I feel so monumentally shit most of the time.

[frenetically]

I’m 53, 53 in August.

I am still having regular periods, first 3 days have to wear night time protection and every time I move I’m gushing fresh clotty blood. Period lasts about 5 days.

I’ve been keeping a bit of a symptom diary.

First two days of period I get a low grade constant headache, adding to this I’ll get joint and awful back pain. I’m so incredibly tired, tearful and low. So at least 5 days there when I’m feeling pretty crap.

Period stops and I feel slightly better but with each day then onwards my sleep is awful. I get about 4 hours at best, laying awake aching and uncomfortable for most of the night. Alternating feeling too warm then cold.

My guts are constantly not right. I get stomach aches a lot, mainly loose stools, lots of burping and I can also be incredibly windy. Any wind pains hurt my bowels so much.

I seem to ovulate early, this creates lots of anxiety, I’m shaking, more poor sleep, palpitations, urgent loose stools. I clench my teeth which can further set off headaches. I smell smoke all the time. My upper arms itch.

My joints ache here and there all through the month, backaches can flare at any time. I’m just so tired, I have no interest in doing anything at all.

Work is just about killing me, I manage a team of 9 and there’s not enough hours in the day to do everything. I have to make lists and often am setting reminders at 3am when I can’t sleep and my mind is racing.

I feel a bit better on the run up to my period but I’m never 100%. And then after about 27 days it all starts again.

I’ve tried HRT, after a few days of oestrogen I get tinnitus and I’m shaking with anxiety. It made me feel worse.

im so fed up, please tell me that I’ll start to feel better once my periods stop altogether.

This sounds like hell I am so sorry. I’m not an expert but have you tried nutrition/diet changes? It might help with energy levels and stomach issues. I know a few people our age who can’t digest processed sugary food or do better on a gluten free diet. Just kinder to their body, I suppose?

My periods are almost negligible now and I hate to tell you I’m still struggling with lack of sleep, poor quality sleep, exhaustion, itchy skin, memory problems…. The list goes on .

At work do you have a sympathetic manager? I wonder if you could temporarily (afford to) reduce your hours or if they could make some adjustments to help you get through all this. If it was a 25 year old with mental health - they wouldn’t just plod on would they! They’d be at the doctors and taking time off sick.

Hi OP I would recommend:

• see a doctor about gastrointestinal symptoms. Not everything is menopause and whilst I’m not suggesting anything serious, your stomach issues might be easily treated

• Mirena coil stopped my periods so I haven’t had one since I was 30 (16 years ago). You don’t have to suffer periods, there are options

Sorry things are tough right now, I hope things improve soon for you.

Sending out solidarity, I could have written this post myself!

I'm 50 and I feel awful most of the time and I'm on HRT. I've tried many different types and even stopped for a while. Nothing seems to help.

I've got no magic wand I'm afraid and if I did I'd wave it in your direction! Just a virtual hug and support 💐

Did you have a review of the HRT? It can take a few months to get the right combination and dosage etc and the doctor or nurse practitioner (mine is a menopause specialist) should make alterations to suit you better

Hi wow that sounds horrible, I'm so sorry.

My best advice is around how you care for your body and how healthy it is right now I suppose, including your emotional life and needs.

Are you taking supplements like menopace?
And magnesium for sleep?

Are you overweight?
Are you exercising?

Are you chronically pissed off by anything - work, kids, husband, mental load, not living as you wish you could?

Thanks all.

I don’t drink alcohol.
I eat a reasonably balanced diet, but probably too many carbs. Love a couple of biscuits or piece of cake with a cuppa after my evening meal.
Very little exercise, I come home from work and am like a zombie on the sofa all evening.
Go to bed around 9pm.
Home life is fine, lovely DH, kids adults and working and healthy. Lovely home and no money worries.

Ive had a lot of bereavements over the past 10 years, losing my parents, beloved grandmother, aunty and work colleague. Each time I’ve just got on with life.

I have a young male manager who will not make life easier and it would be seen as a real issue if I told him I needed to reduce hours. I’m trying to stick as much as possible into my pension anyway, I’m just constantly thinking of how I can afford to stop or reduce my hours.

I hardly feel well. Always a pain somewhere on my body, head, neck, abdomen, hips, back, knees take your pick.

I said to DH in the car yesterday that I hope there is no afterlife, I don’t want to do this again. At the moment (tail end of my period so probably hormones) that what is the point of life.

I did go back to GP and switched from gel to patches. After a week I was beside myself with pain on the side I’d applied the patch, adrenaline rushes and no sleep.

I have definitely found that, if I don't move my body, it literally locks up in pain. We are not meant to be sedentary and there is a cost to it if we are. It might be the same for you? Why not try a ten minute yoga at home and see if your body aches less afterwards?

I'm sorry you feel so awful.

For the last few years I've also found I feel jittery and awful during ovulation. Before starting HRT I found the good bit of my month was after ovulation but before my period.

I'm on HRT and I have found it better, but only once I started double the normal dose of progesterone (utrogestan) continuously. My reason for using it continuously was migraine related, but I have felt noticeably better since then.

I know people usually hate the progesterone part of HRT and love estrogen, but I've found once I settled on it, the progesterone suited me. It's made me feel more grounded, although sadly it did not fix the joint and back pain. Physio has helped that a bit.

I had that awful jittery anxiety that correlates with times when estrogen surges (kept a diary) it did get worse initially on hrt (50 evorel and cycling progesterone 200mg night) but after 3 months I had more good days and things smoothed out. It’s so hard to ride out the symptoms though.

Daily feel like a rollercoaster of symptoms. Guess its the fluctuations that are the pain in the arse.

What about going on a very low patch like the .25 and slowly moving up? Some people have success like that. I read our receptors for oestrogen turn off and it can take time for the body to use exogenous estrogen.

It’s hard though and I feel for everyone going through it, I had to leave my job! Currently getting better but so hard. All the best op.

Get yourvitamin d levels checked.
Im going through perimenopause. Life became so horrrendous with anxiety it felt unbeaeable.
Had a blood test turned out very low on vitamin d. Been on a month now and anxiety plus joint pain startimg to ease

Hi,

It is horrible. I know that lots of little suggestions can seem really trivial and annoying, but I found making many tiny adjustments helped. That peri-menopause joint ache is awful. It does pass. But it used to keep me up at night. I read somewhere that bananas help. I started eating one every other day and the joint ache massively reduced.

Can you start taking painkillers the day before your period starts and switch every two hours between ibuprofen and paracetamol to keep the pain in check? A nurse once told me the best way to use painkillers is to prevent the pain from ever taking hold, so at the faintest twinge of a headache or period pain, start taking them until you know you are usually through the worst.

Also, at that time of the month eat lots of anti-inflammatory foods: mild curries with lots of turmeric and ginger and garlic, spinach and tomatoes. Roast kale. Almonds and blueberries and cinnamon with greek yoghurt or porridge. Try to plan quieter days at that time of the month, with long baths and trashy films or novels rather than anything too exhausting.

Some gentle stomach soothers like Gaviscon or tums might help. Take a gentle iron supplement, magnesium and Vitamin B complex every day. And Vitamin D spray.

Thank you. I’m already taking vitamin D, have been for a while. Also taking NMN and collagen.

I don’t drink very much at all, tend to cook whole foods, not a lot of processed stuff or ready meals. Probably too much sourdough bread though. It has been suggested that it could be gluten or dairy. I feel that my body is always inflamed. I’m always bloated, burping, passing wind. Currently my back is very painful, I’m just fed up with always feeling under par.

I feel you were misinformed about starting the HRT - you really have to give it time

It took months for me to get it right but I’m now feeling amazing when I was frankly suicidal before

I feel it would definitely be worth trying again

I had a coil fitted to stop my very heavy bleeding. I’m 53 too.

Oh OP, I could have written those symptoms alongside another 20 more. I get tinnitus gingivitis, inflammation, dry eyes and vulva, thinner hair, my mouth started to feel all odd a few weeks ago as it's become dryer, my joints ache so much, and my anxiety is increasing with random panic attacks every week.

Oh, and last week the dentist told me a few teeth were loose. Great (!!!)

I've also had multiple other health problems over the past decade, and had a head injury and post concussion syndrome before being injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic prescribed for severe insomnia and anxiety. It gave me a neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia and it's utterly shite.

Life is precious but sodding hard. I understand, OP. I actually find music helpful at times, but it is all temporary distractions from feeling crap most days. I was very suicidal a few years ago when my movement disorder started, and now I've had 6 years of being perimenopausal, I'm getting back into the despair.

HRT might exacerbate my movement disorders symptoms, so I'm terrified in some ways to try it.

Sending hugs and solidarity. 😞❤️