Peri and coping

[Lex345]

Hi, feel a bit silly writing this, but I don't really have anyone to talk to irl. I'm 40 and pretty sure I am in perimenopause. My periods havent stopped but cramping is worse, struggling to use tampons (used them for years), night sweats, dry skin; but the thing I am really struggling with is how I am feeling. Some days are better than others, but others I feel joyless, worthless and empty. Our GP is really hard to get in to see and I really don't want to take anti depressants-I was put on Citalopram about 10 years ago for situational stress at work and I was terrified by the thoughts I had racing through my head taking them-worse than I was before! What can I do to help myself? I just want to be happy again.
I get wound up and emotional over things that would never have bothered me before and I am sure I am a nightmare to live with.

Would going on the pill help? Dh has had a vasectomy so not needed but willing to try anything to get my life back.

Thank you for reading, sorry its a bit long and self centred, I am just so unhappy.

Print off a list of peri menopause symptoms and tick off yours, then go to the GP and ask for a trial of HRT.
An I get it when you say you feel joyless, worthless and empty 💐

I'm on the progesterone only pill which I believe is keeping 90 per cent of symptoms at bay.
I don't feel depressed as such, more like my heads full. I have no more space for thinking or doing.
I can manage everyday stuff but I have always been the goto sorter outer, and I'm struggling with this now.
Definitely see someone at your surgery. My goto is a lovely nurse my age who actually listens.

Also on the progesterone only pill and have a feeling this keeps the worst at bay. I don't get periods on this pill though so unclear how I will even know when I have reached menopause. I like your description of your head being full. I totally agree with that. Things that I once would have organised just are not getting done. I am 47.

Thank you so much for replying. I didn't realise I could take HRT before I was actually in menopause sorry that probably sounds really stupid! I think I am a bit worried about the GP-even if i manage to get in (they have a same day only system) that I will be offered anti depressants and nothing else, which I dont want to do.
I have tried to help myself a bit by exercising more outdoors and it does help a bit straight after, but its a short lived lift.
How do you all manage your mood with everyone around you?
How long does this feeling last?
Will I ever be me again?

Print off the NICE guidelines around menopause which do state antidepressants should not be offered as a first line treatment. I would also advocate asking your practice if you can speak to a health professional who has a special interest in female health and, as previously mentioned, take a list of symptoms. Good luck 🤞

You are peri menopausal when your symptoms fit. TBH it would be a very pro active GP who offered it to you now, but you never know.
I got the Mirena due to heavy periods, and it helped my rage for a short time.

The pill has been amazing for me, stopped anxiety, improved mood, helped with painful periods and helped heart palpitations. I'm 40.

Also, I can exercise more consistently which is helpful as not stopping for a week every month due to pmt/period. I was advised by gp to run pills through so I do this for 2/3 packets and then have a 4 day break

HRT drastically improved my mood, before it I was considering that I might need antidepressants. Definitely have a chat to the GP, see what the options are.

If you are in the UK, see if your GP has a women's health clinic or nurse that specialises in HRT. Get an appt in that way and take it from there. They will take you seriously.

@SqueamishHamish I've always had periods on this pill so wondered if I'd know if anything had changed.
Periods have been a bit whacky for the last year but haven't had one since May which is very unusual.
Lady I work with never had periods on the pill, she turned 55 and they stopped her prescription, touch wood, no period yet.

Hello, I feel you OP. I am a bit older than you and been in peri for 2 years. Not on HRT yet but suspect at some point I will. Symptoms have massively reduced by taking supplements and resistance training. I no longer feel perimenopausal although obviously I am. Good luck.

If you have the time watch Georgia Ede and Elizabeth Bright on youtube, or read their books.

Georgia Ede is a psychiatrist who talks about a brain healthy diet, and how food affects mental health.
Elizabeth Bright is another doctor and she stresses the importance of the diet for women in the production of hormones.

Best of luck.

I’ve got the peri permanent ‘meh’ feeling. it’s not helpful for work, home or health.

As well as starting HRT I started taking a fair amount of vit d and it definitely makes me more cheerful. Still haven’t figured out the energy part though.

Vitamin B complex for energy

Can I ask if this was the combined pill or progesterone only? I can't take combined due to stroke risk (migraines with aura) so hoping progesterone only might still provide some relief...

Sorry this was directed to @BuildersTea001

Can I ask if this was the combined pill or progesterone only? I can't take combined due to stroke risk (migraines with aura) so hoping progesterone only might still provide some relief...

It's a combined but the GP has said I need to stop taking it soon, as I'm 40. They have suggested Qlaira as it contains the oestrogen that they use in HRT (non synthetic maybe?) Hope you can get some good advice from your GP. I don't want to do the mini pill as I want the oestrogen!

@BuildersTea001 I have read that if you're on the progesterone only pill you can request extra oestrogen.
The pop can be prescribed till 55 so that gives you a few more years of the pill.
Dreading losing the pop in two years but got to say my symptons were so much worse this time last year.
Maybe I'm coming out the other side? I don't know.