Could this possibly be a symptom of the menopause?

[Lemond1fficult]

My dsis (51) has been getting more and more aggressive and erratic with her emotions over the last decade. Completely miserable and glass half empty. Constantly picking fights with her partner and very sweet dd (15). Rages at all hours of the day and night, bursting into people’s rooms to pick fights when they’re asleep, and often her reasons don’t make sense. Everyone tiptoes around her but it’s impossible to avoid some kind of blow up.

She’s always been fiery and not totally reasonable, but this a whole other ballgame: she’s lost friends, had cps called by my niece’s GP (nothing came of it). She claims it’s all down to her menopause and that she can’t do anything more to regulate her emotions.

i’m perimenopausal myself and on HRT but in comparison to dsis it’s nothing. Does anyone on here relate to any of this behaviour or know anyone this sounds like? And were they able to turn it back around?

Some people are more affected by the mental health side of peri / menopausal than others - may even need a bigger dose of HRT. Is there a reason she won't take it?? Any reason to believe she might also have undiagnosed ADHD as well?

Everything seems to get blamed on peri and meno these days. This seems extreme though and she needs a thorough assessment, sounds like escalating mental health issues. Menopause may of course be triggering and exacerbating things but sounds like there's much more going on.

Obviously you can't force anyone to see their GP but try telling her it isn't normal, she is being emotionally abusive to her poor dd and she needs to seek advice. Is she a big drinker?

That sounds like an excuse, I’d say either mental health issue or just bloody nasty!

It can amplify things I found but need to address the root. For example I had mild anxiety and perimenopause fluctuations sent it off the rails.

Thanks for your kind replies, ladies. @herbettaI and my sister’s DD15 both have diagnosed ADHD, so entirely possible dsis has it too, though she doesn’t have a typical presentation if so. Why do you ask?

@JaniieI would love for her to be MH assessed but she absolutely refuses, also therapy (which hasn’t stopped her lying about going to therapy to her ex best friend). She places all her faith in medication alone, though it seems to make no difference.

Because a lot of ADHD in females isn't apparent or diagnosed until peri / Menopause (myself included). Oestrogen mitigates against or manages ADHD to a certain extent, which is why symptoms (or the ability to manage them or mask etc) exacerbated as levels decline.

I'll post an interesting article / factsheet in a bit.

Yes

https://www.drlouisenewson.co.uk/knowledge/adhd-and-hormones-in-women

I have ADHD and am perimenopausal, I am struggling a lot, especially with dealing with relationships/people. I often feel raged, depressed, emotional and anxious….but I don’t take it out on my family, most of it is felt with internally (which is hard).

Each person is different, some will go through the menopause with no issues at all, whilst others will struggle a lot.Those who are on the spectrum are likely to suffer , especially with regulating emotions.

Thanks @herbetta- this is incredibly helpful. A lot of the symptoms listed as possible double whammy of menopause & adhd apply to dsis. At the moment she’s doing literally non of the things that I know help my adhd such as high protein diet, regular exercise, sleep hygiene, stimulant meds, supplements.

But when we were diagnosing the niece I asked her if she thought she might also have it as it seems unlikely to skip a generation (dm is also undiagnosed but riddled with adhd), and she was pretty clear that she didn’t. Apart from the emotional disregulation she has always been v ‘normal’ ie no dopamine chasing or risky behaviours, low-key clothes & music and no hyper fixations so she doesn’t present as typically adhd, whereas I, dm and dniece all do.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling @Moonlightfrog. The thing I’ve found helps me stay on an even keel (apart from HRT) is eating at regular times and avoiding caffeine, wine and chocolate. If I have them, I find the next day I feel miserable, though the odd Margarita seems not to affect me adversely.