve symptoms by 30% for women on hrt.

Hrt is great but not a quick fix and some of us can’t take it. There are many other ways to support this phase.