Anxiety - busy brain, rumination, overthinking

[SilkieChick]

Anyone else struggle with this? Anxiety for me usually manifests as non-stop busy brain, thinking and overthinking everything - and at the moment that's usually about my health: menopause symptoms, mental health, am I ok, how do I feel today, how can I make it better, will it ever get better, should I change my HRT, how do I fix it etc etc.

Or my relationship with DH - are we ok, is he ok, it's been ages since we had sex, will we ever do it again, is this my fault, how do I get my libido back, he chews too loud, do I hate him, is our marriage a mistake, does he hate me right now, I must be awful to live with at the moment, I wish I didn't have to put up with his crap.... and on and on and on.

I do try to meditate every day, I go for walks to try and switch off or to work through a problem in my mind, I eat well, I'm on HRT. I do all the 'right things' but still feel wrong.

Also I feel I don't have anyone to talk to (hence talking to strangers on the internet) IRL - I have very few close friends, we don't see each other or text regularly, just occasional meet ups. I can't talk to DH about it, my mum is good, but I feel like if I confided the scale of some of my thoughts (see above) to someone I know they might freak out a bit.

Does anyone else have a busy brain they can't shut down? How do you deal with it? I need tips and advice, people, I feel alone with this problem and I'm exhausted with too much thinking 😞

I had this, but HRT has helped me a lot. I also had some talking therapy which suggested I mentally think, 'Yes - thank you brain. I acknowledge what you are saying, but it's not helpful to me and I'm moving on'.

I know that sounds ridiculous but it did help quite a bit.

That's a good tip @Hatty65, I think I read that somewhere else too but had forgotten it. I'll give it a try.

I need to find ways to interrupt the thoughts or cut them off, or distract myself but it's hard when you're stuck in the middle of it. It's so unhelpful for work and getting things done too - I find myself very distracted day to day, am finding it hard to focus on other things.

Yeah definitely, progesterone seems to be helping with the anxiety, I think the fluctuating hormones affect the amygdala which is our alarm system and the neurotransmitters so it’s no wonder really.

helps but it takes a bit of time to rewire the brain if it’s been going on for a bit. Make sure you’re keeping up with the usual: sleep, hydration, fruit and veg, fresh air, nature, reduce caffeine, easier said than done I know but all helps.

Totally agree with this too.

Solidarity. I could have written your post, and came onto MN this evening on the verge of posting something similar.
Same as you, I often feel quite isolated by this, and also guilty, as poor DH gets the brunt of it.
my head and mind feel totally overrun with anxious thoughts, all over lapping, I’m having palpitations and feel on the verge of a panic attack.
For me, the over analysing everything is the worst.
Im self employed, and feel totally demotivated, no confidence to get in new business, no self belief. Every decision floors me, so feels like wading through treacle to get through the day.

I’ve always been prone to depression, and recently I’ve realised I have ADHD, which obviously isn’t helping my mental state.

Big hugs OP!

I had some therapy for pain management which was really good for this (I guess lots of people in long term pain get very anxious and overthink).

It was called Compassion Based Therapy. You don't really need to have therapy to use the techniques, it's really practical and teaches you 'in the moment' things. For example, if you know you're spiraling, the first thing you need to do is tell yourself, very assertively, to SLOW DOWN the thoughts. You can also use breathing techniques alongside it to physiologically calm yourself down. Then it's about taking one thought and examining it for truth. Like - what's the argument for/against this being true. This works better than trying to suppress the thoughts (which is really just avoidance).

In general I'd really recommend Compassion Based Therapy. It's essentially about being kinder to yourself, talking to yourself like you would do someone you feel really compassionately towards and accepting and examining your negative thoughts.

I also get these types of thoughts, I know they're hormonal because I get a hot flash at the same time, but they are basically a symptom of anxiety. The SLOW DOWN, has really worked for me and I've found it ends the hot flash quicker too.

https://positivepsychology.com/compassion-focused-therapy-training-exercises-worksheets/

Thanks all, some helpful advice and solidarity here. I haven't heard of compassion based therapy -will definitely check it out.

I've felt a little better in the past couple of days, and funnily enough have also had a bit of spotting. I have a coil and no significant periods, so I'm taking that to mean there's been a bit of hormone fluctuation - a drop in progesterone probably? - which may have made everything feel worse than usual.

That tracks with your theory @ILoveVitaminSea . It feels a bit like back in the day when you'd feel a bit rage-y and mad, and then get a period and feel much better very quickly, and then realise it was all hormonal after all 🙄 I've created a bit of an action plan for myself the next time it strikes, involving self-care and gentle exercise and the advice above about talking to my brain.

@tigerbear sorry you're finding it so tough - lots of overlapping issues there to deal with. I hope you can find some help and support soon.