I feel completely out of control

[MorningSunlight]

Recently I feel like I’m spiralling - I’m drinking too much and can’t remember things afterwards, every day I tell myself I’m going to eat sensibly and start losing the weight I’ve put on, I buy healthy food then can’t be bothered to cook it so just have toast or binge on rubbish. I’m not sleeping properly and I wake up in a panic in the small hours. My moods are all over the place - I’m in floods of tears one minute and raging and angry the next, rarely calm or settled. All I want to do is get into bed and hide - I often do even in the middle of the day.

I’ve had a series of stressful events and life doesn’t seem to be getting any easier - could it be due to this? Or is it my age? I’m 52 and on the pill so no idea if I still have periods or not. I feel like I’m going mad 😢

Are you in contact with your GP? You say you're on the Pill. Is this the combined pill? I thought the cut-off age was 50- is that not correct?

I'd really suggest you go and talk to your GP, be honest about your drinking, ask for help and discuss HRT. It may well help all your symptoms and maybe they can also refer you for some support through CBT or counselling.

Start by completely cutting out the alcohol, it will help. Get out for walks in the fresh air amongst nature. Maybe talk to a therapist to process the stressful events & offload it. These things combined should help. Wish you the best x

Thank you for posting this, I feel exactly the same and don't know what the GP can offer.

I have regular pill reviews with a nurse at my practice and they’re happy for me to still be on this pill - I’ve never heard that I shouldn’t.

I’m sorry others feel the same way as me 😔

I'd say alcohol is not your friend here. I'm.not being critical as I do the same with food. Is there anyone who can help.you try to.eliminate this? As for the life events have you got any emotional support if not, consider getting some professional help. GP for menopause issues OP. I have had a major life event, have been.told I was depressed and also gave health issues. I've been reluctant to ask for HRT. Don't know why as i know many people who are on it. Be kind to yourself.

Agree with PP, alcohol is making everything a whole lot worse especially sleep and mood. I would start by cutting that out then hopefully better sleep and more energy will follow.

Hi op. You sound very much like I did 3 years ago. I ended up having a complete breakdown and having to have a month off work. For me it's not been the silver bullet I hoped but stopping drinking alcohol was the first step to getting better. It meant I had more clarity and was calmer when dealing with the day to day stress of work, running the house and parenting 3 dcs (all primary age at the time and one with special needs). It also spurred me to get an appointment with a HRT consultant and while it's been a very rocky road getting the dose right, I'm relatively stable now. Food and exercise I'm not great on, but I've never been, I do try not to beat myself up when I have a week of eating shite and not getting on the exercise bike! I would also recommend cutting out coffee, it's helped me hugely.

I’m worried about going to the GP as I know they’ll nag me about my weight and I don’t think my BP is great either. I don’t feel like I can face trying different medications and I don’t want anti depressants. I’ve had counselling several times but it just feels like talking about things I can’t change.

Seriously, you need to see your GP. Do you have a history of high BP? Are you taking it a t home?

You're in danger of being very unwell if you're drinking a lot , are overweight , have high blood pressure - and are on the Pill. Your risk of a stroke and heart disease is raised.

Which Pill are you on? What's the name? If it's the mini pill that's allowed over 50 but the cut-off age for the combined Pill is 50. If you have high BP you should not be on the combined pill anyway, even under 50.

Don't just take the word of the nurse- she may be wrong.

HRT which is allowed even if you're overweight.
Everything you've described about your mood is classic peri menopause.
HRT is not 'medication' like other drugs because it's replacing your own natural hormones and most of it now is made from yams.

Maybe also contact Drink Aware of Al Anon and start talking to someone at a support line to get help?

You say you feel out of control- take some small steps to taking that control back. At the moment, your drinking is in control of you.

No one's going to judge you but you have to take the first step to ask for help.

Do you have a partner or children at home? Does anyone else know how you're feeling- friends etc? Colleagues?

Thank you that’s a really kind message and has given me a lot to think about. I do have a very supportive partner but we don’t live together, my DD left home last year. I’m in that classic place of juggling elderly relatives, empty nest, stepchildren, a stressful job and midlife 🤦🏻

My pill is Desogestrel.

That's the mini pill so you're okay on it.

For information, if you need HRT you can use a mini pill (usually Noriday) in a larger dose, as part of HRT - the pill gives you the progesterone you need and the estrogen part can be gel or a patch (in case you want to pursue this.)

Your drinking- it really might help to look at the Drink Aware website and work through their assessments of your drinking. It'll help you get some 'reality' into what's going on. If you're losing your memory after drinking, that's pretty serious - it implies you're drinking to the point of blackout. https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/

Please don't be ashamed- there is help out there and no one will judge you.

At the same time, do consider talking to your GP about HRT.

I have just messaged them, thank you x