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Menopause

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Original poster

Pleased to still be having periods on cusp of 53rd birthday

120 replies

3StoneStillToGo · 30/10/2025 10:52

So, like title says I'll be 53 before the end of the year and still having regular periods. They have got shorter in cycle - so 27 days this month, down from 28 days last month. They have been 28 days for a while.
My periods when younger were every 35 days.

Don't have kids in case that is relevant to anything.

Everytime I get another one I think 'Oh good, protected for another month'

What I mean by that is I have heard the longer you have your periods the better it is for your health to still have all the relevant hormones in enough quantities to cause a period.

Obviously I am in perimenopause as my cycle is changing but apart from some quite heavy periods nothing has really changed. No hot flushes or night sweats or anything.

I sort of feel the closer I get to being 60 without them stopping the better it is for all things concerned. If I fall apart after 60 I'm not so bothered as I feel like I'll be 'old' then. Planning to stop dying my hair at 60 too although of course that could change.

Anyway just wondered if anyone else felt like that. I read often that people are sick of them and wish they would hurry up and stop but I feel the opposite way although of course I still hate the mess, sore stomach, headaches.

OP posts:
Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 11:03

AngelsWithSilverWings · 31/10/2025 10:44

If you want to stop making an effort with your appearance you can do that at any age. No need to wait until 60.

I volunteer at a council run over 60's social club. Most attendees are in their 70's and most of the women take pride in their appearance and dress fashionably with their make up done and have hair styled nicely. Many belong to activity groups ( Nordic walking and cold water swimming is popular among them) and they have very active social lives ( group theatre trips , lunches and supper clubs)

My grandmother gave up on life at 60 when she was made redundant from her job. There is no way I'm doing that when it's clear there is so much to do and so much fun still to be had.

yes I realise I can stop making an effort at any age and believe me I was 19 stone at one point due to comfort eating so have looked pretty bad at various ages.

Threads like this do make me realise how unusual I am. I've been old since I was about 10 due to my childhood. I guess I was looking forward to being what I thought was 'officially old' so I could stop trying and just be relieved to be able to hide away. I do a pretty good job already but still have obligations that I need to fufil which I hopefully won't have by then.

Better not post about how I'm looking forward to dying and how it will be a relief to escape the mental torture my life has been! Imagine the replies I'd get to that.
(I'm not suicidal before anyone says anything. I am just looking forward to the relief of having 'survived' my life and yes the NHS knows all about my health)

OP posts:
Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 11:08

JinglingSpringbells · 31/10/2025 11:01

@3StoneStillToGo There isn't a massive difference between periods stopping at 50-ish or 55. The real risk of bone loss is if periods stop much before 50.

Sadly, most women don't know what their bone health is unless they have it scanned and the problems usually appear in their 60s or 70s.

Many women insist they are 'fine' without HRT and half will be, but half will not be. 1:2 women develop osteoporosis and most are only diagnosed too late after a fracture.

What you have added in your posts seem to show your real issues are not about the menopause but your mental health and you're waiting for counselling. I hope that goes well.

Edited

well my post was about menopause in so far as I was 'relieved' to still be having periods as I thought it gave me some protection.

I certaintly have bad anxiety and was probably trying to reassure myself.

I wish I was waiting for 'counselling'. Fraid I'm getting the really good therapy (for severe complex trauma). Lucky me! Bad enough I'm getting it for free on the NHS, no small feat in todays cash strapped NHS.

And before anyone decides to have a go at me - no I do not claim any benefits for health issues.

OP posts:
IHateEmptyPockets · 31/10/2025 11:15

@3StoneStillToGo for what it’s worth, I understand what you mean by being old when you were young. I lost my mum when I was eleven and had to grow up very fast. Childhood was over at that point really, so I sympathise 💐

Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 11:18

IHateEmptyPockets · 31/10/2025 11:15

@3StoneStillToGo for what it’s worth, I understand what you mean by being old when you were young. I lost my mum when I was eleven and had to grow up very fast. Childhood was over at that point really, so I sympathise 💐

thank you. I appreciate your support and sorry for the loss of your mum.

