Second round of finding DH repulsive

[greatyak]

Im in my very late 50s. Not unusually in my late 40s I struggled terribly with perimenopause. Anxiety, sweats, moods, lost libido, overwhelm. You know the story.

went on HRT. Things improved immediately. After a couple of years I added testosterone to see if I could reignite my libido. Helped enormously.

now maybe 6 or so years later I’m finding some unpleasant things rearing their head. In particular the misophonia (every sound he makes is giving me the rage) and the incredibly sudden and complete drop off in libido. More than that he’s giving me serious ick.

I love this man. He is an absolute gem. I’m a lucky lucky woman. I don’t want to feel like this. What can I do? Increase my estrogen? Testosterone? I can’t live like this feeling rage at his breathing, repulsed at everything he does and icked out by the thought of sex. I don’t like me like this.

Check in with your doctor, and consider therapy to learn coping mechanisms for some of your systems. Good luck, and hang in there!

Very little is spoken about post menopause.

Possibly your HRT needs increasing.

Or maybe your relationship has run its course...

I don’t think it’s the relationship. DH is the most amazing man and husband. I genuinely can’t imagine growing old without him. He is kind and funny and smart and loving. And the suddenness of how I am feeling is exactly like last time when I was in peri. And once I started HRT I was back to loving him and us. There hasn’t been any slow build up of resentment etc. It definitely feel hormonal.
Why would nature do this to us?

Oh my days. I know I'm very late to this but I could have written this myself. It's awful feeling this way, I wish I didn't. I feel like I may push him away before long with my inane bitching about every other thing he does 🫣

I think it would be worth exploring your feelings more before hoping/assuming you can just throw hormones at them and they'll go away.

IS he actually annoying? Are you dissatisfied in general? Presumably he's experiencing his own age-related decline too, physically and mentally, which could be affecting your attraction to him.

In short - be sure that this is actually a you problem not a him/relationship problem.

🧟‍♀️