To be liking my own company

[YellowZebraStripes]

I'm in the beginning of peri I think as I have a month or two where my hormones go nuts then it seems to settle down.

Main issue was a sudden drop in mood around ovulation and when I come on - only way I can describe is feeling like it was 20 degrees, lovely and sunny, then the next you wake up, its minus 4, raining and you're still wearing your ballet flats from the day before 😂

Anyway I digress, I am really, like really, liking my own company. Like, I don't think anyone else's company is that appealing to be around. I've been cracking on with personal projects, like paying off my debts, getting organised on work projects, decluttering, and generally just enjoying sitting outside when I get the chance. The main 'hobby' I have if you can call it that is mumsnetting, and reading the news.

I feel like I'm calmly making progress towards goals for first time in ages rather than feeling stressed and running between crises.

When I do reach out to wider family, and try and share how much I'm enjoying this, they don't really seem to care. I've got some time off coming up and am having a stay-cation - I somehow feel like I've had to justify it to wider family as they expect me to use my time off to see them (I am seeing them at a later date).

I'm sure that I will feel like doing more stuff in future but honestly am really enjoying getting things done in peace and quiet, and not having to justify myself.

I feel like I need to secretly enjoy it though as its not done thing to say it out loud 😂

I think that’s great OP and I feel a little bit the same, I think you get to a certain stage of life (likely peri !) and you feel you can rightfully prioritise yourself. And not care as much about what others think. And also actually like yourself and be content ! It’s actually a great achievement 👏

I think some of it is our age and we just get fed up of caring about other people and we start for once to prioritise ourselves and what we want.

I’ve done the same. It started a 3-4 years ago when I just stopped giving a fuck about other people, their problems and issues, what they said that offended me, what they wanted or what they did or or where they went. It was liberating.
and like you I made my world smaller and have really made progress on my own self development. My retirement plan is on track, I’m fitter.

definitely the best part of perimenopause. The rest of it however, is shitty.

Do your own thing, enjoy your own company, do what makes you happy, always.

Thank you for sharing and for the feedback! Nice to hear someone being positive about it 😂

I was just reflecting that I was casually seeing someone who wasn't very good for me - that may also be part of it - am rediscovering simple joyfulness.

Enjoy! A growing number of people young and old are feeling the same way, not just women reaching menopause. It’s heightened since the lockdowns when a many not on the frontlines had the chance to feel what it’s like to just “be” with no expectations.

I'm a bit like this. But I'm.trting stay socail. It's good cognition to be socail. I also worry a bit about getting demented young. So I'm being socail. I definitely crave it and enjoy it less now. I find being socail more draining than I used too

Yes I agree that its good. I've been reading more about social connections being preventative against cognitive decline.

I think at the moment I'm really enjoying decluttering and organising though. Maybe I'm starting autumnal nesting? 😂

I’m the same. I think I’ve always been like this but felt the pressure of having to socialise before. Now I’m 54 I don’t and it’s very liberating. Generally I limit myself to one social thing a week (daytime coffee/meet up with another friend) and otherwise enjoy doing things mostly by myself or with husband/ grown up daughter. I love knitting, reading, gardening, organising my home and love going out for solitary walks with my dogs. I can now see, many years ago when I was younger, the constant expected pressure to be sociable & interested in other people’s human drama caused me quite a lot of mental exhaustion and anxiety. I think on the inside I’ve always been in my 50s, and now my age actually matches up, it’s lovely to have the pressure of expectation lifted and I love it. Always prefer doing stuff in the daytime, evening events are rare and again I don’t think this is an age thing, as before I just felt pressurised to do more in the evening. Interesting thought that maybe the pandemic made us value time alone more. I think being socially self sufficient is a gift, my Sister is the opposite and needs constant friends/social interactions or she gets depressed. Literally I’m never bored alone, always got something to focus on and do.