Unfortunately I was subject to abuse from pretty much birth at the hands of two mentally ill parents although it didn't come to light till much later.

Posts where people are so 'alive' and full of life and older than me make me realise how much was stolen from me. (sorry to be so depressing. I veer between anger and despair). I shouldn't have posted. You open up to people you get a kicking. Back to hiding then

Thanks again

OP posts:
Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 11:36

JustReacher · 31/10/2025 10:52

Hi OP, without that further information your post came across as "life's over after 60" and so people disagreed with that, understandably.

I'm sorry if you feel I gave you a kicking. Now you've shared some more information it sounds like you're actually saying something different, you're saying you didn't have a childhood and have mental health issues and can't see a GP and you've felt old for a long time and are quite looking forward to sinking into not giving a fuck.

It does sound like HRT might help, my main symptom was anxiety which was sorted by HRT. So I would persist with trying to get an appointment. I hope the counselling goes well. And nobody here gives a fuck about whether you dye your hair or not, some of us were just making the point that you don't have to give up at 60! Good luck.

Yes the hair dying thing was probably because I've lived my life feeling hideous, ugly, repulsive, disgusting etc. Constant shame and humiliation as a small child with no protection does that to you.

I wasn't actually ugly or repulsive (logically I know this, emotionally I can't accept it) except when i was hugely overweight but my self esteem was so poor that I always felt I had to try and look as perfect as possible so I wouldn't be vunerable to further attack.

I guess I thought once I got to 60 I would be completely out of any limelight and 'safe'.

When I hear how strong and confident others are in themselves and how much they love life etc I literally could commit murder with the rage I have inside.

To those of you who are raising children with love, kindness, support, safety and consistency you have no idea what a wonderful job you are doing.

OP posts:
Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 11:45

Theresabatinmykitchen · 30/10/2025 14:49

You are nothing special OP as much as you like to think you are, my last period was at 54 perfectly within the normal range. I presume you fully intended to be goady knowing that the likely replies would be from us “old” women who are either 60 or close to, have a word with yourself.

nothing could be further from the truth. Hopefully my posts today have explained better.

I'm fucking rolling around laughing at the idea that I would dare to think I was anything special.

Don't worry evil fuckers of parents. You may be dead now but if the voice in my head dosen't berate me enough on a daily basis, this person has just reminded me what a piece of shit I still am.

OP posts:
Violinist64 · 31/10/2025 11:51

MyBirthdayMonth · 30/10/2025 14:13

I'm over 60, have never taken HRT and am certainly not falling apart! And can't imagine why anyone would actually want to have periods.

Show quote history

Same here. I had an endometrial ablation when I was 49 after suffering very heavy, almost continuous periods. It stopped everything immediately. I only had the occasional hot flush and have never needed HRT. It is soooo liberating. Meanwhile, I know someone who is 55 and still going strong every month. I don't envy her.

Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 11:53

PixieandMe · 30/10/2025 14:50

'If I fall apart after 60 I'm not so bothered as I feel like I'll be 'old' then.'

What a horrible and ignorant statement.

And a smug OP in general. Your regular periods at 53 are not a guaranteed elixir for a long life.

I'm looking forward to being old because then the inside of me (which has always been old) will match the outside of me (which will then be old).

I apologise for any offence. I'm afraid I've been subjected to such cruelty that I am desensitized to things that others think are 'shocking' or 'horrible'

I am very much looking forward to being dead. It will be a relief to be free from what is inside me and not have to remember any of it. A long life to me is not a good thing. I realise I didn't explain any of that.

I am not suicidal before anyone reports me. Although I have cried today reading these posts which is quite amazing giving how many 'happy' drugs I am on.

