Is it menopause, weight gain, depression or autistic burnout?

[Tentaupebottles653]

Causing my overwhelming fatigue, brain fog, aching limbs, intolerance to stress, and general loss of enthusiasm about life? And faltering executive function? It’s been gradually getting worse over the last five years to the extent that I had to resign from my pt job.

How do you know and who do you go and see? 62 year old female. Grown up dc who have left home, Recently retired. Volunteer, Generally ok life.

I am worried I will just get stuck on ADs if I go and see my GP? But maybe I need them? I don’t like the idea of taking them. When I have seen my gp they put all of my symptoms down to weight gain. Or depression. Maybe they are right? But the appointments are very hurried and perfunctory.

I feel ok not despairing or anything but I procrastinate and just want to spend my time sleeping or alone. My relationships and house are suffering.

I don’t feel particularly sad just meh inside. Small tasks seem overwhelming. Like I am wading through treacle. I’m existing not living. I need to get my mo-jo back!

It was so bad I paid privately to go and see a psychiatrist a couple of years ago who said almost nothing for 45 mins while I described my symptoms and he then accepted a wodge of cash and that was that!

I went to a psychologist and after eight weeks on and off of testing they said I had all the criteria to be autistic but that they don’t do formal diagnoses. I have had a lot of anxiety and sensory issues all of my life but that was a bit of a surprise tbh. Can symptoms of ASD get worse after menopause? My sensory issues definitely have as I can no longer bare certain materials on my skin or certain sounds and find being even mildly sociable beyond draining.

I had a full hysterectomy and ovaries removed seven years ago and was given some hormone gel to use but no instructions, no guidance, no follow up, so I didn’t continue taking it as I felt fine then.

Now I have piled on weight, esp boobs and belly, have a lot of hair on my chin, am losing hair on my head. Can’t think of words. I’m nearly four stone overweight, hungry all of the time. My joints ache. But mostly I am TIRED. For the past two years, I could sleep all day, every day, All I think of is my bed and clean sheets. I wake up tired.

Can a kind person who has been through similar please explain the sequential first steps I need to take to drag myself out of this hole please?

I have lost all confidence in myself and I am so embarrassed about this because from the outside I have a nice life, so I have hidden the extent of how I feel from family and friends. My dh has obviously noticed! Friends look shocked at my bloated physical appearance but I steer them away from any personal chit chat. And I generally avoid people if I can or put on an “enthusiastic” act when I see them and then sleep for two days afterwards. It’s very stressful pretending.

The thing is I can just about pay to see people privately and I know I am lucky but the professionals I see don’t seem to be offering answers either!

Intellectually and rationally, I know this isn’t normal but physically I can’t seem to get my act together! Everything seems such an effort. Part of me thinks there won’t be a miraculous cure I just need to live with it,

In my shoes, what would you do please and where would you start?

Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading if you have got his far!

I'm sorry you're struggling. I'm 48, likely autistic and perimenopausal. I had a breakdown last year, and from what I've read, sensory issues can become more difficult to manage during peri/menopause.

Have you had a blood test recently? If not I'd strongly suggest getting one, and requesting full thyroid and vitamin D testing, possibly the test for diabetes. All can contribute to brain fog, aches, low mood etc. If you're a smoker, nicotine inhibits the TSH results, so you need to be nicotine free for 24 hours. (I'm a former smoker, which is why I'm adding this, sorry if it's not relevant but mine was "normal-range" until i quit smoking and it was suddenly 9 times higher)

I've also found antidepressants have been helpful to get out of the low moods. Therapy-wise I've not had much success. Though if I tried again, I'd look for those that are experienced with ND adults.

If you want to explore an official diagnosis, then I'd go ahead with an assessment. I'm doing so via my GP. I know people can get quite animated about adult diagnosis, but I have struggled my whole life, and I'd rather my medical records are an accurate reflection. Particularly if I think too long about needing care in the future.

I've rambled terribly which isn't at all helpful 🙈

1. get blood tests and specifically ask for Thyroid, Vitamin D and diabetes
2. consider medication for anxiety/depression
3. if you want to pursue an ASD assessment, go for it. If you go private, make sure they offer a full assessment and potential to diagnose, not just a screening

Maybe your HRT needs a review? I have a suspicion this could be the key. You are not using the gel you were given due to lack of adequate explanation.

Sounds like classic menopause to me. HRT will be your friend here.

Of course it could be something else but given your age and symptoms it sounds right. Have a look at a menopause symptom checker on line. Tick the ones you have and take it to your GP. You were prescribed HRT in the past but didn't take it-the instructions for use are on the leaflet but you shoukd have been told what dose to take at least.

Thank you for responses.

Just to be clear, I did take all the tubes of HRT (about eight) I was prescribed and I should have followed up when they ran out.

I didn’t though because I didn’t really have much info to go on and I didn’t have any menopausal symptoms then! Duh! This admittedly was a pretty stupid mistake on my part looking back but the gynaecologist who carried out my hysterectomy didn’t seem particularly keen on HRT and told me to come back in a year!

I will go to the gp for a full blood test thank you and start from there.

