Feeling a bit all over the place

[Bestfootforward11]

Posting here to get off my chest to see if anyone relates or has some positive stories to share!. I am just so tired. I can’t work in the way I used to, my brain is like mush. I had to meet a deadline, worked really hard on it and did it but had moments where I felt trembly/dizzy. This was on the kind of stuff that I know well so shouldn’t have been stressful. I had to do a speech and couldn’t find my words. I am fed up of running around like a loon. There are no moments of stillness in the day. I know I’m very lucky in many ways but just feel I am losing all sense of who I am. I am on HRT gel and progesterone tablets. Also iron tablets, vit d, thyroxine. Also on sertraline. I’m constantly listening to podcasts about how to improve mental health etc. try to do yoga. I’ve started seeing a therapist. I don’t know what else to do, at the moment it feels like a losing battle. Thanks for reading. Any advice or kind words welcome.

Posting to give you solidarity. I've been on HRT since February and my dose has been upped since then, but I still get those issues. It's like wading through treacle, I work in comms and it's really full on and stuff takes me twice as long these days. I totally recognise the losing yourself thing too - I feel so tired so much for the time and that I use up all my energy at work so have no time left over for doing stuff I like. My social life has taken such a nosedive. And I have such an overwhelming feeling of not being arsed with anything (this is the person who used to be borderline workaholic), I just cannot be effed with anything and I really dislike people too (me, the extrovert, who loves people).

I do everything I can to try and address it, same as you (although my thyroid has been bloody borderline my whole life so no one will do anything about that), you name any supplement I take it... I meditate, listen to podcasts, go to bed at a time that would make a toddler blush (not that I get much sleep these days and when I do it isn't restful). So just saying you are not alone and it I find the magic spell, I will gladly share it. It will get better for us both, it just needs to speed up.

And sorry for all the typos - bloody tired, sore eyes too. Another fun side effect!

Thank you so much for your words of solidarity! It is just so frustrating isn’t it? I’m the same re going out, just can’t be bothered at the moment and most people annoy me in some way which isn’t how I used to be. Just feel stretched in every sense and looking for an answer to things that seems to be impossible to find. Thank you again. Tomorrow is another day!

Oh my god yes!!!!!!! If I write a short email and check it 200 times, somehow there are still typos!! Never used to be like this. Better things will come in time I hope!

@Bestfootforward11 Honestly, I could have written your post word for word. It is so frustrating - the way it's affecting me is just so alien to how I usually move through life. Stretched in every sense is a really good way of putting it. I hate that things that used to be so straightforward take such a Herculean effort these days. Everything is a struggle at the moment. I've got an appointment in February for bloods again when it will have been a year and I am going to ask for another increase in dose if possible. I am going to throw everything medical that I can at it. I never even used to take paracetamol but frankly now I would take any and all drugs to feel how I used to feel. I've had so many lovely invitations in the lead up to Christmas. I've turned 90% of them down. I feel like Gollum... wanting to be alone in a cave and muttering about how the world is crap and how I hate everyone!

Seriously I have spent my whole career proof-reading and now my own stuff is littered with typos unless I double and triple check. Plus I get my dates mixed up now too - never used to happen. It's like another world. Yes they will, but if only they would hurry up eh?! I would pay good money for a brain transplant right now!

I find dates tricky too. I even find it stressful to decide a date for something because I know there’s something I’ve forgotten and somehow I get dates muddled. I could always rely on myself at work and with detail but now feel I am just getting through the day. You mentioned Herculean and that’s exactly it, I was feeling like I need week off after today!

I hope the blood tests are useful. I was borderline with under active thyroid for a while and then they gave me thyroxine but it didn’t make me feel any better. Then because it can interact with HRT the dose keeps being increased. Maybe I should increase the gel? And people talk a lot of testosterone bring helpful, but not sure.

Totally feel your pain. The muddling is so infuriating and there doesn't seem to be a way around it - post its, double checking my diary, I still forget stuff or get it back to front. I totally know how you feel. I have an event tomorrow that I will drag myself through and then next week I have two more big things before Christmas... so by 1 December I am hoping for a downward slope to Christmas. I really need to take my foot off the accelerator, because even when it's fully down, it's trying to move a dodgem car around when you know your turn is coming to an end and the juice is beginning to run out!!

You made me chuckle re post its as I do that too! And note anything I need to do in a notebook and then somehow forget it. So annoying as at this age, you hope to be feeling at the height of your career as you’re experienced etc but here I am feeling like like I’m flapping about about the basics! Lots of luck for your event today, will be thinking of you and cheering you on. Love the dodgem car analogy! I’m going to try and eek out a little more competence today!