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Menopause

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Original poster

Think thats it...and have two young LOs, very odd feeling...

36 replies

Elibean · 21/04/2008 13:35

Its a year since my last period. AAARGH! Just had to type that out loud somewhere, because am feeling very and about it and most of my friends are still happily pre-menopausal or post-menopausal with grown up kids.

Mine, unusually, are 4.5 and 18 mos. Long story, but I wasn't able to have them till my forties.

Menopause and playgroups are a very odd (and somewhat isolating) mix. Wonder if I should start an old Mums' support group?!

Wittering on...possibly another symptom...

OP posts:
poodlepusher · 21/04/2008 19:58

I turn 40 this year and was really heartened to find a lot of mums in their early forties around with the same age as my own.

And I've met women with first babies when they're 43,44,45,46

so its a good idea. good luck

poodlepusher · 21/04/2008 19:59

er, I missed out the essential word, "kids"

as in "kids around"

its not just a menapausal symptom!

Original poster
Elibean · 22/04/2008 08:16

Thanks PP

How old are yours? My BF had her two at 40 and 44, so I'm lucky - I do know a few 40s mums too. Just not menopausal ones, I seem to have done that bit early and the kids late!

OP posts:
poodlepusher · 22/04/2008 13:45

Mine are 4 months and 20 months, I squeezed them both out in exactly a 2 yr period.

Original poster
Elibean · 25/04/2008 14:03

Well go you, PP

You are probably too busy for worrying about menopause, eh?!

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ancientmiddleagedmum · 28/04/2008 12:55

I will join the older mums club - have a 7 and a 5 yr old at 44. I do feel very different (sometimes) to the other mums in the playground. No longer interested in fashion or going out - in fact, am so knackered that merely the thought of going out after a long day with the kids makes me feel TIRED!

bigTillyMint · 28/04/2008 13:07

In our playground you would not be an older mum - there's loads of us

magso · 30/04/2008 14:56

'Fraid I'm part of this club too - early change and a young child in tow. I have more in common with some of the grandmothers that collect at school than the young mums! Ds is 8 now.

Freckle · 03/05/2008 08:09

Haven't hit the menopause yet, although there are faint signs that it may be around the corner, but I am an older mum too, having my 3 at 37, 38 and 41. I have to say that I never feel out of place in the playground and fortunately have never been mistaken for my children's grandmother (which is entirely possible as I have just become a great-aunt!). Most of my good friends are anywhere between 7 - 15 years younger than I am, but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

Rosylily · 03/05/2008 08:34

I'm 41 and my youngest is 13 months. I don't feel older than other mums in the playground, I don't seem to be the only older mum, (though by the time ds3 is at school that may change!)

According to blood tests I'm premenopausal/perimenopausal is it the same thing?

I haven't had a period for a year but I am still breastfeeding so not sure about that yet.

My grandmothers periods stopped at 40 but I'm still thinking I'll get more periods once I finish breastfeeding.

I don't feel upset at the thought of the menopause but I am certainly very aware that I'm entering a new phase of life, getting older and leaving something behind now....

Original poster
Elibean · 03/05/2008 19:27

Its odd, because when I had dd1 at 43 I went through a phase of feeling ancient at the pre-school gate...but nowadays, I don't notice my age at all in relation to her. dd2 - conceived at 45 and born at 46 - I feel positively antique with! But I do suspect that part of that is the 'old 'feeling that goes with being bent double by the not-yet-walking-still-waking-at-night-totally-knackering phase.

Oh I hope so.

There are lots of early 40s Mums where I live, but 46 was pushing it

My sister's BF, though, had twins (naturally, no IVF) at 49. She thought she was in menopause as her periods stopped, but noooooo....

OP posts:
Original poster
Elibean · 03/05/2008 19:30

Meant to say - I had to go and see a gynae today for a pre-op appointment (having a teeny uterine polyp removed on Tuesday) and he went into shock at how young my kids were. He said it was because he was only just out of that knackering phase with his kids and was just quaking in his shoes at the thought of anyone else going through it, but

He must have been early 40s himself - but he's a he, so

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barnstaple · 03/05/2008 19:36

I'll join! I was 41 when dd was born (my one and only), and she's now 8. I am post-menopause this year. It finally happened last year, and I barely noticed. I'm not bothered by it.

I am about the same age as a lot of dd's school friends' grandmothers though! And DH took her swimming recently and a boy asked her about her grandad!

