Feel like i have alienated everyone

[Starlight7080]

Since turning 50 i feel I have manged to ruin my relationships with everyone I know. Family and friends. I have grown apart from them all and taken them for grated to a certain extent. And just figured they would still be around even though I have made little effort with them. I have lied (more white lie) i have avoided or made excuses to stay in my own little bubble .
I have not done things I said i would. My works life has completely gone downhill. I have no interest or enthusiasm for it .
My husband is suffering as I am quite distant and have made decisions he doesnt agree with or atleast would have liked to be included in.
I just seem to get everything wrong .
And now I feel very shameful and full of guilt and dont know how to repair all these fractured relationships/friendships.
Anyone else feel like they had it all sorted until over the course of a year or so just completely changed?
I also made stupid financial decisions that didnt pan out. And although over a few months I can fix it and it have no longterm effect. It did upset my husband.
I have become reckless to a degree.

Hi Starlight 7080,

I am sorry I don't have any solutions for you but just wanted to respond and let you know that you are not alone.

I am sure that you will be able to rebuild relationships and will find understanding if you can explain a little of how out of character you are feeling right now.
I am feeling very strange too, like every past mistake is coming back to haunt me and I feel crushing guilt and shame about things that happened over 20 years ago and werent all my fault.

It is a very very odd time and I will certainly be trying to educate my young aduot daughters about this as was never told anything about the emotional ups abd downs and feelings of not being yourself. I was looking out for hot flushes and bight sweats not a complete personality transplant😅

With regards to reckless decisions, I no longer trust myself there either and run everything past DH first. It might sound like being subservient but I honestly feel like I need a second rational adult opinion before going ahead with purchases, plans and decisions.

Are yoy on hrt or taking anything to support you.

Sending hugs and hope it feels better soon

I feel like this too. I'm 49 and on HRT not sure how much it's helping though. I'm also on Prozac and I'm not sure if it's helpful in some ways as although it can help mood it can add to the "don't care" feeling

I keep speaking my mind more and falling out with people. But I'm not sure if I really mind. Maybe they needed to be told.

I was helping with MIL but she's annoyed me so much I've told her not to call me but DH in future.

I wouldn't normally be so abrupt