Possible early menopause - talk me down!

[HowdyParkner]

I'm 38, been suffering with vaginal dryness and tearing for 3 years. It used to just be occasional episodes but over the last year or so has got worse to the point it's pretty much a permanent feature. And the burning/stinging/itching! It's taking all my self control not to rip myself to shreds. I've seen several GPs and 2 gynaecologists in this time, always dismissed as some kind of sensitivity or allergy, or lichen sclerosis. I was just about ready to slap the next doctor that told me to wear cotton underwear and onlywas with water. One even suggested my husband and I just needed to try having sex in different positions to make it more comfortable. I've tried continual combinations of dermovate, barrier cream, vagisil, emollient, lubricant. Nothing relieves the pain and discomfort and it's affecting my mental health. Anyway, again over the last year my cycle has got shorter, but only by a couple of days, and I didn't have a period for 8 weeks in the summer. I know that's not extraordinary, but alongside other niggles and weird symptoms something was telling me something wasn't right (aside from the fanny burning). I've had night sweats for years and in the last couple of months my skin has felt prickly and itchy. It's so bad that today it's driving me mad.
I'm rambling...will try and get to the point now. I spoke to a menopause nurse who suspected the same as me - that I might be perimenopausal. She gave me the confidence to ask my GP to do a blood test, which was done on Monday. FSH came back abnormal - 30.1iu/L, but I don't know what that means. The doctors have given me a follow up appointment for next Tuesday to discuss. I'm relieved that I may be on the path to getting an answer to these awful symptoms but also now incredibly anxious about the wait until Tuesday. It's consuming my every thought and I'm swinging between feeling so angry and wanting to burst into tears. Could do with a hand-hold or talking down because I can't stay in this frame of mind until Tuesday.

Perimenopause can start at age 35 and can last up to 10 years, so 38 isn’t especial young, but the symptoms really are horrific, so you have my sympathy

Mine also started at 38 and I was a basket case by 40.

I will say that HRT does help an awful lot. I ended up having a total hysterectomy early 40’s, so my HRT will be different to yours, but even so, the dryness/itching etc has carried on for years and I did go on to develop LS.
I’ve finally found some additional relief with Ovesse topical oestrogen, but you have to be 50 for that, but do keep it in mind.

Hydromol ointment was quite good for the dryness before then, and the dr initially prescribed me Dermol 500 lotion to use as a wash. She told me to avoid anything that bubbles to wash with below the waist, so I wash with that and applied hydromol after showering. It really did help and I still use the Hydromol on the days I don’t use Ovesse. Maybe it’s worth a go to see if it works for you before you see the Dr? I’m sure even a few days improvement would be a huge relief.

I hope you get some answers and something that gives you relief. I’m so envious of all the women who just ‘sail through it’ because it’s a never ending nightmare for some of us.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply @heybert. I feel so lonely in all of this. My husband is being wonderfully supportive but I'm bored of hearing myself complain about how uncomfortable I am so I'm trying not to wear his patience thin too. My mum sailed through her menopause so continues to be sceptical about my situation. I will look into the Dermol 500 and other things you've recommended this evening. As you say, even a small bit of relief will make a big difference at this point.

Hi
First of all I think it's so so important to know you are not alone. I cannot recommend Davina McCall's book menopausing enough, I listened to it on audible and cried through most of it as it listed so many of my symptoms that I didn't even know were related to peri menopause. I think it's so important to have as much information as you possibly can to help you get the support you need.
It definitely sounds like vaginal estrogen may be something that you would benefit from.
The journey is not easy and it's a bit of a balancing act to get things right but there is an amazing community out there if you know the right people to follow on social media etc as I say Davina McCall is the queen of all things menopause so maybe start there and have a bit of knowledge before your next appointment it just gives you more confidence to ask about different options etc.
Keep well xx

Thank you @lindylou82, I will definitely check out that book. Like you say, there can be so many random symptoms it's hard to no what's (possibly) perimenopause and what isn't. Thanks again for your kind reply x

Hi OP, I will probably get flamed for this but I was told to use hydrocortisone by a gynaecologist. Was told it was safe to do so and it helped enormously. I also used Dove soap which helped to soothe the problem. I was around your age at the time, it is a long time ago and I am still in peri so I doubt that was the reason for me but those things really helped.

