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Menopause

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So forgetful now, I think I’m actually a danger

29 replies

MetaphorsBeWithYou · 03/02/2026 17:46

I’m 50 and a teacher. A whole year has just done a mock exam and after all the papers were marked and returned, my boss came to see me. She said that a single pupil had confessed that he and his classmates had done the paper before. My class. When she told me this, I was totally bewildered and clueless. She said that I’d been in a meeting where we’d all agreed that the exam paper that had been sent (by some company that writes practice exam papers) was too difficult for the pupils, so we’d use this alternative one instead.

I remember that discussion about the difficulty of the paper, mostly because I actually didn’t think it was beyond them and I wanted to just let them give it a go. However, I was in a minority, so I just let it go. I do not remember any subsequent discussion about which paper we would use instead.

Even when my boss said “Your class had apparently done this paper before”, I still didn’t have any recollection of it. I turned to the back of my planner, where all my marks are, and there they are: they did it back in November and I marked it and returned it to them. My boss said she’d had a look in their “good work” folder and she saw them in there. They’re not a particularly able group - I must have taken them through it question by question. again, I have no memory of this.

I have a meeting with the Head Teacher tomorrow. I’m quite calm because this was 100% a genuine mistake but I’m afraid she might say that I was cheating or that this is malpractice. The worst case scenario is that I could lose the registration that I need to teach. I have many menopausal symptoms and this isn’t the first time I’ve made a mistake at work, but this is the worst.

OP posts:
Nn9011 · 03/02/2026 17:49

If you've been experiencing your symptoms for 12 months or are likely to, then you have some protections under the disability act. I would ask for accomodations like decisions like this to be put in writing, even as a quick email following a meeting. That's a perfectly reasonable adjustment to request and will show, should they try to discipline you out, that you attempted to get support in order to do your job.

Liladog · 03/02/2026 17:49

You make no reference to HRT?

MetaphorsBeWithYou · 03/02/2026 18:03

We have one of these meetings every week and after every meeting the minutes are emailed to us. I rarely look at them, so that’s on me. I am on HRT - I take Elleste Duet, but apart from cooling the hot flushes slightly,I can’t really say I’ve noticed much effect.

OP posts:
Liladog · 03/02/2026 18:04

MetaphorsBeWithYou · 03/02/2026 18:03

We have one of these meetings every week and after every meeting the minutes are emailed to us. I rarely look at them, so that’s on me. I am on HRT - I take Elleste Duet, but apart from cooling the hot flushes slightly,I can’t really say I’ve noticed much effect.

How long have you been on them?

OrangeCrushes · 03/02/2026 18:06

Has your GP confirmed that your memory issues are down to the menopause?

StopWindingBobStopWinding · 03/02/2026 18:06

Have you had your dosage checked? I’m on a different system but I moved up two doses within the first year of having HRT. I can tell when the symptoms start to come back that my own oestrogen has taken another dive and I’m in need of an adjustment.

oustedbymymate · 03/02/2026 18:10

Do not go into meeting with headteacher without representation. If no school rep then re arrange until local rep can come.

you’ve done nothing wrong here. It’s a genuine mistake. You’re teaching the kids good exam practice. However all too often this will be used by senior leaders as an excuse to start hounding more experienced (expensive) teachers. Ask me how I know.

do not attend meeting without representation.

VioletladyGrantham · 03/02/2026 18:17

You have my full sympathy OP. A bit older than you, but l have been having same issues for 2 years on and off. Same profession, too.
A week ago l forgot how to spell 'calories' and attempted to correct it twice before asking Google.
I had been on hrt for at least 3 years when the symptoms of this began and my GP decided to do an early onset dementia assessment, including a brain scan.
All was fine, so it was put down to menopause.l have periods of feeling okay and some periods of experiencing memory loss which then makes me anxious. I've no solution for you, but worth asking your GP for the blood basics to rule that out first. Low folate, b12 and vitamin d can make you fatigued with brain fog. I can talk you through the assessments as well if you need.

