Struggling with Perimenopause

[PeriPeriPeacock]

Hello 👋

I'm new here. Feeling very discouraged by these relentless symptoms and I need to vent! I guess I'm also reaching out in hopes someone in a similar situation to me has had a good outcome. I really need my spirits to be lifted (really not trying to 'sad fish'...just very discouraged today)

I've been having debilitating peri symptoms for 5 years now. I've seen several specialist, tried and failed at HRT due to side effects, I've tried birth control as a management and same issues as with HRT. I've tried many alternative therapies, functional medicine, nutrition, lifestyle changes, etc. I am currently having acupuncture and talk therapy.

I'm 38 and symptoms started at 33. Yes I'm certain it's perimenopause. Early meno runs in my family. My thyroid is fine. I've had many tests/health checks and seen many specialists (GP was of no help). It took 2 years of appointments to finally have some answers.

Prior to perimenopause, I had no history of health issues or mental health issues. I was a fit, active, high energy, 'type A' woman. Now I'm a shell of that beautiful, spirited woman and my life as I knew it has crumbled, despite my best efforts.

My entire month is a roller coaster of varying symptoms depending on where I am in my cycle. My last set of bloodwork was a mapping cycle and I'm having WILD estrogen swings throughout the month and it would appear that I feel every single fluctuation (woo hoo).

My husband (of 8 yrs) is so supportive and of course this has a massive negative impact on him as well....but right now, it is becoming increasingly difficult to watch from the sidelines as he grows more fit and handsome in his 30s, hits career milestones, wakes up every day reset and ready to go, has all the brain power, energy, focus, and drive that I used to have (one of the mutual traits that initially bonded us). Is anyone else in a similar situation? How do you deal with it? I've only recently had these feelings pop up (likely bc it's weighing on me that it has been FIVE yrs and I'm still losing the peri battle)

My other question is...to those that also have severe symptoms...

How long did your perimenopause last? I know it varies for everyone but 10 yrs seems to be a popular concensus and I cannot take 5 more years of this!!!!

Also, if you are still in it, how many years have you been in it?

Anyone else that feels like dropping words of encouragement, I'll accept that too ;)

Thank you in advance for any replies and thanks for your time

I was perimenopausal for about 10 years. Worse symptom was flooding heavy periods. However from a mental point of view I felt fine. I felt worse once my periods stopped. Crushing anxiety and depression. Are you still having regular periods?

Thank you for your reply. I had my first 40+ day cycle in July of this year, but other than that, I'm on a 26-28 day cycle for the past year and a half (down from 30-33)

Can i ask what side effects you had with the Hrt that caused you to stop?

Just that I've also had crushing peri symptoms for about 2 years before seeking help, and it's taken nearly 3 years of trial and error with hrt doses to get me stabilised and "normal" for 2-3 weeks evety month. I know some women see the benefits straight away but for me it has been a bumpy road.

Hi OP, did you try all the different types of HRT and not just the standard one on the NHS. Patches, gels etc...

Have you had a discussion about testosterone as well. From my very little knowledge, you can diagnose low levels of testosterone from bloods alone unlike oestrogen and progesterone which do fluctuate.

How about magnesium, vitamin D and evening primrose with starflower. All these made a noticeable difference to my symptoms.

Other than that really focusing on healthy eating and regular exercise to include both cardio and weights. Weight training seems to be more important as we get older. I'm still learning all the benefits myself and was shocked at how low muscle mass can impact women.

Really sorry you are suffering these symptoms. It must be so frustrating trying so many things and still feeling low at times. I hope you find something that works soon.

We were unable to get the balance right. So I was having hormonal swings AND having the added HRT in my system. It was just too much. I tried patch, gel, utrogestan, progestin, all at varying dosage and cycle timing. I was told HRT would 'top up my own hormones and balance out the fluctuations'. That didn't happen...and it never 'settled' as they say.

Estrogen side effects were an increase in pain and swelling of my already unbearable breast pain, racing pulse, extreme anxiety, irritability, bloating, water retention

Utrogestan was great for sleep and helped shed water weight (at first) but the longer I was on it, I was an absolute zombie/exhausted through the day and it increased forgetfulness (losing words, forgetting what I was talking about in the middle of a sentence etc).

Hi thank you for your reply, good advice, and kind words!

I never went through NHS (I was all but laughed out of the office)

I have tried to get testosterone but the specialists I have seen always want me to try estrogen first (with the idea that if estrogen is topped up then you may feel better and not need test yet) and it never works so I'm at a loss as far as trying testosterone. I also tried an online assessment but they won't prescribe under 40 y/o apparently. Plus, my testosterone is always average levels, but I would like to atleast try it.

I was on Evening Primrose and Starflower for 2 years. It did absolutely nothing. I was on magnesium and Vit D for many years prior and still am on it. I've had my vit D levels tested and I'm always optimal.

I was in the fitness field for my entire adult life until all of this started. I agree weight lifting, cardio, and yoga are SOOOO important!! I still keep up with that in the best ways I can (shorter workouts, less intensity etc)...but it does mean other things are neglected because I only have so much energy in a day. I've incorporated somatic movement too which really helps with calming and grounding.

Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry that it took so long for you to feel 'normal'...and even then not even for the entire month. It really is a bumpy road for some of us! Oh to be one of the 'lucky' ones lol. Hopefully you are able to gain back that extra week or 2! ❤️

I've been having debilitating peri symptoms for 5 years now. I've seen several specialist, tried and failed at HRT due to side effects

It's unusual not to be able to find some sort of hrt that helps.

From what you've said it sounds as if you were possibly using too much estrogen at first.

You say you tried all kinds but did you try a very low dose like half a blob of gel? Work upwards very slowly? Or a longer cycle of 3 months (not monthly?)
The specialists you saw should be able to tailor all of these off-licence.
eg. Utrogestan vaginally for only 10 days per cycle?

Did you see really good specialists or just GPs with some meno training? There's often a massive difference between what they know.

Have you tried high dose omega 3? Really helped with my brain fog.

Have you tried Mirena? A consistent low-dose level of progesterone might be more stabilising than trying to create a cycle.

Have you tried antidepressants? As well as, not instead of HRT. The emotional symptoms of peri can be debilitating, on top of our emotional responses to the physical symptoms. IIRC Prozac can also help with hot flushes.

Is it possible you have Long Covid to contend with as well? IME it makes any existing health issues worse.

BTW the reason you're being refused testosterone is because our bodies will convert it to oestrogen if we are low on oestrogen. Do you won't get it until oestrogen therapy has been proven effective for you.

So sorry it's been so hard for you. It can get better.

I wonder if you would benefit from a complete reset and take it slowly again?

I would find a good endocrinologist as there may be more to it than perimenopause?

Following a private health check I found I had high levels of prolactin which can give symptoms similar to perimenopause. I had an MRI scan with came back normal and now waiting to see an endocrinologist as I am confused and want to confirm if perimenopausal or something else is going on?

Prior to this I saw the best menaupause specialist in my area who put me on HRT without any tests and I am 44 years old. They should really do a full hormone check since something like prolactin gives some similar symptoms? I know estrogen can fluctuate but how are other hormones impacing us?

Also, what are your dietary changes? Have you tried a mediterranean diet style but lower carbs and very low sugar? I also cut out any ultraprocessed foods. I wasn't eating a lot before but lower carbs and sugar make a huge difference.

Too much strenuous exercise can also have a bad impact.

Read on nervous and endocrine systems and impact on our whole body function.