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Menopause

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Original poster

Thanks Zoe

16 replies

ILoveVitaminSea · 04/02/2026 16:37

https://spectator.com/article/is-perimenopause-a-myth/

apparently we are insulting for ‘going on’ about perimenopause. Well cheers Zoe! I had to leave my job but oh bore off and be quiet.

Is perimenopause a myth?

Fo 40-something women like me and my friends, there is a sense that perimenopause is perhaps more of an excuse than a real thing.

https://spectator.com/article/is-perimenopause-a-myth/

OP posts:
TheGoddessAthena · 04/02/2026 21:31

If Zoe was born in 1982, she’s 10 years younger than me. A decade ago I would have wondered what all the fuss was about too.

Charliede1182 · 04/02/2026 22:23

I agree 43 is far too young to be so smug that perimenopause "isn't a thing". It's like a 10 year old thinking periods must be bogus 🤣

VeryQuaintIrene · 04/02/2026 22:27

Her so-called "journalism" is generally pretty third-rate across the board. One to ignore.

Original poster
ILoveVitaminSea · 05/02/2026 08:10

Charliede1182 · 04/02/2026 22:23

I agree 43 is far too young to be so smug that perimenopause "isn't a thing". It's like a 10 year old thinking periods must be bogus 🤣

Smug is the word!

OP posts:
Original poster
ILoveVitaminSea · 05/02/2026 08:12

TheGoddessAthena · 04/02/2026 21:31

If Zoe was born in 1982, she’s 10 years younger than me. A decade ago I would have wondered what all the fuss was about too.

She’s the same age as me. I had to get on hrt at 41 to function again.

OP posts:
NightsweatNinja · 05/02/2026 08:21

“Well, for a whispery cadre of 40-something women like me and my friends, there is a sense that – for all that we are meant to be in the eye of the storm – perimenopause is perhaps more of an excuse than a real thing.”

Why didn’t she just write, “It hasn’t happened to me, therefore it doesn’t happen?”

FiftyShadesOfPurple · 05/02/2026 08:26

NightsweatNinja · 05/02/2026 08:21

“Well, for a whispery cadre of 40-something women like me and my friends, there is a sense that – for all that we are meant to be in the eye of the storm – perimenopause is perhaps more of an excuse than a real thing.”

Why didn’t she just write, “It hasn’t happened to me, therefore it doesn’t happen?”

Because that's not half as pretentious. "Whispery cadre" 🙄

BitOutOfPractice · 05/02/2026 08:28

ODFOD.

Thats to Zoe not you op.

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 05/02/2026 08:39

I'm 47 I went through menopause in my late 30s and I think perimenopause is a way to medicalise women's anger and insatisfaction. I had brain fog because I was in an abusive marriage! I'm angry because I realised the world is a misogynistic place, not because of my hormones!

bumphousebump · 05/02/2026 08:41

I went through perimenopause earlier than most of my friends, there was lots of well meaning advice that if I just exercised more, ate better, didn’t drink, I’d sail through it. Basically what was I making a fuss about? I was barely functioning. Very depressed and very angry. I was quietly vindicated about 10 years later….as I was sympathetic…

Whereismyjoiedevivre · 05/02/2026 08:49

Please do come back in 12 years, Zoe, and let us know how you’re doing. I rather think you might regret spending too much time trying to understand women’s health solely through your Insta-prism 🤦🏻‍♀️ and committing your un-sisterly what is all the fuss about? thoughts to the indelible Internet.

NightsweatNinja · 05/02/2026 08:53

Our brains literally rewrite - neural connections to the womb and ovaries are broken down and are rebuilt. Brain-fog is a symptom of neuroplasticity and it would be nice if we could talk about it in these terms, rather than ‘angry lady forgets things.’

TheGoddessAthena · 05/02/2026 10:21

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 05/02/2026 08:39

I'm 47 I went through menopause in my late 30s and I think perimenopause is a way to medicalise women's anger and insatisfaction. I had brain fog because I was in an abusive marriage! I'm angry because I realised the world is a misogynistic place, not because of my hormones!

Again, do you have the common sense to realise that your individual experience does not apply to everyone?

Without them "medicalising" perimenopause and giving me patches I wouldn't be here.

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 05/02/2026 10:42

TheGoddessAthena · 05/02/2026 10:21

Again, do you have the common sense to realise that your individual experience does not apply to everyone?

Without them "medicalising" perimenopause and giving me patches I wouldn't be here.

Show quote history

You didn't get my point. Perimenopause and menopause are real, I have HRT and love it. I'm happy you have patches and life is better because of them.

I just don't think hormonal fluctuations are the cause of everything. They are being used as a a way to avoid looking at the real reasons women feel shit!!

(I take HRT and I still have very little patience for nonsense, not because I'm menopausal but because I'm old enough to detect bullshit miles away.)

Charliede1182 · 05/02/2026 12:38

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 05/02/2026 08:39

I'm 47 I went through menopause in my late 30s and I think perimenopause is a way to medicalise women's anger and insatisfaction. I had brain fog because I was in an abusive marriage! I'm angry because I realised the world is a misogynistic place, not because of my hormones!

The thing is misogyny exists all through life and is probably at its worst when women are young eg objectification, sexual assault, reproductive rights etc and then again with the gendered ageism when we are old, compared to the respect afforded to older men in society.

We probably get a relative reprieve during midlife, when we are old enough to take no shit and young enough to still be considered "viable" in society, career etc.

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 05/02/2026 13:12

Charliede1182 · 05/02/2026 12:38

The thing is misogyny exists all through life and is probably at its worst when women are young eg objectification, sexual assault, reproductive rights etc and then again with the gendered ageism when we are old, compared to the respect afforded to older men in society.

We probably get a relative reprieve during midlife, when we are old enough to take no shit and young enough to still be considered "viable" in society, career etc.

Show quote history

I can only speak for myself, and I spent most of my life in denial about the extent of this misogyny. The penny dropped around 40, and it changed my view on everything.

I think lots of women (me included) are too busy looking for a partner, wanting to have kids, trying to be accepted at work and raising said kids to face this truth. And then in middle age we finally have time to breathe/ stop giving a fuck and it hits us like a ton of bricks. That was my individual experience, and I believe some women will completely disagree and some women will have lived the same.

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