I started taking HRT after family trauma, I had it sitting in my cupboard already, it was this or anti depressants, I was desperate. Before the trauma I had menopause symptoms but they were bearable, I was ok really. I was very happy with my body, exercised and ate a very healthy diet. I started on Evrol50 combined patches (and phsycho therapy) which I used for the first couple of weeks and instantly had extreme water retention and weight gain - my usual up the hill bouncy dog walk turned into a slog! Mentally it helped me instantly, not short tempered with the kids or hubby and just chilling out over everything. But the weight went on and on, then the headaches, cravings of carbs in the afternoon, crazy long sleeps. I cut the patches in half and started testosterone. Seemed to make a slight difference, but if I took a bit too much testosterone I took everyone out in my way, quite scary. I tried and tried and I tried, changing, combing etc. I went over red lights when driving in my hrt daze, had eggs exploding in the kitchen and suddenly realised this is dangerous, plus I was not myself anymore. I was pacified (which I needed at the time). I weened myself off and now after 6 months being off HRT I feel myself again (mentally), no more rage, early waking or anxiety, just sweats and feeling hot. But I feel like my body has been destroyed. Up by 10kg, big tummy, boobs and bum, wobbly, watery legs. Never in my life was my body in this state, not even after pregnancy. I have lost the love for my body, for feeling sexy, for enjoying clothes and feeling fun. I have healed from my ptsd I feel, so I’ll take it and start from here. Exercise, fasting, running and trying to love my body again. I will NEVER go on HRT again however as I became a dangerous person in my daze, loosing control over everything, including finances (lost 10k- kids loved it) was on drugs - like I might as well have been smoking dope everyday. Just a chilled mum who’s cool with everything! ☮️