JinglingSpringbells · 03/02/2026 18:23

If HRT isn't working it needs reviewing. Legally all drugs have to be reviewed annually. Many women have an HRT review at 6 months.

You might need to swap the type (from tablets to patches for example) or just increase the estrogen which you can't with tablets.

MetaphorsBeWithYou · 03/02/2026 18:25

I’ve been on Elleste Duet for years - maybe three years? I’ve never had the dose changed, it’s quite a low dose. My memory issues haven’t been addressed by the GP. The GP sent me for blood tests for my thyroid, because of tiredness, but there’s nothing wrong with my thyroid.

OP posts:
MetaphorsBeWithYou · 03/02/2026 18:31

Thank you @VioletladyGrantham . I’m going to make a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. There’s clearly something up with me!

OP posts:
Chinsupmeloves · 03/02/2026 18:34

Time to see the doc and enquire about HRT!

However, please believe me, it's not necessarily just down to menopause, its the relentlessness of the job as well. There was a MALE HOD who didn't realise he had instructed the science dept to teach the wrong course for 5 months in Y10. So many other stories over the years of how we can all get it wrong simply due to the pace and demands of juggling so many classes, the pressures, micromanaging etc.

The school know you, Human error, you and your colleagues will joke it about it in the future, it can't be cheating for a mock paper anyway. Give yourself a break and know this too shall pass. Xxx

RainySundayAfternoon · 03/02/2026 18:35

I have had similar experiences OP - not a teacher though, work full time and am open with colleagues about my recent terrible memory.
I did see a GP about a year ago but she was pretty dismissive - did a brief verbal test (I imagine Trump has had similar lately!) which I found easy, and all she said was take B12.
Which I didn’t do, now that I think about it 🧐

VioletladyGrantham · 03/02/2026 19:00

I am on the 'duet' as well. Cannot do patches due to contact dermatitis. There isn't a higher dose. I've asked. The next level is a higher risk for breast cancer so l'd raise an eyebrow if your GP opts for that.
There is a lady, a professor, who specialises in menopause and cognitive issues. She was featured on the BBC news about a week ago. Barbara Satiatian, or something like that. Worth looking to see if she offers advice, perhaps?

oustedbymymate · 03/02/2026 19:08

What other symptoms have you got @MetaphorsBeWithYou

JinglingSpringbells · 03/02/2026 19:08

VioletladyGrantham · 03/02/2026 19:00

I am on the 'duet' as well. Cannot do patches due to contact dermatitis. There isn't a higher dose. I've asked. The next level is a higher risk for breast cancer so l'd raise an eyebrow if your GP opts for that.
There is a lady, a professor, who specialises in menopause and cognitive issues. She was featured on the BBC news about a week ago. Barbara Satiatian, or something like that. Worth looking to see if she offers advice, perhaps?

@VioletladyGrantham Has your GP said that there is a higher risk of BC with more estrogen?

There is no increased risk of breast cancer with higher doses of estrogen. The BC risk comes from the type of progesterone (worth checking online for the medical papers that show this, such as the British Menopause Society website.) The safest form is micronised progesterone taken with transdermal estrogen either as patch, gel or spray.

JinglingSpringbells · 03/02/2026 19:11

MetaphorsBeWithYou · 03/02/2026 18:25

I’ve been on Elleste Duet for years - maybe three years? I’ve never had the dose changed, it’s quite a low dose. My memory issues haven’t been addressed by the GP. The GP sent me for blood tests for my thyroid, because of tiredness, but there’s nothing wrong with my thyroid.

Has your GP never asked you to go for a review of HRT?

Tablet forms of HRT have a downside, because a lot of the estrogen is lost in digestion anyway.

You might want to think about other types and if necessary and your GP isn't up to speed consider making an appt with a private specialist.

SirChenjins · 03/02/2026 19:17

You have my sympathies OP - brain fog is miserable. I agree with a pp that you should take representation to the meeting with you, and while it's a good idea to review your HRT I'd also push for a discussion with a GP with an interest in memory issues. I had really struggled with my memory during the worst of the perimenopause and was referred to a consultant who specialises in memory issues (ironically I can't recall the name of that specialty) and they were really helpful - and reassuring.

