Zero labido due to menopause. This is it for me. Am I really that unusual?

[2old4thispoo]

I'm 52. 8 years postmenopausal. Been on HRT 8 years.
Various combinations.
Currently on Elleste Solo 2mg.
Utrogestan, Tostran, Estring and Ovestin.

Before menopause, I waa in a long term relationship (20yrs). We had sex most days. Very physical relationship which we both enjoyed.

Unfortunately the relationship broke down 6 years ago.
The menopause, severe mood swings and zero labido were definitely a factor.

Now I've gone years without sex or a relationship. I have absolutely zero desire. I've not met anyone im physically or emotionally attracted to.

I have friends my age, some married, some divorced and they all have healthy sex lives. I really can't be bothered. I do feel like the odd one out. My friends were so shocked when I talked about it recently.

I have no interest in fixing the issue. I've exhausted all the HRT regimes available.

I cant be the only one...
Anyone else relate?

No, I’m the same. No interest. DH had ED and wouldn’t do anything about it, so we stopped having sex years ago due to him, at that time I was very frustrated so I’m happy to not want it now.

Not unusual at all.

However the hrt regime for low libido includes testosterone.

@SummerhillsquareI've been on testosterone about 6 years.

HRT for about 6 years. I've been on testosterone for 6 months and it's made zero difference!

Have you tried increasing the testosterone dose?

@BigGapMumOn the maximum dose, apparently good levels for both estrogen and testosterone.

My oestrogen has to be high for libido. Testosterone made very little difference.

How long have you been on testosterone for @2old4thispooand have you had your blood levels checked recently? I felt like you until my testosterone levels were sorted and even now, I still do feel like you from time to time.

I think libido as women is quite complex. It’s not as straightforward has having the right level of hormones though this will undoubtedly help. Lots of other things come into play such as our past experiences, feelings about ageing and changing bodies, past relationships, expectations, impact of long term relationships, caring duties etc etc

No, mine disappeared totally once menopause started and it;s been great! I feel like I'm finally seeing clearly, and dont want another relationship as long as I live. It's been the calmest happiest period of my life

No interest here either really. Combo of meno and other health conditions.

I'm post menopausal for 3 year's. My sex drive has totally vanished. No interest at all 😕

I had a total hysterectomy at 42. Lost libido overnight unfortunately and it's never come back 😫

No libido since menopause. But relationship with spouse was just starting to break down. I've never had any interest in 'fixing' it. Or in meeting anything else. However I have needed vaginal oestrogen cream.

Oh my goodness! I feel so sad for you all. My libido is a bit up and down but I definitely do want sex. After reading your stories, I’m very grateful I have a libido remaining.

I've been on testosterone 6 years. As I went through premature menopause I was referred to a NHS menopause clinic.

Levels were good, the last time they were checked.

I get what your saying about circumstances, environment etc but I have no desire, ever.
No maturation, absolutely nothing.

Don't feel sorry for me. Its fine.
I only posted as my friends were quite shocked and I thought, this is probably quite common, I cant be the only one!

My libido is so low I no longer feel like masturbating and I certainly don’t want to have sex. It’s been a fair while since I did either. I’m 52.

Not interested at all and don't miss it. I'm 63.

I have zero libido. Full Hysterectomy 2 years ago, had to come off my HRT, diagnosed with two cancers ( one of which is attached to my vagina!) Yep, I’m finished.

Sounds incredibly difficult.

You are not the only one. 7 years post menopausal, zero libido. For a few years I forced myself to have sex with husband for him but that must have been about 3 years ago. He is sad about it but it's such a relief for me not to have to.

I think it’s probably hard for those, who still have a sex drive, to understand that it just goes and you have no desire for it. I think there’s a lot of us out here, we just don’t talk about it.

Yep. Me too. Absolutely none at all. Don't fancy anyone, even objectively. Not had sex for prob 5 years. Cant be arsed to masturbate. DH seems ok, he prob isn't. But i can't force myself to. The whole idea makes me feel yuck.

Absolutely!
Everyone says menopause isn't taboo anymore but we hear very little about Vaginal Atrophy, changes and long term loss of labido.

Everything seems to be gesred up to HRT solving all issues.

I would never have said anything but my friends presumed I had some sort of secret "boyfriend'.
They were quite shocked and really struggled to comprehend having zero labido. Just as I would have.

Also I found doctors so unhelpful and dismissve, I stopped trying to find a solution.

When I was 43, a consultant at an NHS menopause clinic, told me I needed to be realistic and I wasn't im my 20s anymore. At some level thats stuck with me.

But it means I haven't had a relationship in years which isn't that big a deal but it would have been nice when I was younger.

I know many single women who aren't bothered about finding a partner to have sex with so I don't think you're unusual at all. It is obviously an issue if in a relationship and libido vanishes but if single I think it's totally normal.