Peri, Depression, Dementia?

[PrincessOfPreschool]

My concentration is gone I can't even read a book anymore. If I play a game on my phone, I play it for about 10 mins max

I am really struggling in social situations. In a room full of people, I don't know where to start, who to talk to and I'm often standing alone whilst everyone talks to each other. I used to be an extrovert.

After any meeting or social event (anything out of the norm of my daily existence), I replay it in my head constantly, especially at night. Everything that was said, what I said, whether it came across wrongly. I will wish I had said this, that or the other but didn't think of it in time, as if my processing is very slow.

My memory is very bad. I struggle to remember certain things even from the previous day unless I've written them down. Eg. Things that have happened with children I work with, need to constantly note it down.

I feel very overwhelmed and can't make decisions. I have always been very decisive and used to struggle to unsustainable why people couldn't make decisions. It's like a constant doubt that I'll make the wrong decision (buying anything: a holiday, a night in a hotel, driving lessons for my son, skincare for myself etc. Anything out of my normal routine - I can but food for myself).

I am currently taking anti depressants and have been for about 18 years on and off (mostly on). My angry got very out of control in December so I went back on Ads after a while being off them and it's really helped that but nothing else has changed for the better.

Periods still very regular.

Is any of this familiar to anyone? I'm quite worried about early onset dementia as I feel so unlike myself though it's happened gradually over a couple of years.

This really resonates with me. I have started worrying I have dementia. I struggle to retain information, am very indecisive, I get upset if plans / routine changes, concentration is shot. If I am in a work meeting I struggle to think on the spot and panic that I look stupid. I worry after social events that I have said / done the wrong thing. I can't spell as well as I used to either 😢

How old are you op?

My periods are mainly regular with the odd missing one

You can be peri with regular periods! Sounds very much like peri symotoms.

HRT has fixed it but it took a while to staircase to a dose that works for me.

I'm 51. Still very regular. The other day I drove off from the petrol station without paying 😲. Luckily I realised v quickly and went back but cashier was calling the police. She wasn't that impressed with my apology and I had STARES from all the customers.

This resonates with me too. I used to be quite clever! I despair at my brain and lack of concentration these days.

I’ve heard that thinking you are developing dementia is common during peri and it really does feel like that!

I'm 49 and have stopped having periods (I think). For the last year or so I do things like making myself a cup of coffee, putting it on my desk, then making myself a coffee, putting it on my desk and being surprised there is already a coffee there. I really hope it is menopause and not dementia.

My mind is very busy and full also and I do forget what I am talking about sometimes or forget names, and get brain fog.

I think my brain is like an old Windows PC in a fast processor world. It can store rather a lot, but sometimes runs a bit slow, does not always run the most up to date programs, and several times a week if you ask too much if it you get the blue screen of death.

Thanks for reassurance that it's not just me. I did scare myself with the petrol but hopefully I'll be ultra vigilant with that particular thing now.

I'll put your mind at rest. Forgetting things is probably age related. Dementia is doing things like putting your keys in the fridge or when you find things forgetting what they're for.

I find I have a very selective memory dome things I can remember but other things go in one ear and out the other.

I am 47. My memory started being shocking around 41 I think. I can't even remember this 🙈 But it's only in the last 12 months I have started skipping the odd period and experiencing worse symptoms. It's very scary.

I ran out of time in an exam today (48) all the younger folk had finished and most had left the exam. I just can’t process as quickly. It’s horrible.

Oh OP I feel like I could be you but you’ve written it up so perfectly , I literally am a husk of who I used to be and I don’t know what to do about it

I hate that we are all sitting here worrying we are developing dementia and having so much of our life’s just being crushed by this

This is me. It depresses me so much. I'm sitting here looking at my friend's birthday present, which should have been delivered directly to her on Saturday but I forgot to change the delivery address so it came to me instead. Stupid stuff like that, all the damn time. I'm 53 and I feel as if I've aged a decade mentally in the past two years.

Thank you thank you thank you for posting. I am exactly the same socially, concentration wise, memory wise etc etc. I am a shadow of who i used to be no matter what tweaks I make to oestrogen, progesterone, testosterone, ads etc etc. It's like being outside the snow globe looking in at everyone getting on with their lives and just not being able to join them.

I wish it were different for us all.

