I have had a SHOCKING year. At times I've honestly felt like I was going mad. I would have welcomed the "men in white coats" with open arms! Or I was ready to break completely in two and do something like fake my own death or run away to a convent. I jest. But I don't want to downplay the mental pain and anguish. Short of actual self harm (other than wine to my liver) I was praying for it all to end.
My hrt journey hasn't been the 180 revolution that it is for some. I've had problems with absorption of patches etc etc. it was a long slow slog of try something, wait, try again and pray I don't get sacked or divorced in the meantime.
Progesterone has been the same all along. (2021)
Testosterone introduced 22nd August.
Most recent oestrogen dose tweak 13 days ago.
But yesterday and today I feel calm, clear, peaceful in the absence of anxiety. And this is despite employment being 10/10 crazy and a million other reasonable stressors which mean this shouldn't be the case. There are no external reasons that I can think of for this step change.
I want this "fix" to be the hrt. Because if it isn't then this random-ness is just too much to bare.
Praying this is the light at the end of the tunnel and not the fecking train!!