Really angry at the moment

[DustyLee123]

Already on HRT but really angry at the moment. Adult child still living at home getting on my nerves, DH can’t do anything right, elderly father a stress and worry.
Going to the gym today, so hopefully will feel better after that, but I need to get rid of this and find my happy. I can’t remember the last time I was happy.

Me too! Im a very peaceful and chilled person usually.
one of my friends loves the new me- as I actually stand up for myself now.
I’m not so sure- don’t really trust myself not to say the wrong thing that I would regret!

Can you go away by yourself on a mini break?

I already feel lonely in this journey of menopause , I don’t think going away alone would help. It’s like I want everyone to go away, but I dont want to be alone. I can’t win!
I want to be happy again, but I don’t seem to be able to.

Oh. I go away alone all the time. Helps me a lot. I too have an adult DC at home.
Do you have the time and money for a joyous hobby like painting, pottery or choir? The gym is too worthy!

No, I don’t have a hobby. I’m either working, cleaning ( as retired DH doesn’t but that’s a whole other thread!) or seeing DF. But I do like going to the gym.

I can certainly see why you are irritable with a retired DH and an adult child and an elderly father. I find I need a lot of time to myself these days. Long solitary walks in the park, swimming, even going to the cinema or theatre on my own.

Your oestrogen is declining and you no longer want to look after everyone.

‘’Your oestrogen is declining and you no longer want to look after everyone‘’
absolutely. DD doesn’t have many friends so uses me for attention, and I get tired of being entertaining for her, I just want to watch old TV programmes and relax. DH makes the place dirty, but if I say anything I’m nagging, and I don’t want to clean up after another adult any more.
On the one hand I wish they’d both piss off and leave me alone, but on the other hand I feel lonely, and it’s a hard place to be.

I came off HRT after a few months because it made me so irritable and fly off the handle. Did much better off it

I wonder if you feel lonely because you have never learnt to be on your own?

The beauty (or pitfall) of menopause is that it changes your brain.

It often takes away some of the automatic, inbuilt nurturing that is genetically built in in most women.

Many of us re-evaluate our lives at menopause and realise we are not living the life we want or deserve.

Anger would seem to be a justifiable and normal response to this. Just because you used to put up with this, doesn’t mean you should continue to do so.

So you need to have a hard look at your life and decide if this anger is telling you it’s time to change things up. This may be the new you for the rest of your life, and medicating it away may not be doing you the justice you deserve in the long run.

Or you’ve just become a bitey, angst driven, angry menopausal mad hag!!!! It’s up to you to decide.

Best of luck. There’s many of us who have been through this, and we like having less fucks to give.

Worth going back to get your HRT tweaked?

I’m an only child, plus DH worked away, so I’m ok on my own. It’s a feeling of loneliness that has come with peri I think.

I do wonder if trying to medicate my anger is the right thing.

Do they do boxercise at your gym?
punching a bag is great for angry feelings!

I really don't go for this 'estrogen makes us caring, loss of estrogen changes that.'

I think it's just as we get older we decide that some things aren't acceptable any more and we tolerate less. Marriages get stale, adult children at home can be a PITA, it's just life!

You’d be restoring your natural hormones to what they were before menopause. Modern HRT is body-identical, often made from yams and other plants.

I took some time to sit and think about why I was angry. And a lot of it was about not wanting to look after people any more. So I put some thought into how I could sort that. I stopped doing so much of the thinking and sorting of the food, 'what's for tea tonight' was met by 'I don't know, what are you cooking?'. We could afford a cleaner, so we got one. I stopped doing so much stuff other people wanted me to do and did what I wanted to do.

I talked with my DH about it (he was frankly terrified) - and the HRT helped me - but it can't solve all the problems in your life - just maybe takes the edge off.

I can't take HRT anymore but a lot of the anger has gone.

Exactly what I have done too.
You could start by not entertaining your DD so much?
I have stopped trying to fix stuff for everyone. They are adults.

Your poor dd, does she know that that you find her company irritating? How old is she?

Go for long walks with your favourite playlist blasting to invigorate you. Do nice things with your dd, go for coffee and cake as a treat.

Get a cleaner?

It isn't easy as we get older, we get tired and intolerant. It isn't all the menopause though, it's just life. Just manage your expectations a bit, feeling happy everyday is maybe a stretch though. Try to focus on positive stuff .

You don't have a meno problem- you have an H problem! This isn't going to be sorted with HRT.

Honestly, I'd put my foot down. You're not nagging - you want someone who does their fair share of chores. make a list and decide who's doing what.

Why does your daughter have no friends or social life?
Has she been to uni and come home- or never been away? Does she work or go to college? Maybe focus on helping her to be independent not being dependent on you- that's not a healthy way to live.

Taking menopace really helps my mood. I notice myself getting irritable and down when I miss a day or two.