In short - don't tell people anything, don't give them a reason to attack you. My own fault. Sometimes I forget!

OP posts:
Thmssngvwlsrnd · 31/10/2025 11:58

Oh @3StoneStillToGo I'm so sorry to read your posts. Sounds like you've had a very difficult time of it. Sending love and strength your way x

Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 12:01

Theresabatinmykitchen · 30/10/2025 14:54

I think the OP is terrified of ageing, hence coming on here to try and convince herself that she still young and vibrant with her non grey hair 🙄

I wish I had ever felt young and carefree enough to know the difference. Sadly I only know what feeling old is like. I am looking forward to when the outside of me matches the inside of me.

Very much looking forward to being old enough to officially hide away without any obligations.

I was never young and vibrant. Even when I was actually young and had beautiful skin etc I was a million years old.

Not terrified of ageing. Terrified of having to live another 40 years.

I actually had grey hair in my early twenties as everyone in my family went grey early.

Glad you had a good laugh though. Thanks for the reminder of how horrible humans are.

OP posts:
Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 12:04

writingsonthewall · 30/10/2025 15:06

Mine stopped when I was 40 so thrilled to read this 🙄

sorry I honestly didn't mean to upset you.

I guess I was just relieved at one less thing to worry about.

Hopefully you have GP access and so can get HRT if you need it.

Sorry again!

OP posts:
Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 12:05

Catpiece · 30/10/2025 15:28

Periods stopped at 53. Not on HRT. Still bleaching hair and wearing my make up. 60 isn’t old. This 2025 not 1956

Sorry no offence.

I am looking forward to being officially old but I think I might be 'unusual'

OP posts:
Periperi2025 · 31/10/2025 12:07

3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 12:01

I wish I had ever felt young and carefree enough to know the difference. Sadly I only know what feeling old is like. I am looking forward to when the outside of me matches the inside of me.

Very much looking forward to being old enough to officially hide away without any obligations.

I was never young and vibrant. Even when I was actually young and had beautiful skin etc I was a million years old.

Not terrified of ageing. Terrified of having to live another 40 years.

I actually had grey hair in my early twenties as everyone in my family went grey early.

Glad you had a good laugh though. Thanks for the reminder of how horrible humans are.

Show quote history

I think if you come on Mumsnet starting threads like this one you cant expect people not to to push back at the offence you cause.

You may well not have intended it, but you certainly implied in you OP that once a women goes through menopause they are 'old' and may as well give up. For those of us going through menopause in our 30s and early 40s that is offensive, and seemingly for those women over 60 it is also offensive.

You obviously have your own issues but that doesn't mean that when you offend large numbers of people on a public forum they can't call you out.

Alpacajigsaw · 31/10/2025 12:11

3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 10:24

I'm looking forward to it - not having to try and be attractive anymore to fit in with society expectations of what a woman should look like.

Everyone is different but for me the idea is bliss.

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I’m not attractive anyway 😂 I’m just ugly with dyed hair

Alpacajigsaw · 31/10/2025 12:13

3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 10:22

I might feel different if I could get a GP appointment to ask about do I need HRT. Since it seems impossible where I live I was consoling myself that having my periods still was giving me some protection.

I'd rather not take any more drugs unless I have to (already on max dose of antidepressants due to complex trauma in childhood)

Show quote history

I take tablets but I think a lot of people have the patches. Only an extra tablet a day on top of the others I have to take!

Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 12:13

orangewasp · 30/10/2025 15:52

If I fall apart after 60 I'm not so bothered as I feel like I'll be 'old' then

Please do come back when you are 60 and tell us then you are happy to be old and falling apart 🤣
Also, such a strange thing to be smug about.

yes i will be delighted to be old as I have explained today. I don't want to keep explaining so perhaps you could just have a quick glance at my other posts.

I am more depressed than ever now to realise my mental health is worse than I thought.