Original poster
Elibean · 03/05/2008 19:40

Sounds like we're lucky, barnstaple - can't say I've had any symptoms either, no hot flushes or sweats. I did have a couple of migraines at Xmas time, but thats it.

I've only once been referred to as 'granny' and that was by a swimming instructor on holiday, who was understandably confused because we had a 30 yr old female friend with us, who was playing with dd in the pool...I've forgiven him now

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heronsfly · 03/05/2008 19:42

Can I join too,
I had dc5 at 41,and dc6 at43 now early 50s and definatly menopausal,never been mistaken for there grandparents,but have had some funny looks when out with my eldest son and two small children think people thought I had a toy boy

Original poster
Elibean · 03/05/2008 19:46

heronsfly

This is great, I'm delighted to be in such good company!

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Rosylily · 04/05/2008 10:08

Is migraine a symptom of menopause then? I'm being tortured every couple of weeks by migraine. Used to just get them the odd time.

I have a very tall almost 17 year old and when I've been out with him and he's carrying the baby I have noticed some curious looks.

I'm looking forward to being the granny though...just imagine being able to play with the baby and then hand it back and go and have a full nights sleep! Woohoo!

My mother kindly pointed out that I would look young for my age if it wasn't for the massive bags and shadows under my eyes! (Thanks mum)

tissy · 04/05/2008 10:14

can I join?

I'm nearly 45 and have a six year old. there aren't going to be any more....I had a terrible pregnancy and then PND, and went back to work to discover the person who'd been covering me had caused chaos which took nearly a year to sort out. dd would dearly love a baby sister (not a brother ), and to make things worse, my SIL already has five, and my sister is onto her fifth pregnancy, and they're both only slightly younger than me.

Original poster
Elibean · 04/05/2008 12:09

Hello Tissy I'm sorry you had such a rough time postnatally...sounds hard. Lol at your dd wanting a sister but not a brother - we went through that, and luckily for her, dd2 wasn't a ds1! Does having lots of cousins help the wanting and not having? dd1 was very nearly an only - we thought she would be - and I did comfort myself with the thought of her little cousins.

OP posts:
tissy · 04/05/2008 13:04

well, yes, a little, but we live so far away, that we only get to see them on special occasions.

Dd's best friend has helped by declaring her little sister annoying!

soapbox · 04/05/2008 13:07

I had an early menopause at 39 and am now 43! My children were very young at the time too.

I had few symptoms too, and other than the odd broody moment - like cuddling my friends newborn gorgeous little thing - I'm actually quite glad to be on this side of the divide

Original poster
Elibean · 04/05/2008 13:42

I do sometimes wonder if I'd have more energy, or be less stiff in the mornings, if I had more oestrogen

Then again, having older LOs might help there...!

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heronsfly · 04/05/2008 14:09

I know what you mean Elibean,my symptoms are not bad at all, but I sometimes feel that my energy levels are low,mentally as well as physically,I have looked into natural remedies but there are so many its hard to know where to start.

Rosylily · 05/05/2008 08:11

Well I'm determined to get into yoga more and excercise to keep my body and mind youthfull...I've done one session of yogalates 2 weeks ago, since then I've been in a blur of sleeplessness and struggling with small children and chicken pox!

I tried to do some yoga with the children around and that was a disaster because they all just climbed all over me. If I leave it until they are in bed I'm usually too wrecked!
So it's an ongoing project

Tissy my dd would have liked a sister too, although she does like her 3 brothers (and bosses them all) My eldest boy was an only child until 11 and the compensation for him is that he had all my energy and attention.

The other children have each other to play with as compensation because I am now a wreck and totally different kind of mother to them!

At the moment I am blaming three small children and long distant dh on my tiredness and fully believe that I'll have loads of energy again as they get older. (hopefully!)

I feel that I've been dominated by my hormones all my adult life and I am looking forward to being free of all those monthly ups and downs.

Original poster
Elibean · 07/05/2008 21:06

I know exactly what you mean about exercise, Rosylily - am now managing one swim per week (and brisk walk there and back) but no way do I have energy to do it after kids are in bed. Is yogalates a mix of yoga and pilates? Sounds good!

Meant to say re migraines, yes, they can certainly be part of the hormonal wind-down...I had them as an adolescent, then only very occasionally as adult, but had a few (about one a month) over the winter. My sister had them during run up to meno, as well - then went on HRT and they stopped.

My GP actually refused me HRT because of them, initially, then researched more and is now ok with prescribing it if I still want it. Am considering a couple of years of the cyclical one, but won't take it past 50....not sure, but I do have some bone thinning already so maybe worth it.

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