Missing period - Peri or pregnant (43)

[Signoritawhocansway]

It's a very long time since I posted on Mumsnet - I think it was when my son was a neonate twelve years ago - but I'm going slowly mad with anxiety here and just want to run something past others for opinions please

I know the first answer will be 'take a test' - but I'm a little too scared to and I don't have any in

I have been having all the signs of Peri for the last few years; changes to my cycle (longer, shorter, all over the shop, lighter), fatigue, fog, moods erratic, anxiety, hot spells at night etc. I'd really like to know what age my Mum was but unfortunately both my parents have died.

January started with my period being ten days long but very light - think pantyliner light. I also had a weird bout of terrible vomiting which came from nowhere on about day 3, which I think was probably inadvisably eating reheated leftovers. Usually my periods are around four days and pretty light anyway

However, I'm now a week late for my next period, and panicking. What if that first period was implantation bleeding?

Statistically, I don't think it's likely; I'm 43, so only a 5% chance anyway, (tmi coming...) we use condoms every time and although DH does come near me 'naked' he never finishes without putting a condom on. No breakages. Also, I have NO other symptoms, which is that first period had been implantation I might have expected by now I think (as that would make me about 6 weeks)? Also everything I've read about implantation is that it doesn't go on for ten days. And I never had implantation bleeds on my other two pregnancies.

I'm now at day 34 of my cycle (longest so far is day 35). I'm feeling a little bit period-ish, but nothing happening so far.

So two questions: how likely is it I'm pregnant if he's never finished inside me, and (more the one I want advice on) if I'm not pregnant, how does one not go quietly insane with irregularity of periods in Peri? I know, I know - take a test!

I will come back to this thread, but I home educate so it may not be until later

Doesn't sound like you're pregnant. Implantation bleeding is literally a drop or two of pinkish staining for a day.

You can still get pregnant even if dh hasn't finished inside you because sperm can leak out beforehand or get into you through oral etc.

Peri does cause very irregular periods as I well know but honestly the only way you will know is take a pregnancy test.

Being 1-2 weeks late (or early) even skipping a month becomes normal for many women, longest I went was 9 whole months, then back with gusto

Sounds very unlikely from what you've written. Always a chance though!

You can't get pregnant from oral?!

Not always, i had red implantation bleeding - just a pantyliner amount.
It’s unlikely but you could be pregnant, a lot of women have a surge in fertility before going into menopause.

I'm also wondering how that works??

She gives him oral, they kiss, and then he gives her oral? And there's somehow a plucky sperm that is transferred and makes it down there??

You can’t get pregnant from oral 😭😭😭😭

That’s the age that my periods went from a regular 28 days to anything from 47 days to 17 days due to perimenopause. HRT has sorted that and all my other related issues out.

You cannot get pregnant through Oral 🫣

I had a dc at 43...
Get a test.
You could be worrying for nothing.