Asked for help, only to be told "you're doing brilliantly"

[Ohduckcake]

And I'm not. Really, I'm not. I don't know realistically what to do or where to go if when you ask for help, that's what you hear.

I'm 47 and was on hrt that I didn't think was working particularly well but I was muddling along until earlier this year when my neurologist took me off it (epilepsy). I can't get a GP appointment with a woman to get it sorted. It's not an emergency so the receptionist won't let me see one of the nursing team, and the appointments with the 2 women at the practice go within seconds of 8am every Monday.

My mental health has tanked, it's been a shitty year - mum died, I'm going to tribunal for DS2 EHCP, DS1 is struggling socially a bit, and we're reliant on my work topping up our income but it looks like my hours are about to be cut. It just feels like everything is a disaster - and I wonder if, in part that's my hormones. So today I rang the surgery, spoke to a male GP and got told that given the circumstances he thought I was doing brilliantly and could he refer me for cbt. I'm notdoing brilliantly well, I love my family, but if I had the money I would get on a train, rent a cabin in Scotland, go to bed not come back till I felt better.

Other meno symptoms are flaring up as well but what is the point of asking for help. I just am at a loss.

Any help appreciated.

It does sound like in the circumstances you’re doing brilliantly by even remotely holding it together. CBT could be useful too.
BUT this doesn’t mean you don’t also need support for menopause. Could you do an e consult, it can be easier to get thoughts down in writing, and talk about how you’re worried about the long term effects on heart and bone health and cognition, and ask for a specialist referral to see if there’s any form of hrt you could take that would be ok with your epilepsy meds?

Sending good vibes, I’m still figuring out if my HRT needs more tweaking a year into premature meno, but even now I’d accept a lot of health risk to be able to keep it.

Don’t take no for an answer. Keep going back until you are listened to. Write down all your physical symptoms, how long / often they happen. Write down your mental health issues and what happens at your worst. Write down the impact this is having on your life.

then write down what you want. What do you want? Change in hrt? Anti depressants? Be clear what you want when you go to an appointment.

And then don’t stop until you get it, or at least get a good conversation about it with a doctor.

In the meantime make sure you are doing everything else that you can to help yourself. How is your diet? Are your exercising? Are you meditating or doing mindfulness? Are reaching out to friends and loved ones for support? Are you taking vitamin d and getting outside?