Getting through without HRT. What helped you?

[abouttoturn50]

Morning! So as the title says, looking for advice for managing without HRT. I'm 50 and my only symptoms really are anxiety, which I’ve had on and off for years but has increased over the last 20 months after the suicide of my partner and then recently the sudden death of my daughters partner, so in all honesty that could be the cause rather than hormonal! I have started weekly counselling. I have acid reflux for which I take Nizatidine. Also sleep hasn’t been great.

I’ve tried Evorel Conti which was fine until adding progesterone. I then had a coil fitted which sent me over the edge and had to be taken out after 10 days! (Even though I’d had one before!) I was then given Evorel 50 and Utrogestan a few months ago and I’ll be honest, I’ve messed about with it so much. I start the Evorel and sometimes it seems to calm the anxiety but I then get panicky about starting the Utrogestan and stop altogether. I’ve done this a few times and I’m aware I’ve probably caused my hormones to be completely out of kilter now. BUT I obsess about it constantly and I think that in itself is not great for my mental health. When using the Evorel I don’t sleep any better (maybe I only need 6 hours sleep anyway?) and I wake up feeling groggy and horrible which also triggers my anxiety!

I’ve just had enough of worrying about HRT! I don’t know where I am with my own hormones as I’d had a coil for 5 years up until a month before I began trying the HRT. I know everyone says give it 3 months but I really feel that I don’t have it in me to keep trying! I’ve cut the Everol 50 patch in half for a few days rather than just stop the 50 straight away. I've been referred to gynae for help but that's won't be for at least 20 weeks or so.
I’m thinking that maybe I need to have 3 months of my own hormones to see where and how I am?

Any advice re things that have worked instead of HRT would be very welcome!

I'm sorry to hear about the deaths in your family. That will be tough.

TBH it doesn't matter what helped other people, because it's what will help you!
There are loads of women who'll post to say they were fine without HRT, or used herbs etc but that doesn't mean you'll find the same.

If you had the Mirena coil before, is that not worth another try? And add estrogen gel to it? You can start on a tiny dose and work upwards.

Maybe you need to separate out the two things- carry on with your therapy and try to step back and be more 'chilled' with trying HRT? You could perhaps consider CBT as well which may help with your anxiety.

Oh you have had a huge amount to deal
with no wonder you are anxious and not sleeping well. I have had similar circumstances 2 deaths in close family (my mum and my children's father) within six months and am also going through the menopause.

I also tried HRT and didn't stick with it - I couldn't go beyond about two weeks I felt awful on it. So I have just had to go cold turkey and let it happen!

My sleep and level of anxiety have been the main issues.

I try and manage it through diet and exercise and learning to accept myself as I am as I adjust to all the internal (stage of life, emotional processing ) and external (people dying) changes.

I eat plant based and don't eat any sugar or grains. Im lucky cos that is actually what I like to eat. I don't drink alcohol. I exercise (e.g. get on my bike, jog, dog walks, gentle swim, bit of yoga) every day.

I have also made some changes in my lifestyle like working a bit differently.

Take calcium and iron and vitamin d.

Therapy.

Appreciate this sounds like hard work but I like it!!

@JinglingSpringbells thank you, you always make me feel a bit better on my anxiety ridden posts! 🙈 I did try the Mirena again and reacted quite badly, I got really anxious, irritable and erratic and I couldn't cope. Maybe it would have settled but I really couldn't cope with how I felt and hadn't had a reaction that bad in the past.

I have diazepam to take when needed now which helps but I do only take it when anxiety turns to panic.

When I look back at my calendar, where I'm keeping notes on how I feel, I do think the oestrogen part helps with the anxiety. About 8-9 days after starting it I felt a lot calmer! I suppose if I have a reaction to the Uttogestan I can ride it out with some diazepam and just stop and wait for gynae? I'm going to take it vaginally even though the GP says she can't say yes to that 🙄

@Objectrelations thank you for your reply 😊 I've been eating a lot healthier than I had been and walking/youtube workouts which definitely help to burn off the anxious energy.

My counsellor suggested yoga and breathing exercises, she said I don't "breathe properly", when I get anxious it's like I'm gulping for air 🙈 I have no idea where to start with yoga, I've seen there's lots on YouTube but if you could point me in the right direction for a good one to start with that would be greatly appreciated. I bought a yoga mat but that's as far as I've got 🤣

Is there anything you like doing that helps your mood? Where you can just switch off?

Reading? Listening to music? Walking? Singing? (Some people love choirs like Rock Choirs.) Not for me but....!

I tend to go a bit mad if I don't get outside almost every day. I'm right next to open countryside so I get out for an hour and if I'm feeling down it does help.

Is private meno treatment an option or not? (I appreciate the cost.)
There aren't many other drugs but the ones that are used can be tweaked. For example, you can stretch the estrogen only part a little so you're using Utrogestan less often. It needs supervision which may include an 'MOT' scan once a year.

I hope you find a way through this.

@JinglingSpringbells I got my diamond art boxes out of the loft yesterday and ordered myself some nice bright pictures to do 😊

I agree with getting outside it's just harder when anxiety kicks in. I'm trying to accept it and not let it stop me doing things... easier said than done sometimes though.

I will consider a private meno clinic if I don't get on with the Utrogestan. I've read so many posts where people have been intolerant but been fine taking it vaginally so that's my plan. I'll start Friday night so if I have any issues I won't have to be anywhere 🤣

I'm just at a point where I'm fed up with feeling like this but I know I'm not giving the HRT enough of a chance!

I'm going cold turkey as hrt no magic answers but taking magnesium to try to help sleep. Avoiding sugar helps with leg aches.
Recommend yoga with Adrienne. Scroll through this playlist of videos or any others on her channel and see what resonates. Her bedtime yoga or basically any where she is wearing cosy clothes is usually more gentle! https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLui6Eyny-UzwDdFPVSeYN3aTG_B1qtHtz&si=UUEUAyqedllICHl5

That all sounds good!

Do you like walking with people?

Where I am there are loads of walking groups where you could buddy-up with other women. Might not be your thing and if you work full time it won't be possible. Only a thought. Not everyone likes company.

MIND has research that shows walking outside and getting into green spaces has a really calming effect .

I'm so sorry for your losses, that is a traumatic thing to go through and I'm sure will be part of your issues. 🤗

For me, the anxiety was definitely the worst part. And it sounds like fobbing off, but I have to say that exercise really does help... like @JinglingSpringbells , I have to get out for an hour a day or I start chewing the kitchen cabinets like an anxious labrador... This is also good for bone strength (walking, not chewing cabinets) - any weight-bearing exercise is good. I seem to remember I found Menopace pills helpful, but I think there is a limit to what supplements can do.

And I'm afraid, for me, the booze had to go... I've had my struggles with it, been on and off it, but there is a clear correlation between drinking and anxiety/bad sleep for me... I try to see it as an exciting new stage, it's pretty trendy to be sober these days... 😁 Absolutely prioritise sleep, it takes a lot of energy to deal with these changes. Your brain is rewiring like it did in the teenage years, and we know how they sleep!

It's weird, isn't it - your body rolls along looking after itself perfectly well for decades - but then we evolve into quite a different person at menopause and the old tricks and patterns don't work. It takes some experimenting to find out what works for us now, and don't be afraid to prune obligations and commitments that aren't working for you, if you can - that's a part of it too. A sort of refining and streamlining of our lives.

Good luck!

@JinglingSpringbells unfortunately I'm very isolated atm, my own doing after what happened. I've avoided people so much and it hasn't done me any good so I do need to get back in touch with "real life". I have 3 grown up children and a 12 year old (2 of them at home) and 2 grandsons, they are the only people I see other than my best mate who works long hours. I'm off sick long term because of how bad my mental health was, I was really hoping it would be improving by now and I'd be working again ☹️

I will look to see what there is in my area though, I hadn't thought about that 😊

I tried hrt for a couple of years as I had heightened anxiety and sleep issues. My teen was going off the rails and my DM had stage 4 cancer which didn't help. My DM's passing got me on a health kick ( she was on estrogen for about 30 years which may or may not have contributed to her cancer but it made me think about my hrt and wonder if it was really essential for me ).
I ditched the hrt, decided not to stress about poor sleep and just to go through menopause naturally. It really hasn't been as bad as I thought and I've come through the other side now and my health feels good, my sleep is still awful but I've accepted it as part of my life. I listen to audiobooks if I can't sleep and see it as me time.

Oh that all sounds so tough.

In my area there are weekly 'health walks' that are run (I think) as part of the British Heart Foundation and they are usually gentle 2-3 mile strolls. (I've not done them but they are online.)

Someone in my area also set up a women's networking group on Facebook (let's call it 'Lovely Ladies' - not the real name) and it's for women of all ages who are lonely, haven't socialised much, want to make new friends, or are new to the area. People add events, like walks, a pub quiz, a meal out, and there is usually at least one drop-in coffee meeting a week. A lot of the members are very open about feeling lonely and just want to get out and about a bit.

You could also look at the national site Meet Up which does the same kind of thing but not just for women.

It's also the best time of year to start classes - yoga classes, art, book clubs- anything you fancy. Enrolment is always in Sept.

I'm sure you can do this!

@JinglingSpringbells @Objectrelations @hashimotosucks @Compash @passiveaggressivenonsense

Thank you all so much for your replies. I received an email yesterday to say I'd come to the top of the waiting list for CBT and will be starting on Friday! I'm hoping I can carry on with my counselling alongside this, but if not I will pause that to do the CBT as I know this will be more beneficial in the right now with counselling being a longer term solution.

I had a long chat with my GP and they agree I should stop the HRT for the time being as it is just putting more pressure on to my already fragile MH. If necessary I will try again when I'm feeling more stable.

So for now I will be carrying on with a healthy diet, walking and add in some yoga. I'm also adding in some Omega 3 and calcium supplements.

I feel a lot calmer now there's light at the end of the tunnel and I don't have to stress about HRT atm. In fact I've just had the best nights sleep I've had in ages! 😊

I've been here the last 24 hours scouring the menopause boards as I think I'm definitely in to either peri or menopause

The night sweats are the worst and have been for a good five nights now so I've just ordered moisture absorbing vest tops for bed.

I also am going to try without hrt mainly as I already take a synthetic hormone for another health condition which has similar symptoms to menopause due to it being hormone related so I really want to try a different approach.
I've also just spent 18 months watching my sister have an absolute mental breakdown which started when she started hrt and had to change it so many times as nothing agreed with her.
It tipped her over the edge so I'm petrified of that happening to me.

I've just bought menopace plus as recommended here and I have a magnesium butter I rub into my feet due to other condition but I don't do it often so ramping that up

I've lost 25 lbs in weight since April as I have really been trying as had an awful diet so I focus on protein and not many carbs and drink 2 ltrs of water a day.

That makes me feel much better anyway.

I've purchased a yoga mat and an app on my phone to do ten minute yoga morning and evening.

I also live near a beach which I try to get to at least 4 times a week to walk with a de caff (stopped caffeine and don't drink alcohol anyway)
I've just bought a dry robe so I can go even when it's raining and cold.

Next step is to give up smoking as I hate it but feel now's the time to be as healthy as I can to get through this.

I've also recently adjusted work hours so I work three longer days a week but have four days off.
It's my own business so one of the days I get all the paperwork stock cleaning that kind of thing done then I can shut the door and step away for three days as it was starting to infilter every day which was getting to me so looking after mental health is a massive one

I would like to see updates from everyone who is also trying without.

I hope your therapy goes well op and I'm really sorry you've had a horrid time.

Fingers crossed we can all help each other through it