Not me any more

[ChiffandBipper]

Anyone else feel like this?

I have zero concentration, can barely focus at work, and constantly dropping the ball. I have a professional job that I've been in for 8 years (and in the wider industry for 20), but I've totally lost interest in my job (which I used to love) but don't think I am qualified for anything else. I keep losing my words and thoughts mid sentence. Feel totally useless.

I have spent 40 years being told by everyone that I'm so laid back I'm practically horizontal, but in the last few years, I've started to feel anxious all the time.

I'm ratty with the kids, or too tired to do anything. I've put of 4 stone in the last 4 years, going from a size 12 to a size 20/22, but have no energy or motivation to shift it.

I used to feel fairly together, but I think I have cried about one thing or another every day for the last year or more. I used to be such a capable human, and now I feel like an emotional, idiotic, highly strung blob.

Is this normal for women of a certain age? I'm 44 and perimenopausal. Symptoms have been coming for a while, but I had my last child at 39 so attributed the weight gain and baby brain to being perinatal rather than perimenopausal, but periods stopped 2 months ago and looking back I can join the dots to the other symptoms. Has anyone ever got back to their pre-menopausal "old self" or will I just feel like this for the rest of my life?

Any thoughts on supplements, HRT, coping strategies?

Bumping for you to hopefully get some helpful answers. Sending hugs x

No real answers, just solidarity. What's helping me is to reinvent a little. I've taken up some hobbies I'd abandoned that used to be important to me when younger, started gardening (was never that keen but it's actually quite relaxing and good exercise) and go for a walk more often. I make sure I make time for things like reading, which is easy to neglect when I'm so busy with the demands of everyone else. It's actually starting to help.

I can relate. It's the not being arsed thing. My dearest best friend lives in another city and when she suggests meet ups I find myself actually pretending to be excited. My real feeling is a sinking Blackadderesque 'oh god what now'.

Defo see your doctor. HRT could make a real difference. Everyone I know is on it and swears by it, including me.

Definitely worth thinking about HRT. Brain fog, anxiety and a feeling if ICBA are all perimenopausal symptoms.

I've found one solution to ICBA is to just make myself start through sheer willpower. Once I've got going, it's easier to continue and I might even enjoy it. I also feel generally better about life and myself when it feels like I've accomplished something, which is energising in turn.

HRT! I started be become anxious at the age of 43 after spending my life being super chill. I've been on HRT 6 months now and back to my relaxed self!

I feel exactly the same. I can't take HRT so I'm just trying to get through it. My solution is on the rare days I do have motivation I book stuff. As I hate changing plans once it is in the diary I will do it when it come around.

HRT really helps.

I’m not there with the brain fog yet but apparently testosterone is the hormone that helps with that. My levels are practically nonexistent. So that’s my next chat with the GP.

But everything else has improved with HRT.

Solidarity OP.
I can't take HRT, but it could work for you? Maybe see your GP as first port of call? You won't know until you try!

I would say you need to see your GP to rule out other things, such as your thyroid and any deficiencies that might be contributing. If that's all ok then HRT is probably a good idea to try.