Maladaptive daydreaming and perimenopause

[tinaabbot]

I didn’t even know this had a name or wasn’t what everyone did until a few years ago, but for all my life I have had fantasy storylines running in my head . Long drives, falling asleep, anytime I had nothing to do but my brain needed an activity.
It was especially important for falling asleep. Stopped me spiralling into worrying about nothing.

Anyway, in the last while its like that bit of my brain turned off. The stories are gone. I did also develop horrible anxiety for a while, but thankfully that resolved with HRT.
The thing is, sleep is now my issue. I tend to read until I fall asleep, otherwise my brain starts whirring and starts into all sorts of catastrophic scenarios.

Has anyone experienced similar? I’m assuming it’s a hormone thing, but I miss my imagination and I need something to get me to fall asleep

Oh my goodness- I had no idea it was a thing, but yes I have lost my daydreaming. I used to do it all the time and it is like the ability has switched off. When I try and force it just doesn't work like it used to- it is hard to explain.

Is there a way to fix it?! I miss it.

Yes. I also miss it. I try to instigate it but it stalls and won't flow.

Instead I'm back to worry spirals. Boo!

@ThisisbatshitI miss it too, I’ve tried to force it as well but it goes nowhere.
It’s slightly reassuring that it’s not just me, so maybe there is a fix 🤞

You too @ohfuckrucksack!I’m eagerly awaiting someone with a solution.

Try something like the Calm app it has sleep stories on it or music

Oh, yes! I thought they'd stopped because I'd started seeing my DP, and my mind was all on being newly in love, thay was 6 years ago though. But they haven't even come back when I've been going through some stressful times, which is when I used to have them the most. No wonder I've been reliving all my past mistakes and embarrassments so much recently!

Like you I used to use them to go to sleep. Sometimes I play music and concentrate on singing along in my head, that can help. Reading is good, as long as I'm completely ready for bed and only have to switch off the lamp. I also sleep better on days I've exercised.

I did this as a child, I was bullied terribly at school and quite lonely so I’d like to put on some music when I got home and drift away into a fantasy world, usually while pacing around or rocking from side to side and I could do it for hours and hours.
I stopped when I moved in with my now husband as it just wasn’t appropriate and I wouldn’t have wanted to do it in front of anyone and then along came children so now it’s been almost 20 years since I’ve done that.
I did still do it on my walk to and from work though which was an hour each way but since the menopause I found the noise just stopped and I’m finally present.
I think it was an escape from childhood bullying, coupled with intense masking from adhd which wasn’t diagnosed until 43.
It was a kind of self soothing stim that pulled me away from reality and in the end I preferred it to real life so found it very difficult to stayed focused in school/work as real life would rudely interrupt my daydreams.
It was highly addictive and I’d lose hours procrastinating about stopping in a minute and getting on with what I should be, sometimes I’d be up all night.
I actually don’t miss it and age has made me regret the rocking side to side crossed legged on the floor because my knees never forgave me for that.

Gosh I relate to a lot of this. Both the use of daydream as an ADHD procrastination and as a soothing way to get to sleep away from life worries. And yes, it's harder to access now.

I still try and force it with some success -am on hrt.

I noticed a similar thing with the way I consume music too. I'm less.... Voracious? It bothers me more.

I honestly didn’t think anyone would reply to this, but it seems more common than expected. Another peri symptom no one warned us about.

@xyandz, it sounded like you had a tough time as a child but hopefully you are in a happier place now.

For me it was more like a book in my head, and I miss it. I’ve tried calm, music, meditation and nothing works really. I’ll live in hope of a way to get my daydreams back.

I’ve never had this but I love the way you all talk about it and I’m so sorry that you’ve lost such a special ability. I hope you feel a bit better that at least you’re not alone

I hadn't even realise I lost it til reading this post. I did it loads a a child and teen and if honest they later became fantasy thoughts but a happy place to go. It weirdly came back really strong in COVID lockdown time and I really enjoyed storylines in my head that placed out over a year or two.
I started to fall asleep more quickly and realised I don't do this anymore but I miss it. Now wondering if I can?
Thinking doom scrolling in my phone has made me loose it but surely we can all have that back?

I am Peri-menapausal and struggling in lots if ways currently. Hoping to start HRT this week and it be a magic switch for everything..
What if it's not! 😬
Need to get back to happy daydreaming I think.
I am wondering if in fact I am ADHD and just coping worse but don't Thu k u had childhood traits.

That’s such a lovely comment 🥰

Oh my goodness, this is also me! I could have written this post - and almost have a few times, except I thought no-one else would know what on earth I was talking about.

I have always had an enjoyable 'inner life', same as you OP, and used it in the same way - to fall asleep, or entertain myself on a boring journey etc. I had a variety of different storylines and other worlds to escape to - and I would say it peaked around the time of covid lockdowns too, like @Reginaphalangeeeee has said. And also around the same time I was OBSESSED with listening to music and certain tracks over and over again - a bit like @NeonSigns. I had whole soundtracks to certain stories in my head.

I do wonder if it was quite intense then because it was my mind's coping mechanism during the pandemic - a way of distracting me and preventing me from becoming anxious about what was happening in real life. But I also wonder if it was connected to a last-ditch rush of hormones, because since then the ability to daydream has dwindled, much like my remaining reserves of oestrogen 😩

I miss it so much. I want it back. I'm on HRT and sometimes I occasionally get the feeling the ability is somewhere in there, just out of reach, but it's never really returned. Yet. I'm saying yet because I really hope that it will. For me it was never truly 'maladaptive', just a nice way to pass time and use my imagination. I'm a writer and I was just starting to experiment with using these creative thoughts to write some fiction... I'm still trying but it just doesn't come as naturally when I'm not fuelled by those fantasies.

So thank you for sharing OP - I'm so glad I'm not alone either.