I am the exact opposite. I have become too lubricated.between that and my period lasting for months at a time it’s just awful down there. The noise when I stand up is embarrassing

indont have any advice. I just wanted to send u a virtual hug to say you are not alone. Xxx

@crowonabranch I'm willing to try anything at this point, so thanks for the suggestion!
@Andtheworldwentwhite that sounds awful! Sending a virtual back back your way. I feel there is so little personal dignity in being a woman sometimes

OP I hope someone who's more knowledgeable will come along with some expertise soon, as I can only speak from personal experience and research - but a few thoughts to add:

38 is not too early for perimenopause and the symptoms you're describing sound consistent with wonky hormones

Blood tests are notoriously unreliable - so keep pushing, even if any further tests state your hormones are 'normal' - symptoms should be enough and your symptoms are definitely affecting your mental health, your relationship and your quality of life - make sure you emphasise this to GPs and health professionals.

It does sound like you might benefit from topical oestrogen (and as far as I'm aware you don't have to be over 50, despite what a PP has said??) - that made a big difference for me, although it's not an instant fix - make sure you do a loading dose, stick with it, and adjust as necessary - some people use it more frequently than others.

I can second using Hydromol in addition to topical oestrogen - good for the days in between applications - it can be used liberally as needed, and is soothing, not stingy. You can get it over the counter and I think it's available on prescription (it is where I am anyway), so ask about that too.

I hope you get some treatment and relief very soon

OB yes lube is v helpful

It may be worth asking your GP to check your prolactin level. High prolactin will give menopause symptoms but it is a pseudo menopause. Prolactinoma ( benign micro tumours of the pituitary gland) are thought to be more common than occurrence levels suggest because they present as peri menopause in women.
Mine was diagnosed in my early 20s because it was obviously not peri menopause. But for women in late 30s and 40s it is often missed.
HRT will mask the symptoms further, and for most who remain undiagnosed the prolactinoma often burn themselves out after menopause.
Maybe worth googling symptoms to see if they match your symptoms since they are a weird collection.

Davina McCall has since been diagnosed with brain cysts. Many of her meno symptoms were actually due to the cysts which had been growing since childhood. It probably explains why she found that HRT wasn’t successful at low dose and why she embarked on her crusade. She did a fantastic job to raise awareness but ultimately her struggle wasn’t entirely down to menopause.
Unfortunately many women experience concurrent conditions that are often undiagnosed because they are at perimenopausal age.

Thank you to everyone for your helpful replies and advice, I feel stronger and less alone today than I did before the weekend. I'm going to sit down this evening and do a bit of research and make lots of notes ready for my doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Your experience with your GP does not sound great. You shouldn’t have to suffer with this discomfort. Look up vaginal atrophy - if you look for Dr Nighat on YouTube or IG, she has some really good guidance and explanatory videos about this stuff. Also download the Balance menopause app and look at the Dr Louise Newson IG. If it is that that you are struggling with (and it’s coming for us all, so you aren’t alone!) then topical oestrogen is the treatment, even if you do not opt for any other HRT. If it’s not that, those resources may give you some other advice on questions to ask. Unfortunately (and bloody exhaustingly), with anything women’s health related, being armed with some knowledge or questions ahead of time can really help. The idea that women should just have to crack on with this and put up with it, is just madness. Good luck with your appointment!

Me again - she has loads of little short videos on various topics. Here’s one which may be helpful on YouTube but there are lots. Obviously it may not be this, but at least you can ask questions around it.

I could have written this word for ore. Also 38.

re vaginal dryness and soreness etc I feel you so much have had this issue for YEARS! Have finally managed to get on top of it with 1) yes vaginal moisturiser. 2) oestrogen pessaries from GP. 3) Yes lube when having sex 3) cotton pants 4) no perfume etc down there. The pessaries really were the turning point after trying all the things you have listed. I went to GP and basically begged for them and they prescribed them and was a game changer.

i also have awful hormone fluctuations and my periods are horrendous. I’ve just had second FSH test done and waiting for appointment to discuss results. I also have an appointment to have a minima coil fitted to see if that will help. I don’t need the contraception my husband has the snip it’s more that the dr said this was the ‘gold standard’ in helping with perimenopause.

maybe worth considering?