Up and down libido

[MrsWhites]

I’m 41 and for the past few years PMT has been crazy, I get night sweats, red mist descending rage, anxiety, heavier periods that last longer, brain fog and periods got closer together to between 18-23 days, they have now gone the other way and have settled between 29-31 days for the last few months.

Anyway, you get the point, I’m peri-menopausal, it’s not surprising as my mum went through menopause in her early 40’s.

But the worst symptom for me is an up and down libido, for 2 weeks mid-cycle I can’t get enough, literally turn into a sex pest (although I don’t think my husband minds 😂), but then I wake up one day and it’s completely gone and instead comes a complete disconnect from anything to do with sex, intimacy or even a cuddle. It’s such a complete change, I know it’s upsetting my husband and it upsets me too but it’s like I’m totally switched off to him.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar and is there anything I can do to help? I can’t take HRT because of a strong family history of breast cancers.

My first advice would ask for referral to the genetic counselling services to find out if you have any of the BRCA genes, unless this has already been ruled out?

No I haven’t had genetic testing, I have considered it but it’s not something I want to do at the moment and I still wouldn’t be confident in taking HRT even if I didn’t have the gene.

When you have the genetic counselling it's in stages.

1. Information
2. You arrange to go back and get your bloods taken.
3. You arrange to go back and get your results.

So getting a referral and having the first appointment doesn't mean you are committed to finding out. You can also opt to have additional monitoring without having the test.