Lonely but don’t want to socialise

[SunnySideUK77]

Is this an age thing? I work hard, I take care of myself with exercise and diet, I love my family and support the teens in all they accomplish etc. But I can’t imagine socialising. I can’t imagine being out after 9pm. People ask me if I want to meet for a cup of tea or do a book club or whatever but I just want to hibernate and keep to myself. But I think my soul is flat from never doing much unless my husband organises and it.
will it pass? Is it menopause? Am I depressed? I feel really sad and low when I’m just m my own. I just feel so tired, and yet I manage to run and lift weights.

I went on HRT when I realised that I didn’t want to go out to socialise, it did help.
Im currently feeling really lonely, despite having a DH and DC at home. It’s really not a nice time.

I’m on the combined pill still at 47 but think I can feel things changing in the background of that makes any sense?
Yes that’s how I feel lonely but amongst people I love - DH and DC.
i do a fine job at work and can be bubbly and sociable there. But then I hit a wall and just want to curl up.
Did the HRT help at all? X

do a fine job at work and can be bubbly and sociable there. But then I hit a wall and just want to curl up.

Following as this sounds exactly like me.

Sometimes I find that I really can't be bothered going out to socialise but I know that I have to force myself over that hump because 99% of the time I end up having fun. I've learnt this through trial and error and suffering from social anxiety to varying degrees over the years.

How might you feel when you're actually out and with people? Could it be a case of getting through that initial hump/transition of going from cosy home to out with people?

There's some quite startling research showing that loneliness is very bad for our health. So while I totally get that you don't feel like it (I'm also in peri and finding curling up with a nice book increasingly tempting), investing in your social life is as important as the other things you're clearly doing to take care of your health. I'd say it might be better for your long term health to drop an exercise session to focus on something social. That said it sounds like you need to find a social life that works for you, e.g. something that doesn't involve being out after 9! Volunteering is a great way of getting instant community and boosting your mood, plus it generally has a routine and people depending on you that helps to get you out of the door. Fitting it around the things you enjoy doing can also work well, e.g. could you volunteer at your local parkrun?

I’m the life and soul at work, but feel so bored/frustrated/angry at home. HRT did help with the wanting to go out, but I think some of it is just getting older. I used to go to gigs on my own, now I want a shower and PJ’s by 8pm, and I’m bed at 10.
I gave up drink in peri, so now I can’t see the point of socialising.
HRT did help a bit, I go for coffees now, went for lunch recently, and have started wanting to go for days out. I’ve not wanted to go on holiday though.

I'm an introvert so I'm not big on socialising generally. However DP and I have gone out and done more day trips in the 3 and a bit months that I've been on HRT than we've done in the whole of the previous 2 years!

It's definitely given me a renewed interest in life that I hadn't realised I'd lost. It's also reduced the anxiety and fatigue that put me off doing anything

I think anything that takes effort can be hard to do when you don’t do it. Things like this are like muscles you need to do it, and do it semi regularly and then the easier it becomes and the better for you.
There’s no reason you need to be out until 1am to socialise. Surely things like a book club are at like 7pm?

Often the monotony of normal routines are actually more tiring than doing something else.