I’m not a drinker or smoker no.

One question; can you mix HRT with ADs or is it best to take one at once to see which works?

My other question is; aren’t you meant to have come out the other side of menopause after seven years?

There's no other side to menopause - you're in menopause for rest of your life because the disappeared hormones don't ever come back

it sounds like classic menopause - have a look at HRT again. You can mix AD & HRT but you may find that if you get the right HRT you won't need them 🙂

@Tentaupebottles653 peri menopause can take up to ten years in some cases. I would definitely get your thyroid levels checked as under active thyroid can cause similar symptoms to the menopause. Good luck and please keep us updated x

I tried HRT before my breakdown and was also prescribed antidepressants at the same time. I really didn't get along with the HRT (was patches).

It may be they advise HRT as the first-line, and revist antidepressants etc afer a set period, if you're still experiencing symptoms, I guess depends on your history (I've been on and off antidepressants for 25+ years)

Could be burnout. I am late 50s, post menopausal and diagnosed with autism and ADHD and I recognise what you describe. However, I also have ME/CFS, which is probably rather common with neurodivergence. (I say 'probably' because I have asked all sorts of health professionals if there is a link and they say that they think anecdotally there is but there is not much scientific evidence.)

So it could also be ADHD which if left undiagnosed and untreated becomes more difficult to deal with. According to my (very very experienced) psychiatrist everyone who is autistic can be diagnosed witb ADHD. It is more important to get an ADHD diagnosis because it is treatable with medication and it is very effective. Since I have been on medication, I have done much less procrastinating and get things done much more easily.

It could also be ME/CFS. Have a look at the ME Association website and see if it sounds like a possibility.

Hope this is not too shocking. Feel free to DM if you like

My premenopause started two years ago and I have adhd. It was unbearable and I was ignoring friends and family and couldn’t function. The weight gain and chaos were making my life unbearable.

I went up to 15 stone and last year after asking my GP for HRT for 2 years I finally got through to them and said it was my right under the WHO regulations to be given HRT. I also started mounjaro and have lost 6 stone.

it’s been a year and life feels better and I feel more me!

Are you on HRT?

I’m truly grateful to everyone who has responded. .

I’m still a bit confused tbh but I think the only way is to address all of the possibilities one by one.

I am usually a very positive person and don’t look for problems, so this has thrown me really as it is the first time in my life that I have felt that I need some outside advice and help.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply.

I am not neurodiverse but have been through the menopause. I had blood tests a few months ago and discovered I was low in iron. A week on feroglobin and the brain fog has gone. I am not on HRT.

You may have a very different issue, but it is definitely a good idea to get tests done and seek help as post menopause things are definitely different for many women but we shouldn't just assume it is something to put up with.

So much of what you describe has been my life for the past 18 months. I went to the GP when the anxiety, lack of interest in life and feeling "meh" became too much. I was prescribed CBT therapy and beta blockers. The CBT didn't help much and I only took one betablocker when I was having a really bad day.

The nurse I saw said it was unlikely to be menopause because I wasn't having hot flushes! After a whole range of blood tests to rule out other things I was offered HRT. It completely changed my life. I described it to DH as if I had spent months walking around with a big heavy blanket draped over me and someone had lifted it off.

Then the HRT went out of stock, I was given an alternative and bang, back to square one. So so anxious, it was starting to scare me. At last I think I might have got the right HRT gel and the right dose, things are finally improving again.

So yes it could be menopause but it could also be other things (I also have an under active thyroid). Being that tired is not OK, get an appointment and don't let them fob you off!

Catching up!

I’m so sorry you have been through this too
LoveBeingAMum555,
obviously, I totally sympathise!

It’s fascinating and obviously very helpful to read about everyone’s similar but rather different experiences!

Shmoigel
I’m a bit scared of Mountjaro but so happy it worked for you! I do think excess weight is contributing a lot to these issues though.

Thank you again everyone!

Have you been tested for iron anemia, OP?

sorry I can't help with personal experiences. My version of menopause involves unrealistic optimism & positivity, high energy levels and a bit of ADHD. I DO have hot flushes here and there. No biggie.

You should try doing some tai chi or qigong.
Really good you need to do it regularly but also might help with weight loss.You'd feel better do it a few times a week.

I’m 46, ADHD and autistic and having looked into this, it could be a variety of factors. For example, I am aware that oestrogen regulates the amount of dopamine you can access. Therefore, it’s not uncommon for those who have ADHD for example to suffer more debilitating symptoms during menopause and Per menopause.
In addition to this, if you suffer with Chronic fatigue, autoimmune disorders, have low vitamin D, low testosterone and low iron, these can all impact alongside thyroid. Frankly, I’ve stopped asking what it is. I’m trying to make sure the levels that I have or as optimal as possible. One thing I have tried is RHEAL which is the only thing that seems to have made a real difference. I take the hormonal one once a day along with supplements such as vitamin D iron and K2. I feel much better now, but I’m also on HRT. I’ll go for a regular blood tests, and tweak what I take accordingly. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, but if you get your levels optimal, it should help.

This list is proving to be so useful; thank you so much! 🙏