Flatinbed · 03/02/2026 19:20

I am a teacher too. We are asked a hundred things a day. By management, kids and sometimes other colleagues. I make many many little mistakes. None like yours, but that's only because we have a different education system. (I would be totally capable of making the same mistake). Added to that, after a few years teaching the same subject to the same years, it is always groundhog day.

Give your yourself a break. The brain gets overloaded and de-priorities things that are similar or have been repeated many times. These test papers all start to look the same after a while. And how many hours are you working? How many breaks do you get to take?

Today, I texted a parent the same question for a second time. I asked the question previously a week ago and forgot, while catching up an bleeding admin. The cheeky cow wrote back "it appears that you have no idea at all what's going on". I felt like writing back: i have 20 hours teaching a week, marking of about 20 hours to be completed, a ridiculous amount of admin and because you refused to sign a piece of paper infront of me because you wanted to delay i have to chase you up. Stop taking up my time unnecessarily and I may not make small admin errors.

I hope it goes well for you. You are perfectly okay. The job and menopause each take their turns in giving a kicking. We're not machines.

VioletladyGrantham · 03/02/2026 20:13

MetaphorsBeWithYou · 03/02/2026 18:31

Thank you @VioletladyGrantham . I’m going to make a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. There’s clearly something up with me!

More a process of elimination, OP.
Best you know what your dealing with so that you can get better sooner. The effects of low folate, for example, can be greatly improved after 6 weeks of the prescription stuff.
JinglingSpringbells - yes, he did. I had to beg for this type when the previous type stopped working after about a year. I have lupus, autoimmune thyroiditis, and pancreatic cancer runs in my family. Perhaps that influenced his thinking. I had a blood test today so I'll check in with him on this point next week.

redboxerclub · 03/02/2026 20:34

Jesus you have a meeting with the head over this! WTAF. It’s not an important mistake. It really doesn’t matter. It’s a NORMAL mistake.

Was it one paper or 2? Why don’t the whole department print the papers? Why are you marks in a mark book not on a departmental tracker. Why did your HOD report you to the head? This is insane!

if you are meeting the head to discuss this as if it is a crime then you need to take the union. This is outrageous!

We have empolyee benefits and menopause support service is part of that. Also you need to find your menopause policy (I work for a large Mat)

when you speak with the GP, ask for an appointment with the special is GP

Do not stand for this shit! FML.

Liladog · 03/02/2026 20:41

Has senior leadership ever had call to pull you up on other matters?

soupyspoon · 03/02/2026 20:46

JinglingSpringbells · 03/02/2026 19:08

@VioletladyGrantham Has your GP said that there is a higher risk of BC with more estrogen?

There is no increased risk of breast cancer with higher doses of estrogen. The BC risk comes from the type of progesterone (worth checking online for the medical papers that show this, such as the British Menopause Society website.) The safest form is micronised progesterone taken with transdermal estrogen either as patch, gel or spray.

I dont think its in patch form

JinglingSpringbells · 03/02/2026 21:14

soupyspoon · 03/02/2026 20:46

I dont think its in patch form

Do you mean micronised progesterone?

Micronised progesterone comes as a tablet. It's used with transdermal estrogen (an estrogen patch, gel or spray .)

It's different to the progestogen in patches. It's natural progesterone. It's considered safer to the synthetic types in a patch or tablets.

soupyspoon · 03/02/2026 21:26

JinglingSpringbells · 03/02/2026 21:14

Do you mean micronised progesterone?

Micronised progesterone comes as a tablet. It's used with transdermal estrogen (an estrogen patch, gel or spray .)

It's different to the progestogen in patches. It's natural progesterone. It's considered safer to the synthetic types in a patch or tablets.

Edited

I thought you were saying that type of progesterone comes in the patch

I only learned this week, after the GP not even knowing what body identical meant, that the progesterone in the patch is not body identical. Which is what I had specifically asked for