Ask for some blood tests - I have low B12 and folate levels and a lot of what you've mentioned can be symptoms of that.

Sounds like perimenopause. HRT solved all my symptoms. Regular periods are no indication you aren't perimenopausal.

You don't need blood tests, HRT is prescribed on symptoms.

Yes. It's very alarming. I tried to drive off in someone's car last summer thinking it was mine. I had parked up at services for the 59th million wee of the day, came out, and got into what I thought was my car (same make, model, colour.) As I was shutting the door, the owner approached (also a middle aged lady, thank goodness) and asked me why I was in her car. Reader, I sat in the driver seat witg the belt on and replied patiently it was actually my car. Only when I got out and look at the reg plate I knew I'd made a mistake. Bless her she was so kind, even accompanied me to my car 😂 and we talked hrt. I was and am on it but still I feel the old me is lost and this is my new normal. Poor DH.

Thank you everyone. Part of the distress was not knowing what it is and feeling so alone. I'm 'glad' I'm not the only one, but sorry you are feeling it.

I hear you OP, it is frustrating especially at work. I tend to procrastinate and second guess myself a lot it takes so much more energy to focus and stay on track. The effort of having to concentrate twice as hard is exhausting which in turn makes everything worse and leaves me wiped out. I then lie awake replaying things in my head and thinking about how I should be doing things better. HRT has improved things a little but I am still not what I used to be. A few years ago none of this was an issue and I slept like a log no matter what.

Saying hello to you all, hope your week is going OK. Was wondering if your extreme symptoms come in waves as mine do. Sometimes manageable and sometimes hide in a cave somewhere until better day comes. Presume it's like the pmdd type cycle but based on the element of surprise rather than 28 days

I saw a fab GP about perimenopause today and she said one of the ways to tell the difference between PM 'brain fog' & dementia
Is think about it like you've parked your car in a car park - PM is not remembering where it's parked, dementia is more like being stood right next to your car and not remembering/realising it's your car
My mum has late stage dementia & that resonates

She was great at listening & explaining everything very clearly, she said I'm a good candidate for HRT, gave me options and I'm starting now, reviewing in 3mths - it was a really good experience much better than my previous discussion with another GP, glad the practice nurse pushed me to try again.
🤞I feel more human again soon.

@SilverGlitterBaubles could have written your post. It’s so exhausting, isn’t it!?
I think about work all of the time, never feeling like I’ve done something well enough. Not helped by the fact that I’m self employed, so constantly on high alert, and trying to impress clients, but these days I just don’t feel like I’m very good at my job anymore.
Also, having The Rage frequently (especially with patronising men in meetings) doesn’t help!

Oh the rage! I had the rage with all the MAMILs out today blocking the national speed limit road, whilst I'm driving my son to work. I came across at least 15 groups. If had forgotten how bad Sunday is for that.

Definitely going to make an appointment to see the GP about getting HRT.
For those of you on it, how long does it take to have an effect? Side effects etc?

You’re not on your own.
I’ve definitely lost confidence and worry more about things - especially travel. We used to travel all over the place and book everything independently but now I just worry about stuff going wrong, double check everything but don’t trust my own judgment.
I can’t watch films now, can’t concentrate on it.
I find myself telling people the same thing I told them yesterday, and forget things I’ve been told only hours earlier.
All of this started with peri.

I just found this thread, as I’m getting worried about my memory
I’m late 40s, def perimenopausal, but my symptoms are otherwise manageable. My memory/brain fog seems to be getting worse tbough
I hold down quite a demanding job, which has ramped up recently, running multiple projects and manage to juggle life around this, but I forget whether I’ve had x conversation with A or B and some of the stuff I’m meant to be familiar with leaves my mind blank. I have to leave things around the house to remind me to do stuff (like things by the door to remind me to take them out with me). I used to be able to hold a shopping list in my head, now if it’s not written down, I don’t remember it.
I frequently go upstairs to do something and forget what it was, or find myself doing something else

i was diagnosed with ADD, years ago and I haven’t been on meds for years.

i also have B12 deficiency, which went undiagnosed for months (I just thought I was a bit run down). My B12 levels ended up very low and I was very ill by the time I was diagnosed, but the start of the brain fog seemed to coincide with this. I’m now on injections and my B12 levels are ok, but I’m worried there’s lasting damage.