For me looking forward to being old and invisible and 'safe' is clearly very unusual.

I was 'relieved' at having periods as it was one less thing to worry about I thought. I clearly shouldn't have used the word 'pleased' in my post although I guess that's how I felt when I typed it.

OP posts:
LittleJustice · 31/10/2025 12:13

Wow you got hammered for this post OP 😂

How very dare you be happy 😊

JinglingSpringbells · 31/10/2025 12:13

I am looking forward to being officially old but I think I might be 'unusual'

It's most certainly unusual because why would any one wish their life away?

What is 'officially old'?

The state pension will kick in for you at 67. But that doesn't mean you are old. Various concessions are sometimes available for entry to some places at 60, but not all.

I read somewhere some time back that most people (when asked) regarded 'old' as being over 79.

Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 12:16

Alpacajigsaw · 31/10/2025 12:11

I’m not attractive anyway 😂 I’m just ugly with dyed hair

Show quote history

The cruelty of humans never fails to amaze me.

It seems I have not worded my initial post very well or explained properly.

Hopefully I have now.

It amazes me that I still have the ability to be hurt by people but there you go.

Another one mother for you to recruit into your gang to remind me how ugly and worthless I am.

Good for you poster.

OP posts:
Empress13 · 31/10/2025 12:18

MiddleAgedDread · 30/10/2025 13:43

bravo, have a medal 🏅

Have 2 !!

Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 12:18

JinglingSpringbells · 31/10/2025 12:13

I am looking forward to being officially old but I think I might be 'unusual'

It's most certainly unusual because why would any one wish their life away?

What is 'officially old'?

The state pension will kick in for you at 67. But that doesn't mean you are old. Various concessions are sometimes available for entry to some places at 60, but not all.

I read somewhere some time back that most people (when asked) regarded 'old' as being over 79.

because when your life has been filled with cruelty, pain, suffering, humiliation, shame, etc death is a relief to be at peace. Thus wishing it away.

I guess it is good that you had to ask and that you didn't understand.

Old is when you lose your innocence/hope/faith.

OP posts:
Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 12:20

LittleJustice · 31/10/2025 12:13

Wow you got hammered for this post OP 😂

How very dare you be happy 😊

Don't worry I never have been.

At best short burst of hopefulness for a better life but usually that is kicked out of me by someone.

OP posts:
user2255679541 · 31/10/2025 12:20

JinglingSpringbells · 30/10/2025 18:33

@BruFord Sorry! The point still stands about calcium supplements though. Many drs are unaware of the newer research on using supplements.

As long as you get ENOUGH calcium from natural sources, that is what counts.
Women need around 700-1000mgs a day.

You can easily get that from eating half a pint of milk, yoghurt, cheese, greens, some dried fruits, oranges, sardines, beans and pulses. (not all of those every day!)

Lots of info online about which foods are calcium rich.

Edited
Show quote history

Eat your prunes

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35798020/

Prunes preserve hip bone mineral density in a 12-month randomized controlled trial in postmenopausal women: the Prune Study - PubMed

A 50-g daily dose of prunes can prevent loss of total hip BMD in postmenopausal women after 6 mo, which persisted for 12 mo. Given that there was high compliance and retention at the 50-g dosage over 12 mo, we propose that the 50-g dose represents a va...

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35798020/

JinglingSpringbells · 31/10/2025 12:22

user2255679541 · 31/10/2025 12:20

Show quote history

I do! But there are side effects 😂

Original poster
3StoneStillToGo · 31/10/2025 12:23

Arrrrrrragghhh · 30/10/2025 16:17

Mine stopped suddenly at 50. Brilliant I thought.
Sadly not.
Old age hit within 4 months. It was literally bonkers how my joints, skin and hair deteriorated so quickly.

I agree Op you are better off.

Thank you for your post.
I guess I was just happy to have something to be 'happy about'

Thanks for not posting anything horrible or mocking.

OP posts: