Perimenopause at 43?

[23BD]

Hi I’ve read tonnes of posts and threads about perimenopause in an attempt to try and work out if that’s what is going on with me, but I thought I’d ask about my specific symptoms.

I’ve only just turned 43 but have been struggling for about 6 months. I have still very young children and life feels like an uphill battle.

Main problems are horrendous rage episodes (never directed towards the kids, just get so angry with my husband about tiny things), worse than ever anxiety and for the first time in my life a feeling of being really down and flat. I’ve always been incredibly anxious but quite upbeat, now my whole life feels joyless. I had a brief period the other day of feeling really happy and I thought oh my god this is how I used to feel constantly.

I have super sore and stiff joints (cannot walk if been sat down for a while), horrendous and persistent mouth ulcers, no interest in sex and dryness, I’m permanently hot with a bright red face but above all else I’m exhausted. I could (if able) nap for hours every afternoon. I can’t do that obviously but it feels like beyond usual mum fatigue.

I suppose I don’t know if I’m just getting older and need to get a grip or it’s genuine perimenopause.

Any advice or thoughts welcome. Thank you.

This can all be linked to being perimenopausal.

I’m a little older than you, and I started having a lot of the symptoms you list around the age of 40yrs old. Please note, a blood test to diagnose perimenopause isn’t always conclusive, as our hormones fluctuate so much during our cycles. You can be perimenopausal, but your blood results will say you aren’t (which happened to me, but I know my body and I recognise the changes). Quite often, my understanding is that professionals go by symptoms and not blood results.

This could definitely be perimenopausal. Have you asked your doctor to check your FSH levels?

Yes! Its the weird combo with of aching joints.

I started the same age as you with indescribable tiredness and feeling shit. Took a year to go the GP who declined me HRT incorrectly. I was 44. She even asked the menopause clinic who told to prescribe me HRT. Tried to offer me SSRI and a clonidine which made me feel I was going to die. Symptoms got worse. I Read up and researched a lot. Asked to speak with the menopause specialist at the surgery.

she apologised. She had no idea why it happened. Anyway I started on the standard treatment which is Transdermal Patch and two weeks of micronised progesterone day 14-28.

after three months my mood got worse and I was prescribed SSRI and now feel like a new person. No hip pain!! No morning leg aches!not neck sweat and so on!

So I suggest read up, Track your cycles accuracy I use my Garmin. Take supplements- she said this will help anyway- vit d+K2, iron, b12, zinc, ashwanganda, collagen, biotin, magnesium. Menopause matters is a great help. Read the NICE guidelines

blood tests - hormones (limited use though as they fluctuate through the cycle rarely used for diagnosis but can see if anything crazy out of whack ) b12, vit d, and iron and HBA1c. Write it all out and present your case. If you want HRT that is.

📢MAKE SURE YOU SPEAK TO THE SPECIALIST GP 🚨

My peri started at 42, So it could be.
However, all the symptoms you describe could also be thyroid issues, low iron, low Vit D, low folate/b12. And you can be symptomatic in the low end of normal range for many deficiencies. Iron, for example, needs to be towards the 100 level for many women not to experience symptoms, but can be marked ‘normal’ as low as 20.

My peri started at 40. All the symptoms you describe and more.
However - I also (previously) struggled with the symptoms you describe when my children were toddlers. Rage / irritability / loss of libido / exhaustion / marital sniping / poor sleep / anxiety / low mood etc can all be signifiers of stress during a v demanding life phase.
Being in your 40’s with v young children sounds incredibly exhausting, so I’d guess it’s at least partly due to that.

I do worry that we’re overly pathologising women’s increasingly stressful lives by attributing it all to hormones. It smacks of the new ‘hysteria’ or ‘wandering womb’ of the Victorian age and is a useful way to ignore the social and domestic demands placed on women at ages when they previously would’ve had their children fly the nest.

It’s maybe worth self-refering to your local NHs Talking Therapies to unpick your anxiety & low mood & stress, whilst at the same time asking for a trial of HRT. Best of luck with things OP 💐

I felt exactly like this after having dd. When she was around 2, I was low, angry, had joint pain and mouth ulcers, slept poorly etc. I was 29. Had a lot of low levels of iron and various other vitamins/minerals. Once that was sorted, I was fine.

It could be perimenopause but could be other things as well. See a GP and ask for an MOT.

OP you could be describing the exact symptoms I suffered with for at least a couple of years before speaking to my GP about perimenopause aged 45. She was very supportive, said my symptoms definitely sounded like peri and we decided to try HRT. Was life changing for me, within a week. Appreciate that's not everyone's experience. Moods still not a picnic when I'm premenstrual but the rage has diminished and the aches have all gone. Had reached the stage where I felt like I only had about 7 days of the month where I wasn't either premenstrual or on my period. More balanced now. I hummed and haaad about whether or not it was hormone related or if I just needed to accept I was getting older and not looking after myself enough. In hindsight, I was peri for a good while before speaking to GP and should have had that chat earlier.

Get your thyroid checked too, some symptoms could be that (as well as peri)

Thank’s for everyone’s advice. I’ve had bloods done at GP to rule out general deficiencies and thyroid/diabetes. All clear except my iron was 36 and the cut off for anaemia is 30 I definitely think I need a supplement there.

Makes it seem more likely to be peri I think with everything else generally being okay, or as someone has said above low mood. Will book a follow up at GP to look at next steps.

I’ve just turned 44 and started on HRT in June last year after about 12-18 months of gradually worsening issues. When I first spoke to my GP in the May and listed all of the symptoms you describe, she asked if my Mum had had early menopause and when I confirmed she hadn’t, suggested that all my symptoms could just be a sign of me being depressed. 🙄

I know my body and I wasn’t going to be fobbed off, so I insisted on a full blood works which came back with elevated FSH levels, low folate and borderline hyperthyroidism. So they prescribed HRT in June. I’ve since changed from the oestrogen gel to the spray which I find better/easier to use but am still suffering with a number of the issues. I plan to make another appointment soon to ask about upping my dosage. I’ve also recently (within the last month) started using Testosterone cream in the hope that helps with my energy levels.

You’re not alone @23BD. Stick to your guns with the doctors and hopefully you’ll get sorted soon.